The End of My old life of Addiction and my CTA!

[GlobalNonCompliance]

A couple days ago I gave up smoking my favorite abused substance which I have let ruin the start of my young life, only to have my *insert drug here* smoking buddy call me this evening an hour after I had passed out to go chill and smoke or whatever, but oh guess what time it was when I hung up the phone about to call my dealer, yep 11:11. I have had several awakenings, to many to count, and many many 11:11 synchronicities have happened in my life, only to go back to my ways of debauchery and apathy. I figured the spirits and benevolents that be gave up on me, but no I still have hope now! Its amazing when your going through another awakening, realizing your one messed my drug abusing, angry young kid who lives in a virtually crafted reality of ESCAPISM and APATHY and you get another call to action like what I just experience, I do hope they keep coming as signs of support and love. My main support group is invisible but I know I'm being watched over, in the same way we all are, if you ask.


I would suggest to anybody going through addiction even through the eyes of somebody you love and hold dear to yourself that you simply ask for help from the benevolents, to let you know that you ARE special and unique, that whatever you plight of fancy is, it matters to somebody up and out there in the cosmos and order! God the drug I'm giving up is hardly considered addictive I cannot image what it must be like to have let something much more sinister perolate into your life, albiet marijuana isn't my own disfuntion, its the block in the flood gates of my stuffed up emotional center, and man do I feel cleared out after only a few days.

May light, love and happiness be infused into everybodys center, and may we all find what matters most to us before the fall of this civilization and we begin anew!

[Geoff]

Dear GNC,

Welcome. I am sure we will all be rooting for you as you seek to find a new clean path thru life.

love,
Geoff

[Petra Wilson]

Hello and welcome GNC, nice to have you here and sharing so bluntly your experiences.

Love, Petra

[LolaandLight]

Welcome, welcome, welcome!!!!!!

Congratulations of giving up your method of escape. They don't call it wacky weed for nothing. I never understood how folks could stand the stuff. I tried it, I enhaled, and I thought it was horrible. Stay in touch with us!

[Sandy]

Welcome GlobalNonCompliance...
I hope your own journey inspires others who are struggling with the same problems with addiction and "stuffed up emotional centers." ( I love the way you phrased that) While I have not had the same "stuffing" I have found that many things such as past experiences, fears, worries, even the way we feel about self can also effective block us. I am so glad for you!... happy that you are experiencing a new sense of freedom and clarity. Well done!
Love,
Sandy

[Daddy - O]

Welcome GNC,

I wish you strength and energy as you continue this battle. You will find a lot of support here.

love,
Daddy - O

[MichelleP]

A substance addiction is both emotional and physical. Please keep fighting to beat the addiction. It will be well worth it.

Love,
Michelle

[GlobalNonCompliance]

I appreciate all the moral support, haven't looked back yet albeit time will tell. Having a clear guilt free consciousness, and an unclouded center is certainly what I look forward to operating on. I tell myself that in the past 5 years of living in my parents basement I have simply been doing a social experiment on escapism and virtual crafted reality, which my young mind immediately wants to jump to the conspiracy and mexaentertaimentvideogamecointelprocomplex lol, as apposed to the military industrial complex. Either way some of my bondage is over, now I have to get out of my other addictions, mainly gaming and internet addiction. But truly I had let myself get sucked into misery as many gamers and layabouts have embraced, in fact maybe I'll write my thesis on it if I ever get back to school.

And I don't know how I can fail with all yall rooting for me, ofc you do things for yourself first, then for those you care about, luckily I'm young enough that I quite expect to grow out of my me me me ego drama eventually.

Thank you all for your well-wishes, I hope to keep things very real from now one.
May we all have the willpower and determination to sacrifice our bodily addictions and pleasures for some real substance of the spirit

[Geoff]

May we all have the willpower and determination to sacrifice our bodily addictions and pleasures for some real substance of the spirit

Amen to good solid SOUL food.

love,
Geoff

[GlobalNonCompliance]

So, I believe it's been 2 weeks, give or take a couple days. My therapist is certainly happy with me, no more lying to myself, and those who care bout me, maybe even soon I'll be able to take the outta my mouth!
Seems like once you admit one of your problems, you start to think maybe its time to admit some other ones as well! Been about a week since I started working on my other problem which I'll keep to myself for the time being, no its not more substance abuse thankfully, its something that is maybe even more ingrained in my psyche than the tweed.

Anyway I know you can't really consider posting in a forum "real" support, but I would expect the people here would be about as supportive as it gets, and together with weekly therapy I think I'll be aight! Anyway I had an original quote from last week that I thought I'd share.

There's now a three-legged stool under my butt, holding me up, keeping me from the dirty waters of addiction. My two legs and the third leg of the divine. Accept your flaws, and ask for help to overcome!

[Geoff]

Dear GNC,

Well done. It can only get easier from now on. The angels will be rooting for you.

love,
Geoff

[NikkiDOll0812]

How did you succeed at giving up smoking? I have to quit? Do you recommend chantix?

