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Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 3:52 pm
by Amigoo
Some Pi Are Square

Monkey see! Monkey doo!
... if monkey eats too many bananas.

If a pasture is greener on the other side
... just turn it over!

Early to bed and Early to rise,
... then Early starts a new day.

Once upon a time may occur twice,
... but each remains "once upon a time".

A Yes or No answer
... is best for a Yes or No question.

If it's all behind you
... you may be facing the wrong direction.

When a bear sits in the woods
... it doesn't climb a tree.

"Three sheets to the wind!" could happen
... when chased by a bear in the woods.

"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!"
... said Noah when the cruise ended.

The first day of the rest of your life
... may be tomorrow (if not today).

How would you know when Frosty the Snowman
... transitions to another identity?

When food is consumed at a picnic table
... is that a picnic?

Shovelers at the stable believe that it's snow
... when it's white and frosty.

The third horse to win the race
... is still the best of Show.

If you walk around a corner
... you may never get where you're going!

If it's not all it's cracked up to be
... it may need more cracks!

When are day and night the same day?
... Every day!

Why are fingers called digits
... if they were invented before numbers?

Could Frank Sinatra have said something stupid
... on a Smartphone?

If YouTube is like a flat tire
... you tube needs more air.

Why is a pen like a sword?
... They both make a point.

When is a cow called Bossie not a bull?
... When it's a cow!

If there's no pot at the end of the rainbow
... smoke the other end.

When you're at the bottom of the food chain
... everybody likes you!

If the light at the end of the tunnel is a train
... why is it called a light?

When it's your turn at a 4-way intersection
... why would you drive straight?

Is Moonset! a command
... to sit and stop mooning someone?

If no questions are asked
... can answers be given?

Skip the stew if the menu says "Stew!"
... since ew! may be the quality.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup
... if it dribbles down your chest.

Despite edible underwear for intimate rendezvous
... a condom is never a condiment.

The Ozone section of a sports stadium
... is where your hear the best Oh! s.

The No Passing section of a ballpark
... is where you don't get to first base.

The real reason "It takes two to tango"
... is that two feet are required.

If you're up to your analysis in alligators
... you're probably a successful psychiatrist.

Does "Have your cake and eat it too" mean
... that you don't finish eating it?

It's Ok for men to wear pantyhose
... but not because they wear panties.

The real reason it's called Coffee Break
... is because coffee is a diuretic.

You should learn all about rocket science
... to audition at NYC's Radio City Music Hall.

If Mickey and Minnie had a child, it would be called
... a Mouse.

The difference between "losing car key" and "losing car"
... is the key to this conundrum.

When the pot calls the kettle black
... the cook is slurping the sherry.

If a nappie covers a sesame seed bun
... the baby was changed at a picnic.

It's best to brush your teeth
... while you still have them.

Saving yourself for old age
... is better strategy when you're older.

The shortest distance between two points
... is to say nothing between them.

If everybody goes to bed at night
... what do they go to in the morning?

If two pizzas are made from the same dough
... are they siblings?

Always drive on the right side of the road
... according to road laws.

When is Uptown the same as Downtown?
... When you're in the town.

If there are digits on a keyboard
... is someone typing?

A paper towel is self-defining, but toilet paper
... is just paper until first used.

If someone has a noisy muffler
... did they eat beans?

One drinks 8 glasses of water a day
... because they don't eat water.

The Pooper always precedes the Scooper
... in the product advertising.

Humans can wear a head light, but how
... can they wear a tail light?

If prisoners can request a last meal
... why can't they request a first meal?

Ice cream is not "ice cream" until it's frozen
... so why is it "ice cream" after it melts?

If you're "asleep at the wheel"
... are you in the car or outside?

People who rest in peace
... don't snore.

If a cellphone had a 4- or 5G Whiz button
... would this give you permission to go?

Since "pre-op" occurs before the operation
... "op-post" should occur after the operation.

If the jury's decision was a "no-brainer"
... did they really decide?

In a binary bathroom, the morning paper is over
... but the evening paper is under.

In a vegetarian stadium
... are root veggies louder?

If your cup runneth under
... do you need a larger size?

When a finger nail and a toe nail marry
... do they both "nail it"?

If the child of two finger nails is late-term
... is the child called a "linger nail"?

Is "happily ever after" what happens
... after a postnuptial?

When a child keeps returning to the nest
... does it get frequent flyer miles?

Hammer:nail and screwdriver:screw, so
... what's the stick in stick:tape?

If you must sign on the dotted line
... must you separate your letters?

When letters race numbers
... how do numbers ever win?

Since a New Year lasts a year
... "Happy New Year!" is a daily greeting.

How do you know when you receive "snail mail"?
... When you receive it.

Which came first? SMTWTFS or JFMAMJJASOND?
... SMTWTFS, if you read left to right.

Some Pi are square ...
... so pass it a round.

Rod :lol:

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 5:13 pm
by happyrain
:santa: :joker: :king:

Image

Merry Christmas!

