Falling asleep when it comes time to heal.

[Rhonda]

Hello Everyone,

Thank you so much for the outpouring of Love and good vibes. I'm sending them back to all.
Regarding Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I know what you mean. I never heard about it before either. In one of the pictures I viewed there was a quote, Inflammatory Breast Cancer has no lumps of any kind. Not in the breast itself nor in any of the adenoids around the area. That was the final seal for me. That's why I went immediately after work to the emergency room.

It started with just a small annoying itch on my breast. The fabric of my shirt would rub against my breast when I didn't wear my bra. It was really bugging me. Then one day I broke out in a rash, not only on my breast but my legs also. I had it for about six months. I couldn't get rid of it. I asked friends, they kept saying things like scabies, poison ivy etc. I was besides myself. I was trying so hard not to scratch. One day at my Zumba exercise class, the instructor said that I needed to scratch the rash because it was oozing some discharge. So, at home, I took a wash cloth and put hydrogen peroxide on it and scratch the heck out of my legs and my breast. After doing that continuously everyday twice a day the rash on my legs went away. The rash on my breast stayed. That is why I didn't think it was anything other than a rash. Now I'm not sure. Nothing has worked, and the rash persists, two and a half years later. I was going to tell my doctor about it in a few weeks when I went in for my annual appointment.

I still have hopes that it is just a stubborn rash. Anyway. Thanks girls, and if you have any kind of thing that won't go away. Don't wait, get it check out.

Love and hugs, Rhonda

[Sandy]

Hey Rhonda,
I'm keeping a good thought for you and hoping that this does turn out to be just a stubborn rash, one, of course, that the doctors can remedy in no time flat.
That Zumba looks like a lot of fun! I bet it is especially fun doing it with a group. I have seen the commercial for buying the program on TV. Even briefly considered it. But, unfortunately, I have two left feet where dancing type stuff is concerned and suspect I would injure myself. I just heard... "practice makes perfect." in my head.
Love,
Sandy

[Rhonda]

Hello Everyone,

Just a quick update. Since my last post and since I was put on the healing list, the pain has gone way down, the incessant itching has mostly stopped, it is just a minor annoyance now. The blotchyness is clearing up, and I'm feeling much better. (Yes, I started back with the Akashic meditation and yes, I do fall asleep. Ha Ha.)

I have not heard from the Cleveland Clinic to be pro-rated yet so I can get an appointment to see the specialist. I'm wondering why. (Humm I wonder about the coincidence.)

I have called and told them about the potential Inflammatory Breast Cancer. My guess is that the people who pro-rate don't understand the aggressive nature of this type of cancer. It is a type of cancer that most women, once diagnosed don't survive from. That's is because it is misdiagnosed most of the time. If you have any discoloration or misshape or anything funny about one breast. Don't feel embarrassed. Talk to the doctor but ask them about Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Like I said this is not a well known cancer. The main thing is to get diagnosed.

On that note I have to get back to work. Hope all have a great day. Love to all and good by given back. Thanks and Grateful. Rhonda

[sammy]

That is some very encouraging news Rhonda! Continuing my prayers.

LOVE!!!!
Sammy

[Sandy]

Hi Rhonda,
That's Great News! I too sometimes fall asleep in the AC. I suspect that in some of those instances anyway, healing and some type of correction occurs
at this time.

Love,
Sandy

[Rhonda]

Hello Everyone,

I received a call from the Cleveland Clinic this morning. After updating my info the appointment they came up with was Jan of next year 2012

I hung up in exasperation. Then got mad and called back. I really explained to the appointment person, who was a male by the way, the need to be seen sooner. He came up with an appointment in a few weeks which is fine but they wanted a mammogram first. Now with my pain and itching the last thing I want is to be squashed in two separate ways. (Ouch)

The man decided to get a message to the Breast Center and have one of the doctors review what I said, then make a determination if the mammogram is not needed. Hopefully they will call soon.

