lost...

kahlil · Post by **kahlil** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:09 pm

I have always been a people person, maybe not the loudest in the room, but always of a deeply understanding nature. And whilst I hate the notion of religion I do believe in God as an entity that envelops the universe we live in, as the light, the lifegiver if you will.
Those who know me, i'm a young white male, I push the boundaries of my age, I push the boundaries of my existence and live by the rule that I jump into the wind and land where it takes me.

I have experienced many, what u could call psychic experiences. I have had people come to me in dreams to let me know of their passing. Even when I live on the other side of the world.

I have been seeing 1111 in many different ways for many years now and despite the fact I have let myself become part of the materialistic way of thinking for the past few years I've reached a point in my life where I have, for a reason unbeknown to me, given myself freedom to travel my own path.

I want to embrace the spiritual side of me, but I live in a way that I feel I cannot fully explore the possibilities of these things that attract my attention, and make for such good story telling during drunken conversation with friends. For me these are not stories they are experiences.

I feel very alone with this, I would like to do good in the world, If there is a message being sent that I am noticing but not understanding then I want to explore it. But I must admit I am scared to venture into what could possibly be a dark realm from past experience.

Can someone please tell me, how can I make a first step past acknowledging the immense coincidences I experience on a daily basis and living with memories that I cannot fully explain?

For some reason I feel like I should be finding a person to channel these messages but I'm worried about being conned by a true 'psychic' and have never dared risk my integrity.

How does a young man like me, with all the usual quirks and interests a young man has, explore the realms of what may possibly be what others consider crazy? I dont want to journey alone, and my mind is too full of noise to meditate.

I am generation Y, as much as I hate the term, yet I feel a thousand years older than I physically am.

Where do you start?????????????????????????????????????????????????

I want to wake up but don't know how.....this is my current state of mind. Pass it off as whatever, looks almost like a blog, but I don't think these kind of questions can truly be asked without context.

Thanks for listening. I often write these things out but get afraid to post them.......lets take a step...

blue nova · Post by **blue nova** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:17 pm

hello kahlil welcome to the site

i suggest meditation....

(((Hugs)))
anne

blue nova · Post by **blue nova** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:19 pm

my mind is too full of noise to meditate.

as with many people....same with me. i learned how to calm the noise down.

Post by **Sandy** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:56 pm

Hello kahlil,
Welcome to the 11:11 board, a home away from home where you will always have caring friends to listen to whatever is close in your heart. From your post you sound like you have had a wealth of unexplained experiences over the year. You need a place to start.

Well how about at the beginning. There is no rush to become what you may envisage, a deeply spiritual person. Small steps are often the best way, and then little by little as you are inwardly led, your path will grow in leaps and bounds and you will find yourself understanding and enjoying some of the most amazing things. Since you are still just a little fearful and have a chattery mind (me too....sigh) maybe something akin to becoming familar with ideas as they are tossed about, sharing experiences with others, and reading stimulating books could be a place to start.. Meditation is absolutely wonderful and feeds all areas of your body and soul. It can be so many things...for some it is a deep appreciation of the natural world. Others find spiritual stimulas by creating music...writing or painting and drawing (Here is a recent thread you may find interesting. It is about finding a peaceful place within by coloring Mandalas... ( thread purged) )

All of these activities are a place to start, to learn how to quiet your insides so that you can begin to hear and feel the delicate voice of God as it moves through you and to contribute in a form of two way communication, a sort of partnership with our angels, guides, and midwayer friend. (just to name a few)

In my opinion though, the simplist way to begin a higher spiritual path is to love. That in itself leads to deeper and ever increasing spiritual awareness. There is nothing more important or more powerful then that one little word in changing our insides and those around us...

In many ways each of our journeys are very unique and individualistic. What rings true for one may not for another or perhaps, our spiritual life paths may take different directions. Irregardless, each of us find ourselves at the same point eventually... God... but each arriving in the most wonderous of ways.

I hope you will visit the board often and continue to be a part of our friendly community. Welcome kahill
Love,
Sandy

kahlil · Post by **kahlil** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 1:15 pm

Thankyou for even just a few positive responses so quickly. Kahlil I take from Kahlil Gibran, and home away from home rings true as very early on in life I left my home country and all those close to me and followed love across the world, unfortunately after 7 years I found it stifled my soul and took away the part of me that wondered about the ever more.

It's been 6months since I stripped my life back to nothing but me, throughout the entire time I have had the vision of focusing on my soul, unfortunately so far I have only found a want to escape from my thoughts.

I guess I'm getting ready to listen to them. And also work out which ones are mine and acknowledge those that I feel are in response to the way I feel about what is really going on in this world.

As I say, I am far from religious, extremely far. But vibrations, energy, string theory, that is what I lean my agnostic beliefs towards. The G-O-D word scares me too, it's not me at all. But there is no denying that forces beyond our own vision are present in everyday life and I can't shrug off this person(s) who consistently enter the room whilst I am alone.

