something i want to share
Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:12 am
i feel that i get too involved in personal matters at time's- i guess that's what makes it ironic, seeing as it is a personal matter- something that needs to be looked at- and yet here i am saying i feel that i put myself further away then what is necessary.
it was and still is quite the conundrum.
sometimes i feel that i get lost within trying to find myself-
perhaps feelings of being loss can serve as a source to some form of being, "off-balance"
this much is for sure. with uncertainty comes great confusion... when this happens--> it's like i'm falling onto different, never-ending thoughts.
my mind might take a situation and create more then what is necessary- and then-> i am willingly pulling myself into whatever emotions that might be derived from such(whether this acknowledgment is conscious or not), the point being it is all self-created.
i'm not here to say this is good or bad, but i believe during times of depression- this mentality can be harmful to self. it's easier to manifest feelings of sadness, etc.
it is only recently- where i want to take a step back and get real. i want to be able to see things without rooting onto the subject. i feel that to do so would require a sense of detachment from it all- however,
sometimes i question this motif for ethical reasons. (i wonder if remaining detached for too long makes it easier to be deemed as portraying a, "heart-less" persona)
all of this boils down to mere blueprints towards the creation of who i am or who i want to be. when we see these things, we have a choice.
wanting to slow down... wanting to feel calmness...
i'm going to stop trying to be and just be.
it's not hard really, but my restlessness is a cause of the difficulty.
this is what i've been wanting to share with you all--
it's something my father told me late christmas eve/early christmas morning-
we had been talking outside,
right under the stars- sitting next to a warm fire...
:}.
sorry, enjoying that moment once more.
anyways-
he told me, "time is a test."
this saying has been presented to on numerous occasions.
what's real interesting is,
at specific time's i am finding myself looking back on things i might have remembered doing, seeing, writing, or researching- and it is then when something revealing happens, and it is then when i am reminded of what my father told me.
for example,
if it is something i had written a while ago. the meaning may have been different then the meaning i get from it now- or,
the meaning might be the same- but i would not have seen it on such a personal level until now. it's funny because in the beginning i don't really know why i am writing it- i just am... never once did i think: "oh hey, about a year from now i will stumble across this again and find some hidden meaning." it just doesn't work like that.
the universe works in mysterious ways.
if it is true that every thought has potential- that these, personal- yet meaningful epiphanies come by our way every now and again- the only thing distorting our vision is time.
if you're ever unsure about something you might be doing, remember to keep your eye's open
and remember that time, is a test.
just keep that in mind and see where you take you.
it's helped me and i am sharing this in hope's that you become impacted.
i hope you guys enjoyed the read
have a great day :}
just about to go to sleep and wanted to get that off my chest before doing so.
until then,
love.
it was and still is quite the conundrum.
sometimes i feel that i get lost within trying to find myself-
perhaps feelings of being loss can serve as a source to some form of being, "off-balance"
this much is for sure. with uncertainty comes great confusion... when this happens--> it's like i'm falling onto different, never-ending thoughts.
my mind might take a situation and create more then what is necessary- and then-> i am willingly pulling myself into whatever emotions that might be derived from such(whether this acknowledgment is conscious or not), the point being it is all self-created.
i'm not here to say this is good or bad, but i believe during times of depression- this mentality can be harmful to self. it's easier to manifest feelings of sadness, etc.
it is only recently- where i want to take a step back and get real. i want to be able to see things without rooting onto the subject. i feel that to do so would require a sense of detachment from it all- however,
sometimes i question this motif for ethical reasons. (i wonder if remaining detached for too long makes it easier to be deemed as portraying a, "heart-less" persona)
all of this boils down to mere blueprints towards the creation of who i am or who i want to be. when we see these things, we have a choice.
wanting to slow down... wanting to feel calmness...
i'm going to stop trying to be and just be.
it's not hard really, but my restlessness is a cause of the difficulty.
this is what i've been wanting to share with you all--
it's something my father told me late christmas eve/early christmas morning-
we had been talking outside,
right under the stars- sitting next to a warm fire...
:}.
sorry, enjoying that moment once more.
anyways-
he told me, "time is a test."
this saying has been presented to on numerous occasions.
what's real interesting is,
at specific time's i am finding myself looking back on things i might have remembered doing, seeing, writing, or researching- and it is then when something revealing happens, and it is then when i am reminded of what my father told me.
for example,
if it is something i had written a while ago. the meaning may have been different then the meaning i get from it now- or,
the meaning might be the same- but i would not have seen it on such a personal level until now. it's funny because in the beginning i don't really know why i am writing it- i just am... never once did i think: "oh hey, about a year from now i will stumble across this again and find some hidden meaning." it just doesn't work like that.
the universe works in mysterious ways.
if it is true that every thought has potential- that these, personal- yet meaningful epiphanies come by our way every now and again- the only thing distorting our vision is time.
if you're ever unsure about something you might be doing, remember to keep your eye's open
and remember that time, is a test.
just keep that in mind and see where you take you.
it's helped me and i am sharing this in hope's that you become impacted.
i hope you guys enjoyed the read
have a great day :}
just about to go to sleep and wanted to get that off my chest before doing so.
until then,
love.