Thank you for the continued prayers. Love and good vibes to all.
Rhonda

[Sandy]

Wow, January's an awful long time to wait! I'm glad there's an opportunity for you can get in in a couple weeks. Please consider getting "squashed" though if that is what it will take for you to get that earlier appointment. Not easy being a woman is it? But I guess at 52 I am getting used to it.
Hang in there.
Love,
Sandy

[peacockplume]

Hi Rhonda,

hope all is well....prayers and healing coming your way...

I had a similar wait for a MRI....appt about 9 mo away....we called the mri dept, and asked if I could be put on the cancellation list...
they phoned the next day...

as a result I had my operation in late Aug of 2010.....a good 4 mo ahead of the orig appt.

so go for it...give them a call and ask if you could be put on a cancellation list.....no matter what they say,,,be as nice as pie...

love, pp

[Rhonda]

Hello Everyone,

I have an appointment this Friday to see a breast specialist. Yeah. I received a call later during the day. Once I explained why I felt I needed to be seen earlier than Jan of next year. They did give me an appointment, however I do have to be squashed. Ugg.

Now that I achieved the wanted appointment. I am scared half out of my mind. Part of me keeps going on doing things for my future. Another part, a very small one, thinks why? But I immediately stop that thinking.

The emotions that are involved leave me in utter confusion. I pray that it is just some crazy wacked out rash that need a heavy dose of penicillin, but then again that is how Inflammatory Breast Cancer is misdiagnosed. (Oh, Gosh.)

By the way your prayers are working. My so called rash is looking almost better than I have ever seen it. I've seen it better one time before. Now if the doctor sees it looking so good. I don't know.

Love, hugs and good vibes to all. Thank you.
Rhonda

[peacockplume]

hi Rhonda,

(I think we should be on another thread,,,,but I'm definitely not an experienced enough moderator to move it) I guess if someone really thinks it should be moved,,it will..

meanwhile....today's Wed,,,,so for the next day and a half..till your appt, I can only give you some suggestions that might help you 'pass the time'...you've got the thought's doing the right thing....play a game with it.....weird thought...say 'delete, delete, delete, then replace it with a positive thought.

The emotions aren't any harder to conquer but just as difficult....

The emotions that are involved leave me in utter confusion.

so with an anxious emotion,,,at the second you catch it....bless it, love it, and send it out....you've transmuted it to good energy and it will be used by the universe wherever it's needed....maybe even back to you.

same thing once you send it out, you need to replace it with a really good emotion.....think of something that really brings you joy....

in both cases, when we send something out, it leaves a vacume.....apparently the universe doesn't like vacumes (sorry sp) so we need to replace it with something very positive.

Now the Dr.... just remember this is your body,,,,the rash hasn't completely disappeared, just because it is fading,,,you want 'proof' that nothing is there....and you keep working on it too...when you meditate, or just sit quietly....focus on the area, and fill it with the love and light of the creator.

You can do it,,,somehow I just know that.....you'll be ok....

just focus,,,fill it,,,and love it....I have a very dear friend who fought Stage 4 breast cancer,,,and won!! she knew she could do it...(almost didn't make it) then she said it was like a light bulb went off, and she knew she had the belief and faith to beat it....and she did...

so don't give up,,,,and we will be here for you...

Bless Your Heart,,,pp

[Sandy]

You know that always happens to me...if I finally decide maybe I should go to the doctor, I either get better completely or start to heal on my own so that the doc thinks I am looney tunes. Well he (my Doctor was a he) didn't think anything of the kind, but I know you feel just a tad strange. In your case Rhonda, you shouldn't feel weird at all even if the rash cleared up completely. It is important to know for sure what you are dealing with. I suspect most Doctors have been through it before with many pateints so he or she will just be happy for you that the problem area is feeling better and giving you less trouble. A breast specialist should know the difference between the breast cancer you speak of and a rash. Perhaps it was MDs who may make that spoken of misdiagnosis...but not a Cleveland clinic Doc. You are in good hands so try not to worry.
I am sending you a sisterly (((HUG))) from afar... Please let us know how it goes okay?
Love,
Sandy

[amygamie]

Rhonda, I have to say thank you for your thread. I have been reading it since the first post and it has helped me come to realize a few things with my own experiences . I don't have any proper advice but I do want to extend my love out to you and wish the best for you <3

[Rhonda]

Hello Everyone,

First I want to thank everyone for the great advice and love. I'm grateful for the collective goodness of the group. Much thanks, all of you are special indeed.