My hair stands on end when I feel a presence, and today it's 43 degrees outside.

I will try this meditation, but as a musician I truly do find it hard to switch off the noise in my mind. I guess you never know until you try....

Post by **nasra1996** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:25 pm

Welcome Kahlil......

Love Sarah

SheraX · Post by **SheraX** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 3:35 pm

Welcome,

It will all come,just don't give up. Lots of prayer always works too!

blue nova · Post by **blue nova** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:09 pm

kahlil wrote:

unfortunately so far I have only found a want to escape from my thoughts.

could you elaborate a little ?....i do not see it as unfortunate

as a musician

do you play an instrument ?

MichelleP · Post by **MichelleP** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:38 pm

Hello Kahil,

I am not sure where you live but in the States there are spiritual centers that have classes and stuff for people who are more spiritually minded then religious. You could still maintain your normal life and take a night or two to join one of the classes or groups they offer. Take a look in your local phone book and see if you can find such a place. It might be a good outlet for you.

Love,
Michelle

kahlil · Post by **kahlil** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:02 pm

Well in regards to escaping my own thoughts, I mean more through substance abuse, not to any extreme extent but enough to mean that most minutes outside of working hours were not sober ones and most at work are slowly recovering from the things I was/am doing to my body.

Every night I aim for oblivion. This is not a path I wish to continue down as I can see the spiral and I like to think im not stupid enough to let that happen, i've come too far to do that now. Everyone has weak moments I guess, I'm trying not to resent myself too much for it.

Music is my life and with the way that I have been living lately it's been more about the sex and drugs instead of the rock and roll. Strangely I sing in a death metal band, not sure what the attraction is there, but I love music with energy and passion.

The coincidences for me are getting a lot stronger and people around me are starting to notice them too. I have explained to them that it's just something that seems to follow me around but to have a number of people notice has given me more encouragement to find out what it's all about.

I live in Australia now so I dare say there will be some sort of classes I can attend to help me relax. Especially as the area I live in is quite bohemian to say the least.

I think first step is straight edge.....so at least I can focus my mind if needs be, then I will give this all a serious crack and let you know what I find.

Last night all I thought about was my breathing, in and out, but in all honesty it made me fall asleep very quickly. At least I found it worked though and I could kind of wash away a lot of negative thoughts floating around.

Thanks again kids. I'm kind of alone over here in this and I appreciate that people are willing to help me find some sort of positive spiritual direction even from so far away.

Post by **Geoff** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:05 pm

Dear kahlil,

Well a few of us live here too, but its a big country.

You ask some penetrating questions. So its not easy to give you an exact answer. I think how to start is about facing the right direction first. Then starting the journey, without any rush, cause its the journey that's important, not the destination.

So how do you face the right direction? That's a question asked many times, and some folks spend their whole lives in circles.

First learn to trust, I think. You do that KNOWING the universe is benevolent. For example religion. I happen to agree, but I have no fear of religion. I don't have to run from it. I can even walk along with them. Only I think many of them are poor company, but they are all children of the same creator.

Then your addictions. Big deal really. At a few levels. Gotta fix that because you can't journey anywhere good with that. Once you are in shape, and trusting, you will walk in the right direction. It just happens.

love,
Geoff.

Celtac · Post by **Celtac** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:08 pm

Dear Kahlil,

Thanks for sharing your story.

I can understand the frustration you must have regarding your experiences, which I have to some extent experienced myself up to a month ago.
There comes a time when you need to step away from yourself for a while and try to identify the true person as you turn to face the mirror. Your active life places you in a position where you may have no option to express your true nature, as people may think that you are not in line with reality. You may feel that you may become targeted and alienated due to your experiences and events, where the real truth is that you should follow that basic instinct in your soul to do the right thing.
I know from personal experience that the shadow of doubt that resides within should be overcome before we can step in to the path we have waiting for us. Once the anxiety is overcome, the mind becomes free of chaos, and we can explore the gifts God gave us so that we can live our lives the right way.
I only wish that everyone had the ability to instantly understand the answer to their each individual path, but unfortunately we must discover them for ourselves. You could almost say that we need to work for our supper, but WOW it must be some banquet at the table once we reach there.
My thoughts are with you Kahlil, and very much hope that you find your path and eventually the understanding of all your questions.

Warmest Regards,

David (Celtac)

~*Star_Struck*~ · Post by **~*Star_Struck*~** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:20 am

Welcome Kahlil!

Love
Star

Post by **Sandy** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:15 am

Hello Kahlil,
You wrote:

Last night all I thought about was my breathing, in and out, but in all honesty it made me fall asleep very quickly. At least I found it worked though and I could kind of wash away a lot of negative thoughts floating around.

That's great, even the falling asleep part. Many people often fall asleep in the beginning...But even while asleep, healing is occurring. Your desire and intent is known and it is all good working towards what you desire.

Please consider Geoff's post very carefully. If your "vehicle" is in a state of neglect it can be more difficult to reach your destination.
Love,
Sandy