I was wondering if anyone else has this but sometimes right before something bad happens ill get a really bad feeling. I can’t really describe the feeling accurately but it feels sort of like really bad anxiety and apprehension without a cause. It can be a bit debilitating I find that I have to just hide in my room, and focus all my attention on trying to stay calm. Does anyone know what this is and how I can deal with it better? For example I had the bad feeling last week and was lying in bed trying to ignore it, and stay calm when my stepbrother came home all of a sudden and started throwing a psychotic level fit which involved throwing things and slamming doors repeatedly. In a way I’m grateful to have the bad feeling as a sort of pre-warning that something bad is about to happen because if I hadn’t I’m fairly certain that a 3 foot tower fan would have been chucked at my face instead of at my wall. I think the feeling helps keep me out of harm’s way sometimes but I wish I could process the feeling better so I could listen to it but without it being so debilitating. Any advice?
On a separate note in regards to the stepbrother issue it’s caused me to start to lose faith in god as I moved from one house with an abusive male (my dad) to another house with and even worse abusive male (stepbrother). I don’t feel like I’ve attracted this into my life and I sometimes have a hard time processing that this could happen especially since I didn’t choose either of them. It just makes me have doubts about god sometimes because my mind just keeps thinking what were the odds of that happening, and I can certainly say by this point my trust in the male half of the species is forever gone. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to hide in my room all the time
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)
Anyway thanks for listening lots of love,
Nikki