March 30th, and it was a cold and quiet night, and not much Spring in the Air. But indoors in the night church the candles were lit. I wrote some prayers, and placed them in the basket. And also lit a candle, and it was placed back in the centered cross of candles in middle of room. Or the section just after coming in to the churchroom itself, benches and alter and everything! Well, it was a night followed by the Easter Night Church of April, 6. And this one was very different, indeed.
A little funny thing was how one of the volunteers had problems fixing a candle on a stake. You could hear the drilling from a drilling machine somewhere in a back room, and then he tried again, but nope; candle would not stay on stake. So, all night it was empty- but the others on! I stayed many hours, and many impressions, but i think what was most vivid, was how much time "dissolves" when you are in a room, semi-dark and just by yourself. No entertainment. I talked to another volunteer, whom always is there, when i am there- and he is in his 50´s. We spoke some days after, and he mentioned painful things surfacing, and things one had put a lid on, and thought gone. Well, i could really follow him, cause during those moments of silence and watching the candles, and also following a dias depicturing the events around EASTER and the CHRIST returning back to life and from the grave: "he has risen".. and also not to forget the words given, a tandem from two ladys whom shifted to read up from a PSALM. Not to forget either, the songs sung and the wholeness of night, i did leave that church with some old memorys and some more painful, than i really would have liked. The parents breaking up so early in life, my lonely and "lost" years from 21-29 and how rootless at times it felt during these, and other things more detailed in my recollection, which you would be spared for here! I was out to a very clear and bright dawn, just before the natural light gets "lit" and it was very red and rosy, but also a chilly Easter Morning of April 7. And i was heading home! I felt that durning that night, maybe we are meant to be loved by God, because every drop of love is richer than the torn picture and things once broken. I felt this mixture, and somewhat bitter, that i am in a torn world, but behind the veil there is "perfection" and this perfection is a divine spark of love, and a genuine love. One never to be broken, and it was strange- because while in church, i felt as if i wasn´t really connected to anything Divine, merely just sitting there in my own thoughts.
One of the things i did do, was lit a candle for my granddad. And still i "miss him" and what we shared together, when he was still dwelling in his little flat etc. I should add that not that many used the opportunity to stay at the church, but those who did and it was in the local papers, expressed they were really surprised and felt uplifted. The angels? Well, so did i- but maybe in a more Easter like way, ala the Christ risen from "the dead". Because it was Easter, and Easter for sure.
Yet presently, it is May when writing this..
Peacefully; with Love & Light, from Kwame.