negative thoughts towards someone

[happyrain]

hey guys! i was curious,
the other day i was having lunch with my dad and encountered someone that felt really slow. i asked dad if he seemed off? he was pretending like nothing was wrong but it was just awkward... i made a pretty negative comment about him after we left calling this guy the village idiot. at the time i thought it was a clever summary of what we just witnessed, even chuckled...

well later that night my dad turned it on me and said i was sounding a lot like the village idiot and today i had a moment where being perceived as dumb was quickly lived again not being quick enough for someone, whatever.

so a bit of quick karma but really i just felt like i was an awful person for giving into those thoughts and expressing them to my dad. i just had the urge... i know we all have them though and while this may seem trivial i'm curious how you guys handle your negative thoughts towards others? it's so easy to get caught up some days... i'm definitely no angel

i feel kinda bad for being mean- out of character really

DOH

[aidebynature]

Well..We are just human. We are certainly not perfect.

Someone in my family has no idea about personal boundaries. I am a tired mom, and this person often shows up at the door late at night, often close to midnight, despite the fact I spent time with them during the day. By this time, my kid awakes and I'm very annoyed, and exhausted from my day. I just want to go to bed at midnight. I have called this person a names too ( not to his face), when it was late and I saw the car lights flood the front yard at mightnight. I doubt my dad thought I was very nice and I kinda regret it. But I like my peace at midnight, I don't want guests.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what makes humans say bad things about eachother to eachother. And one conclusion is, humans need to be understood by someone close to you, to feel part of a unity. And we have moments of weakness where we just can't hold in our frustration and negativity. I think, when we are younger, it's even harder to stay grounded and control our emotions. But as we mature, we grow and get more practice and understand what kind of person we want to be and learn to act accordingly. Atleast, that's how I feel about it.

[Sandy]

I think this is a fair assessment aidebynature...

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what makes humans say bad things about eachother to eachother. And one conclusion is, humans need to be understood by someone close to you, to feel part of a unity.

You see this frequently in the political climate of this time too. It is easy to fall into the "them and us mentality... all that think like "us" (with us being oneself, and all that think, like "them." Yet in reality we are so much more then one teeny tiny aspect...and whew I need to remind myself of that... and not get caught up in drama. Easy to do when attacked I suppose but that is a whole other "kettle of fish"

I wonder if it would help if we remember that "thoughts travel." The people that pull out of us an unfavorable emotion, If we look even a little deeper at the person's experiences in the day we might see what qualified their actions. Perhaps the person is new to the job, been recently chewed out by the boss, not feeling well, worried about someone or a situation, or just had a sad or disturbing experience in personal life. I suppose I am just thinking out loud for my own benefit because this is an area I can work on... but perhaps seeing past the physical facade.... see those we encounter as a brother or sister... It is hardest for me to envisage this when someone is rude or uncaring. Oh boy! If I could only see them as the baby they once were...babies all want to be loved, fed changed etc.. but love is a dominating factor. We want all little babies to be happy and succeed, have everything they could possibly need to be safe and happy. Adults are just those little babies in the process of growing up in the physical and in spirit.

I am glad you bought this up Eric as I have needed to really spend some personal time on this subject.
xxSandy

[happyrain]

Thank you both for your replies. You're right, I suppose I just wanted to relate on some level with my Father during our time together however immature it was of me to do so at the expense of another. Past the superficial level of it all.... I actually believe Sandy, you hit the nail on the head here...

If we look even a little deeper at the person's experiences in the day we might see what qualified their actions. Perhaps the person is new to the job, been recently chewed out by the boss, not feeling well, worried about someone or a situation, or just had a sad or disturbing experience in personal life.

He seemed new to his job. Probably gets chewed out and wasn't feeling well. I should have shown more sympathy in the moment. It's crazy... I'm venturing on a limb since being empathetic isn't my strongest suit.. But I believe Sandy you were easily able to describe what isn't so easy for someone else to see since someone else, like myself, is living in their own head... Should I have been mature enough to recognize this fact, I could have tried to alleviate this persons stress and cause less drama in both of our lives, even it was for just a moment... God forbid this person is as critical as I am and they were able to pick up on the extra, unnecessary tension

This topic may seem so petty to others but I think, maybe focusing less on another persons negative emotions also alleviates your own drama...

Seems for me the lesson is in forgiveness with it starting right here- to forgive myself first and foremost... Not just this experience but many other aspects of my life...

One day you think you got it figured out then you get too comfortable and start messing it all up...

Anyways, thanks again guys. Hope y'all are having a good one.

[Sandy]

hey Eric,
You wrote:

One day you think you got it figured out then you get too comfortable and start messing it all up...

I hear you bro and I am smiling because my next step would be to start beating up on my inner child... which we were just talking about on another thread. Let's continue in love and acceptance of ourselves, eh? We are just doing the best we can in the moment.

You know, you don't have to wait to make it up to the fellow at the restaurant. Send him kindness, understanding and compassion all tied up with a loving spiritual energy string. Remember thoughts good and bad travel... So your strong desire to make it right and asking for blessings for the dear soul will help him at some level. Sharing good energy will help you too.

xxSandy

[RunningScroll]

Hi All

What I've noticed at my work place is that a there is always a time when one of us is being blamed or complained about - no one is left out - and this is usually done behind their back, in a comment like 'f-ing him or f-ing her', I'm sure I've been the focus before. This is an example of the blame game at work. But funnily, it seems, what goes around comes around, could be happening here. I guess my conclusion is that everyone is annoying to someone sometimes. At work it is often just because of mistakes or an incidence of poor judgement. I have to catch myself from getting involved in these games, and sometimes I fail. Almost always, there is some kind of universe or inner reaction, to show that I have degraded myself - and Jesusonian dignity - by doing so. Being chided for deliberate wrong-doing or dishonest behaviour is another story. Funnily I have found that the innocent owning of a mistake usually disarms the negative charge towards it, or the 'he's alright' comment in the face of the blame game, can also invalidate it. For of course, usually it's true and they're just venting unreasonably.

Take care brothers and sisters,
Azura