Hi Dear Every One

,
Before I even begin, this feels like a post that'll get longer than I think sooner than I think

, so I'll probably have to write more than one post to catch up on everything that's happened here since I last posted

...
Lilly wrote:Sorry I've raved on .......
Lilly, no problem!

Yes, I bet you're right that the redwoods
do help process some of the negative stuff in their surroundings -- they've been around for so long that they probably witnessed the Spaniards' original taking of this land from the native people way back when, which probably was not a pretty scene ... since these magnificent trees simultaneously take in water both from the earth through their roots and from the fog through their needles, I can imagine them connecting heaven and earth. Just as all plants take in carbon dioxide and produce oxygen as part of photosynthesis, it feels like perhaps they also "breathe in" the negativity around them, then process and transform it within themselves, and then "breathe out" transformed, clean vibes, sort of like the Buddhist practice of "tonglen," I think it's called.
I do think our year here in this place was meant to be, and that we indeed attracted it to us, as a learning experience, a growth opportunity, and a chance to "clean up our vibration" (as Abraham would say

) regarding certain issues. We work a lot with the I Ching as one of our spiritual guides and teachers

, and in advance, they warned us that when we moved here, we would have to continually "darken our light,"

but they also made it clear that it was the right place to live for this year. Just a month or so after we moved here, we heard that the Gallery was starting up, so it was clear that we were meant to be here for that opportunity (and the I Ching told us in advance that it would be a great opportunity for us, as well as having some fundamental problems associated with it). Looking back on it, it
did get me to unbury my art and start doing it again for the first time in 20-some years, and, as you mentioned, it also gave us an opportunity to work with whatever forces inside us mirror the authoritarian gallery co-founder.
For example, at the beginning, the negative co-founder decided there would be a monthly revolving art-director position, and that the person fulfilling the role on any given month would have complete freedom of choice to arrange the Gallery and hang everyone's art the way they wanted. Then, the very first month, after the appointed art director arranged everything, the co-founder came in drunk one night, completely overrode the art director's arrangement, and rearranged everything the way
she wanted it, taking down several people's stuff that she didn't like, which included our silk hoops (since they were too "non-standard" in her mind, not square and framed like traditional paintings

)! (This of course was the Gallery's "first big hurdle," which caused wide-spread conflict among gallery members for quite a while

, until things gradually settled down again, but I spared all of you the details at the time!

) So, as part of the processing of all this, I've been asking myself where I've had a critical, authoritarian voice
within myself (probably that originally
did come from parents, art teachers, etc., but that I then internalized, so it's now just a voice within
me that took over for them) that tries to judge and suppress my art in the same way the co-founder did to all of us, and attempts to insult and interrupt my spontaneous, positive, intuitive artistic impulses, and so on. And I realize that as I keep working on listening to that negative voice less and less, until it shrinks more and more, I'll be less likely to attract the same sort of situation in the future (or if I still do, it'll at least be ever milder versions of it as I keep "cleaning up my vibe," as Abraham says

). Ron and I have been talking about and processing these issues daily, and he has identified several of his own similar issues that he's been working on too. Fortunately, the I Ching seems to think we've been doing very well with it!
We also have been looking through the Santa Cruz phone book I got through CraigsList, and there
are fortunately many art galleries, art co-op type places, art gift shops and such there, potential future venues. There are also various arts-and-crafts fairs one can buy booth space at, and so on, that we may begin looking into at some point, and I know of a few on-line possibilities as well, as you've mentioned. Thanks for all your wishes that things go well!

You're a beautiful person too!
PP wrote:
we all need to be in a comfortable place and sometimes all you can do is remove yourself from the negativity.....as everyone seems to be doing from the gallery.....many people have gone through that type of transition....I've heard it's part of personal ascension....when it comes to the point of recognizing the negativity,,,,one has to finally make a choice..
PP, wow, I'm sorry you lost all that stuff you typed in! Thanks for your support!

I agree with what you wrote above; I do think it's part of personal ascension, which is tied in with all the "cleaning up our vibrations" we're doing around this issue, as mentioned above. Just like we can choose to recognize and remove ourselves from the negativity in our outer environment, we can also choose to become aware of and stop listening to our own "inner critic" and "inner bully" voices, remove ourselves from that negative
inner emotional environment as well. Looking back on it, we realize that this past year has really sparked a lot of profound inner growth and change, so, in reality, it's been a great gift.
Oops, it's getting late already

, so, if I don't have time to write a second post tonight, I'll do so again soon, and try to catch up on the rest of the flurry of activity that's been going on here since I last posted.
Love to all of you

,
Aqua Deb