Now for the update. You're probably wondering with bated breath what happened. Well It isn't Inflammatory Breast Cancer. But they don't know what it is either. If it was the cancer it wouldn't have lasted three years. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is highly aggressive and would have spread in a matter of a few months.

I did get the dreaded mammogram, and it was uncomfortable, but the technician was very good.

A radiologist doctor, not my breast specialist, came out. She wanted to see the rash. She said my mammogram was in perfect order. No thickening of the lining or anything out of order. She felt the rash may be fungal and that I needed to see a dermatologist. (This was encouraging news.) By the way the day after the appointment the rash flared up again. Pain and itching. *Tisk, Tisk*

After speaking with the breast specialist, which I was not too thrilled with, he also agreed I needed to see a dermatologist. So we set an appointment for Nov 9th. The breast specialist told me not to put anything on my rash until the appointment.

This is where it gets interesting. The good doctor, and I say that with sarcasm. Didn't allow me to talk much, so he had no idea how much itching, pain and discomfort he is subjecting me too while I wait for the appointment six weeks later. I figure if my rash could be fungal, I'm going to help the dermatologist with an anti-fungal treatment before I see him. So I bought some yesterday and put it on.

As of today the ointment stopped the itching and I don't feel any pain.
(I believe in preventative medicine. I don't want to say anything derogatory against doctors, but the doctor didn't make me feel like he cared about me or my problem. He was more worried about his ego.)

Anyway that's the update. Thanks to all, hope you have great days ahead.
Rhonda

[peacockplume]

Yes, well I understand about the Dr talking to hear himself....

doesn't seem like he really has your 'good' in mind.... 6 wks...balderdash...

so since you've gone ahead and got some anti fungal.....and it worked...yahoo

I never thought of it at the time, but there are products out there that have silver in them....research it a bit...

I use one from Nature's Sunshine and it's called Silver Shield...I prefer the gel to the liquid...

I'll pm you to tell you what I use it for...

love, pp

[Sandy]

That's fabulous news that you don't have breast cancer, Rhonda! I am soooo happy for you!!! But I'm sorry your Doc wasn't more personable though. Perhaps he was having a rough day or life, himself... I cannot imagine the emotional stress they may go through on a daily basis as they deal with life and death situations. I think it would be easy to insulate yourself in this position by being aloof and not getting close to the patient or feeling their emotions. Not saying I like that behavior but in some ways I could see possibly where it is coming from.

Lets hope the itching subsides a bit now and you can get your peace of mind back again... I have heard these fungal problems can be a bear to get rid of sometimes.

((((((Big HUG))))))
Love,
Sandy

[amygamie]

Yay! XD I am so happy it isn't cancer. A few members of my family have various fungal problems, once you get through that trial and error of what actually works for you, it is usually very easy to manage. I don't have much else to say other than that, lol. Sending you all my love, Amy

[Rhonda]

Hey Everyone.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. We lost our internet access at work, which is where I do most of my posting.

These past weeks have been very hard. It seems like my life is falling apart. But I keep the spirit up, when doors slam shut, others open. It should be interesting how things turn out.

My so called rash is slowly, and I mean by micro-inches, clearing up. But the rash is the least of my worries compared to everything else that is happening in my world. Oh well. I guess the less I think about it the better.

I hope everyone else is doing well. Love and good vibes to all. Thanks

Rhonda

[Sandy]

Hi Rhonda,

You just popped into my mind while I ate a piece of banana bread and thought about my former home in your neck of the woods. A friend of mine just sent me photos of the beautiful fall foliage over there...It is so gorgeous this time of year.
Well theres some good news! I'm glad the rash is improving a bit but sorry other things seem to be falling apart. You have a beautiful attitude, though, about looking for a new door when the old one shuts. At times I must admit I had to look for an open window and then scale the wall to get to it...as it was hard to find the new path in a sudden change of direction...but now that I think about it...things did continue to flow with a certain bit of "bumpy grace."