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 10:21 pm
by Geoff
Nice truck but I would not like to try and drive a powerful vehicle with enormously wide wheels on snow??? But a happy Christmas to all who read here, and hoping 2003 is a year we can deal with. 2002 has been very tough for many people, especially in Australia with enormous floods.

Geoff

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2022 1:08 am
by Amigoo
:sunflower: https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/dog-b ... fire-dogs/
"History of Dalmatians as Fire Dogs"

"According to Cheryl F. Steinmetz, the historian for the Dalmatian Club of America,
the breed’s evolution to fire dog began as early as the mid-1700s."

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2022 6:01 pm
by happyrain
It's my personal touch, because dalmatians have been in our family since my birth. This is a generic photo, but here are our dalmatians this Christmas day.

Dad is putting the bow on Juno(the girl dog) and Smudge is watching in the background. Those are my legs sorry LOL. We're opening their gifts- chicken dog treats of course. Here with the family.

Our celebration started Christmas Eve, and the dogs are dog tired. It went until about 1AM and we had children playing with the dogs all night. It was invigorating watching the children display so much joy and excitement simply playing with our dalmatians. But now they're pooped, even with gifts. Heheh.

PS-

Rod, I had to use a couple of your jokes at the party last night. :lol: Thank you~

Image
Merry Christmas everyone. = )
Throughout various periods of history, in many different civilizations and nations, dalmatians have been regarded as the guardians of faith, hope and love. The dalmatian can guide you through life if you ask it to, it is a true symbol of the spirit and its importance. Dalmatians are called the “Carrier of a Hundred Traditions.” The tradition of Dalmatians guarding weddings was so strong that it became a symbol for bridal processions.
https://churchgists.com/what-does-it-me ... atian-dog/

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2023 10:47 pm
by Sandy
Love this thread...the jokes, the truck, the legs and the Dalmatians. :santa:
It looks like a wonderful time was had by all.

Geoff, I am sorry about the flooding back home. When I left in May the weather people thought the results of the la nina year and the rain it brings would end in June. Looks like it didn't. :(
Hope you will be high and dry in Robertson.

xxSandy

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2023 8:16 pm
by Amigoo
:bana: For the stand-up comedy ...

After we lived together a year, she said "We're getting married!"

I said "I thought we WERE married!"

She said "No, you just had dessert first! Now it's time for the main course
- let me know when it's ready."

I said "And now more dessert?!"

She said "No, your just deserts." :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2023 4:17 pm
by Sandy
:roll :D :love
Thanks for the little chuckle to start the day.
xxSandy

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2023 2:31 pm
by Amigoo
Re: https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/09/asia/jap ... index.html
"A gibbon who lived alone in her cage had a baby. Japanese zookeepers finally know how"

:scratch: Try to guess how before reading this article. :roll:

Clue: "Where there's a Will there's a way."
... and Momo wanted to be a Mama? ;)

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2023 6:05 pm
by Welles
Rod,

That was a great collection. Im saving it.

Meanwhile, a couple of years ago I made a Pi Table.

Unfortunately I dan't figure out how to insert the pictures yet. I'll keep working on it.


:loves

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2023 5:35 pm
by Welles
Figured it out...

Image

Image

Image

:loves

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2023 10:18 pm
by Amigoo
:duh After all these decades, I just realized that the formula
proves what people banter ("Pi are square."):

A = π r²

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 2:38 pm
by Sandy
Rod---another smile from you...smiles are good for the heart. :lol:
...and Welles,
What a gorgeous Pi table! :sunflower:
...and there's that amazing bed you made some years ago! Is that your dog?

xxSandy

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2023 8:41 pm
by Amigoo
:lol: Humor in the dietary news ("eat this - not that") ...

"Since collagen is in the skin, bones, tendons, and ligaments of animals and fish,
then it makes sense to eat them if you want a diet rich in collagen." :roll:

:idea: If Dickens captured this advice ...
"Please sir, may I have another bone?"

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 8:59 am
by Amigoo
Re: https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/20/world/ro ... index.html

"Another possible use of the object was as a pestle for grinding or mixing materials for cooking, cosmetics, ointments or medicines, according to the study. A phallus-shaped pestle could symbolically add protection or potency to whatever was being prepared, with the act of grinding being the vehicle through which magic was believed to be activated ... could have started as pestle, for example, before being used as a sex object."

:idea: Suggests new version of Mae West joke for the culinary crowd:

"Is that a pestle in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2023 5:02 am
by Amigoo
Re: https://news.gallup.com/poll/470708/lgb ... teady.aspx
"U.S. LGBT Identification Steady at 7.2%"

:idea: Interesting preference for bisexual*, but probably assumes only male and female identities
in those relationships (no transgender, etc.). Also, gay (male/male) and lesbian (female/female)
probably assume only those relationships (no dalliance outside this). :oops:

* Preferred more by the younger of these generations: Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Baby boomers, Silent Generation.
Apparently, the oldest Silent Generation are those still living but mostly retired from sexual activity (and may like
to watch the movies, especially if the snacks are tasty). :roll

Rod ... :bike: ... "Been there! Done that!"
(or dreamed it ... or will add it to my Bucket List
once I get more information about it). :roll:

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:07 pm
by Amigoo
:lol: Professor English once tried to impress at the local bar ...