[Geoff]

Dear Nikki,

I approved this with reservations. Don't want this to turn into a "how to quit" forum, but hopefully you have other reasons for being here too?

love,
Geoff

[GlobalNonCompliance]

nikki I gave up smoking 420, not cig's, and some of you may laugh, but to me it was deeply emotionally / habitually addicting, and I"M FREEEEE! Never got addicted to cigs, tried, failed they make me sick. Anyway I would never recommend ANY drug, other than good food, good air, and self-determination, I ask you DO YOU LIKE BEING A LAB RAT?
Anyway I would recommend those e-cigarettes, they would make a good replacement (albiet cold turkey is better,) apparently the e-cigs are much better for you and those whom enhale your second hand smoke, so go to them first, then quite all together cause they are pretty expensive possibly. Anyway you gotta quite for yourself girl, and the impact your life will make upon the world! Banana dance

goodluck with the smokes, smoking anything, even catnip is disgusting, even rollies I hate although tabacco used in a group as a soul-reliever and way to chill out (like the indians did) I could see used healthifully, course we live in a time when nothing like that could happen again, go cold turkey hun.

[MichelleP]

Hi Nikki,

There are many aids on the market to help one quit smoking. I personally tried a number of things that did not initially work, hypnosis, laser, accupuncture but I also know a bunch of people who those things did work for. In the end, however, I did resort to the Chantrix and I am happy to say it worked. A word of caution though, the drug does seem to heighten whatever mood you are in at this point in your life. So if you are happy you will likely feel even more happy but if you are prone to depression I would only advise taking the Chantrix under a doctors close care. And I would recommend immediately stopping if you sense any adverse reaction to it. But for me it did work and helped me to successfully break my addiction and I can't tell you how happy I am to be free. Best of luck to you.

Love,
Michelle

[valorousflame777]

For what it's worth, What did I do when I was trying to get my life back? I did whatever I felt like doing at the moment BESIDES what I was trying to quit. Staying in bed sleeping with the five kitties piled around me got old as soon as I caught up on sleep. One Sunday I got up at around 11:00 a.m., I happened to peek out the black-out curtains and saw what a gorgeous day it was, and I had a weeklong bus pass loaded onto my TAP (transit access pass) card, so I got up, got dressed and walked to the bus stop...about an hour later, I found myself at Santa Monica pier. There was a lady selling bottled water for a dollar, so I bought two and loaded them into the black hole called my purse. I walked onto the pier, thankfully about as short as my attention span and desire to walk anywhere. I walked to the end of the pier and back, trying to find a place where I could eat for five bucks. Pizza Hut won. While I was eating a big slice with pepperoni, I watched the families zooming around on the roller coaster and the ferris wheel. Only five bucks a ride. Within a half hour was whirling high up in the sky, 50 feet above the crashing ocean waves. I could see at least 100 miles in either direction, it was amazing how many people were out enjoying the greatest place on the planet: SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA ON A GORGEOUS, PERFECT JULY DAY!!

I started singing to myself all those totally cool old surf songs, most notably "CATCH A WAVE, CATCH A WAVE, AND YOU'LL BE SITTIN' ON TOP OF THE WOOOORLD!!"

Not just a fad cause it's been going on so long (catch a wave, catch a wave)
All the surfers going strong
They said it wouldn't last too long
They'll eat their words with a fork and spoon
And watch 'em they'll hit the road and all be surfin' soon
And when they catch a wave they'll be sittin' on top of the world!!!

I thought to myself, if I were still doing "THAT," I'd be sitting inside behind the blackout curtains, pooff-pooff-pooffing away, telling myself that the sun is just too strong for my fish-belly-white skin to be exposed to!!!

BTW, true Beach Boy fans, Al Jardine has a great new album with a really wonderful R&B version of Help Me, Rhonda on it...heard it on Coast-To-Coast with George Noory!

[luvinlife]

Great post, Val! I am a beach lover myself. I feel very spiritual when I'm at the ocean (which living in South Florida, I'm very lucky to be able to go there every day)!

Love, Clare

[valorousflame777]

Thanks, Clare. I'm retiring to Daytona Beach, Florida. Mom's leaving me the condo in Port Orange. It will be paid for by the time I get there, so all my pension money will be spent buying a new Harley trike, and traveling down under to visit George.

[Sandy]

Hello Valarie,
You do have the most wonderful way with words...very descriptive. I could almost feel the Pacific breeze on my face while reading your post. Your post is a sure fire cure for what emotionally ails ya... So I'm gonna get out there and do what I feel like doing today!
Love,
Sandy

[luvinlife]

Yes, Sandy! Especially since you posted that at 11:11!

Love, Clare

[Sandy]

Yes, Sandy! Especially since you posted that at 11:11!
Love, Clare

I didn't notice that as it doesn't show up that way on this end (3:11) ...hmmm... so that one must have been for you Clare.
Love,
Sandy