Thank you for the good vibes this morning. I can use them and I would like to return the favor and send some back to you...
Love,
Sandy

[Rhonda]

Hi Sandy,

Oh Thanks. The Banana Bread sounds good. Do you miss the weather changes? We do indeed have the beautiful changes of foliage. The leaves are starting to fall and scatter across the ground. Halloween is coming up and the fun of children running around in cute costumes. Ahhh.

I like your reference to bumpy grace when climbing back from falling apart. Everything seems to be so difficult. I want to go to bed and stay there until it's all over. But I know if I don't make the changes nothing will get better.

My body and head seem to be in some kind of fog. I'm meditating though and still connecting, well I try, to my inner self. That's the only thing that gives me comfort right now. Strange. I didn't know that until I just typed it. Hummmm...

Anyway. Sending love and good vibes to all. Hugs.

Rhonda

[Krystalshard]

Thanks for the updates, Rhonda. So much of what you are dealing with is the stress of it all. Give yourself a little "time-out" and realize you are human.... I think we all get a bit caught up in the "Wonder Woman" mindset, thinking if we keep all the balls from hitting the floor, we will then be ok. Guess what ?? We're OK anyway!!! The road you've travelled so far has taught you the lesson you've needed. You are able to help others now... this is a gift you can give!

Here is my blessing for you: Now, each morning is a new day, another chance to connect with your Divine Beloved and bask in the peace you can only find within. The love within... a gift for you!!
Love,
Jean

[Rhonda]

Hello Everyone,

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’m sure some of you might be wondering what’s happening with my so called rash. It is almost completely healed. Now before you all go YEAH and breathe a sigh of relief. It has done this before, only to flare up again and usually around this time or before the big winter snow season coming up. So I guess time will tell if it has indeed healed. I’m still putting the anti-fungal spray/or lotion on it. And it still itches from time to time.

Here is another update. I used to meditate at night before bed. But I was reluctant to give up on my writing, being so in tuned with the storyline. However, I made a commitment so I would stop and do the meditation. One day I read one of the messages we receive in the email, that if you wanted help with the meditation just ask. That’s what I did.

Some time after asking for help, I woke up early, I mean early. Usually it was hard for me to get up at 8:00am to get ready for work. Now I was up several hours early, and alert. I took that time to do my writing then. But that was not to be. Prior to all of this my life kind of went topsy turvy and everything was falling apart, it still is. I could lose everything that I have worked so hard for. I even lost a best friend. But in my heart of hearts I knew the only way to stop the insanity was to get rid of everything, in essence to simplify my life.

I soon found out that I was not going to go back to being a night owl and continued to wake up several hours early. Now I am being pushed to do the meditation in the morning and my writing at night. It’s easy to do that when most of the channels on my TV reception don’t work. (Every things is falling apart. My umbrellas broke, my only snow books are falling apart, my car broke down and I riding the bus, having to walk everyday to the bus stop and back.) **Crazy I tell ya.** And this is just a small part of it. Most of my troubles have to do with financials.

After much heartaches and crying, I’ve decided to go with the flow and not fight it any longer. I’m learning to trust.

For all the new people who recent joined us. Welcome.

Rhonda

[Sandy]

Hello Rhonda! There you are! Like an old friend having a cup of coffee together that is the warmth and depth of feeling I get from your post and you know, within your words is a glaring lesson for this lady here. So I thank you sweetie and am so thrilled your rash is almost gone! Shoot, also praying for a sturdy pair of snow boots for those cold feet of yours and an umbrella to cover you head as you walk back and forth to the bus stop.! You Clevelanders can have more than a fair share of the white stuff... and for that matter, rain too and these items are a necessity!
It is good to know that you are okay and looking to the daily needs without worry. A dear frind of mine with ALS years ago decided to do this and I was floored how everything seemed to flow towards her as she needed it. She gave everything over to the "Big Guy/Gal" and it was an awesome for me to watch the wonders unfold in her Life.