Taking off his eyeglasses and placing them on the bar, says he to bartender:
"Would you say 'I'm putting these on.' or 'I'm putting this on.' ?" :?

Says bartender: "I would say 'You're putting me on - I don't wear glasses!
... but I clean them many times a day!" ;)

Says Professor: "Now, YOU are putting me on!" :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:09 pm
by happyrain
Cool photo's Welles!

Just seeing them for the first time.

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 10:41 am
by Amigoo
:scratch: If AI were "Intelligence" ..
would it still be "Artificial"? :roll:

"Programmed Intelligence" ...
would be more accurate. ;)

Rod :lol:

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 4:42 pm
by Amigoo
:study: Re: https://biologos.org/podcast-episodes/c ... nd-science
"ChatGPT | AI on Faith and Science"

"Because ChatGPT has the whole internet at its fingertips, it’s not uninformed in the sense of not having access to facts. But rather, it doesn’t really know anything about those facts. So when I got to interviewing it, I didn’t want to ask 'What do you think about science and religion, or about God’s relationship to the natural world?', but instead went the direction of asking it to tell me what other people think about those things."

:idea: This suggests that when ChatGPT "thinks" it is just synthesizing how other people think about those things. And this suggests that, since language models have human origination (with continuing modification by AI or humans), the Best of AI will be the world's preferred AI authority. In product marketing this would translate as, for example, "9 of 10 AI Reviewers agree that Fanny's Pork Butt is lab-created meat."

:study: Re: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions ... king-tech/
"How to reduce the risks from AI’s original sin"

"New artificial intelligence tools promise to unleash a wave of innovation. Unchecked, these same tools threaten to swamp us with misinformation and falsehoods. ChatGPT, the most popular of the Generative AI tools, automates creation of human-level writing. It does so by predicting the most likely thing that a human being would have written next in an any given situation. The results — as numerous breathless commentators will attest — are impressive, from credible-sounding academic texts to Shakespearean sonnets generated from just short prompts written in plain English."

"But they’re only as good as the material they have to work with. These platforms extrapolate from the huge corpus of text that has been uploaded to the internet over the past few decades. Given what humanity has actually been writing about in those years, this input data can trigger troubling output ... same question posed twice can elicit two radically different answers, articulated in an equally confident tone."

:idea: Long story short ...

Articles like these inform that the weaknesses - even threats - of AI are already well known! And if our human intelligence filtering keeps working as designed, AI will likely get better (at least, less problematic). However, many AI sources (tools) will likely compete, requiring humans to choose their preferred sources of information. Just like today's internet-sourced news 'n views! :roll:

:scratch: Best guess: When AI platforms get aggressive in their competition humans should step aside, lest they become collateral damage.


:study: On the other other hand ...

Re: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech ... atGPT.html

"ChatGPT could help scammers write perfect phishing emails ... Cybersecurity company warns that criminals are turning to AI tools such as ChatGPT to create 'lures' to rob victims ... ChatGPT’s ability to generate accurate content means it can effectively impersonate anyone" :o

Note: "impersonate anyone" may require that a person has posted sufficient content on the internet to be AI-identified.


Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 1:02 am
by Amigoo
Re: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech ... EASED.html
"Michelangelo's David would look VERY different if it was sculpted today!"

"Scientists ... found that the depictions have got bigger over time". :o

:scratch: Apparently, the Mediterranean Diet is good for performance
but not for presentation of a marble undercarriage. :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2023 5:35 pm
by Amigoo
Re: https://www.theverge.com/2023/2/7/23587 ... earch-bing

"After six years of peace, (Microsoft and Google) are on course to butt heads again over the future of artificial intelligence."

:lol: Which reminds of a true story ...
At a family gathering, grandma asked (without pause) her two grandsons how they banged heads while playing:
"What did you do? Butt heads?" A pregnant pause would have helped, but grandmas are past that time. :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2023 4:35 pm
by Amigoo
:sunny: Morning meditation on "This is as good as it gets!" ...
(song on phone while waiting for customer support)

:scratch: But what's "it"? Some preceding letters ...
One letter?: B, F, H, K, L, N, P, S, T, W, Z
Two letters?: BA, FL, SH, SL, SU, ...

:idea: Two letters look interesting! :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2023 7:20 pm
by Amigoo
Re: https://www.brighteon.com/
(search for: "Egg Song - enjoy")

:idea: Would make a good ring tone for cell phone
... or alarm clock wakeup sound. :roll:

Rod :)

Re: Ho! Ho! Ho?

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2023 6:30 pm
by Amigoo
:lol: OMG! Might be true!

Neogenderosis - Dis-ease resulting from undesired gender transition,
a condition sufferable by both transitioner and family/friends. :roll:

Rod :)