Sending you a sisterly hug from NSW Australia!
Love,
Sandy

[Rhonda]

Hi Sandy,

Good to hear from you. I wish you and the family a great holiday season, and to all across the world.

Since I left all my worries to the big gal. (Ha) I sometime forget and start worrying again, only to stop and say. "All is well." That's what one of the midwayer said to say. I also try to have positive thoughts about the future, not just for me but for all. As I'm waiting for the bus, I talk to many people who are going through just as much as me. It is extremely humbling to see how they bravely go on in spite of it all.

Just want you to know that I've made a commitment to the meditation and am doing it each day. However I still fall asleep.

I have a question. George says in the meditation to think on your reasons for going into the AC. What if you're not sure as to why. I was summoned but don't know what I want or need from the AC. Is that why I'm falling asleep? Do I need to clearly state what my intentions are?

Rhonda

[Sandy]

Hello Rhonda,

I wish you and the family a great holiday season, and to all across the world.

Thank you! and I hope that you too enjoy the very best of the holidays!

Just want you to know that I've made a commitment to the meditation and am doing it each day. However I still fall asleep.

I have a question. George says in the meditation to think on your reasons for going into the AC. What if you're not sure as to why. I was summoned but don't know what I want or need from the AC. Is that why I'm falling asleep? Do I need to clearly state what my intentions are?

Those are a couple of very good questions because I suspect we all have ambled into the AC Library, from time to time, not sure what we needed or wanted to do with our time there. I don't think it matters, though, if we are not sure why we are there...George says in reality it is up to the celestials. What is needed generally occurs and messages come in strange and sometimes not so subtle ways... (sorry thinking back to the child that appeared unasked while I was praying one day in my workshop. ) Our own special place in the Akashic is a good place to think, pray, work on a problem, write, sketch, paint draw...etc... It is a place where we are in touch and more clearly attuned with all aspects of ourselves and our God within as well as our celestial siblings. It is very peaceful there and I think even should we be a bit at loose ends and choose to do a bit of Redecorating or even cleaning that what is needed in that moment occurs. ( thinking of George here who has been known to have to sweep his AC workshop before working as it is basically a hole in a sand dune. ) So if you are falling asleep, I think there could be a reason as there was with my friend Wingzie when she couldn't get in to her AC. Look at it as a healing time for you and don't be too disconcerted even if you do not understand why. Just continue to go with the flow.

But do think about your sleep habits. Are you cheating yourself of sleep nearly every night? If this is the case, when you get relaxed and comfortable, as we do when we work in the Akashic, your body may be giving you exactly what you need... sleep.

Well, dear lady, give it some thought anyway and don't worry good things are occurring. Daily meditation is good for all that ails you!

Love,
Sandy

[Rhonda]

Hi Sandy,

Thank you. I really appreciate your good vibes and kind and helpful words. I decided that I would go with the flow in the AC as I do with the rest of my life.

Since all the changes that has happened recently, I guess I may have been under the weather and on the verge of getting sick, so falling asleep was exactly what I needed. So I have been going to sleep at 9:30pm. Can you believe it, 9:30pm, unheard of. I trusted the celestial and went to sleep early the past few days. I woke up feeling better today which helped with my mind staying in control.

This morning a miracle happened. I went into the AC without any expectations, and I actually did healing this time. I didn't fall asleep. Yeah.

What you said regarding just spending time in the AC. I been wanting to do that. Inside the AC I have a wall that has a shelf full of herbs, and flower pots down below it that probably need to be watered and tended too.

In my special place in nature, I have two swans floating in the waterfall pond that I would love to spend time with. They are beautiful. I also have caves in the far corner by the forest, where the pond eventually flow toward the trees. The swans sometime are floating on the water. But I would love to explore those caves.

There is also two dogs that someone dropped off and a squirrel that sits on my bench when I'm there. As you can see I have lots of things that I can do there. As a writer who lives mostly in my head, along with a lot of characters screaming to come out, this seems like a great place for me to go.

Thank you so much. Hugs
Rhonda