Overwhelmed

Use this forum to ask or post about 11:11, 12:34, 2:22, 22:22 etc. The wake-up digital clock signals of our loving celestial friends. They also delight in flicking on or off street lights, traffic lights and ringing door bells.
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CityLight
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by CityLight »

Great to meet you Eric :hithere , Did you see number sequences in dreams or something else? i'd love to hear it, and it would also fill me in on your unique character This is fascinating to me because i have very little memory recovery of dreams these past years. i can barely remember anything but there was whole lot going on in them, i remember that. An interesting thing is, I(in a story for another time) was fortunate enough to experience living in Manitoba Canada fo almost a year on a 'first nation' native reserve, They are also referred to as Aboriginal. I'm bringing this up because during my stay there, I had relentlessly vivid dreams that would really involve me in them. i would wake exhausted and tired as if I were moving all night. Very tense.
I would have dreams of new york that didnt look like the new york city I know, it was like a dream someone who never seen this city would interpret. I had dreams where i was chased by something or someone and when i was finally cornered I turned into a lioness or a tiger that let out a roar that woke me up, my girlfriend at the time was shaking me,' Daron, you're growling really loud" she said, we both laughed. It happened a few times after in which i woke to actually find my mouth still growling. One dream, I started running so fast that i eventual dropped down and started running on all fours it was a liberation , but i never wanted to try and understand them, i still feel not to. Never happened ever here in the city. I sometimes wondered if it's because there is so little of physical nature here or if the massive amounts of people cause interference. What do you feel about this .rain eric? And thanks again.
love Daron.
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by happyrain »

aww shucks :oops: thank you sandy
i missed you :lol: :kiss:

hey daron, they're kind of long. but really what prompted my searching online for consolation- and then found this website. as for your dreams idk but its cool turning into an animal. have you looked up the lion as a totem ?

o yeah i wanted to ask u
i kind of like the 666 prompt. its comforting to me and i was curious, now that you've had some time to mold your perception with the 1111 phenomena how you feel now about seeing 666 versus when you first started seeing it- if your feelings are changed maybe ?

take care
Fear grips when Love falls short of Infinity
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CityLight
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by CityLight »

Hey Eric! thanks for coming back, I would still love to read em sometime, I hope that thread is still around.

"i kind of like the 666 prompt. its comforting to me and i was curious, now that you've had some time to mold your perception with the 1111 phenomena how you feel now about seeing 666 versus when you first started seeing it- if your feelings are changed maybe ?" - .rain

When i first read your question something inside lit up and i got very excited, I pulled together and realized It was a very good question. Absolutely, i feel the same as you. When i first saw them my life consisted of exercise and mental escape. it was a cable box gone haywire that introduced them to me, When ever i would use the controller it would not respond and went to channels i did not press, at the end of this spectacle, it just ended up going to channel 666, but almost always happened if the number six was ever grazed. Soon after whenever i was squandering my time with online games, a real mental stimulation overdose, I would see 666 in the scores. on tv commercials and receipts. It did get spooky, especially since i was getting very very angry at that time, working out too much, not resting enough, not loving enough. I was silencing my Spirit. But i never felt like it had anything at all to do with what i had been told about "666" in my life. The same later on when I saw 9:11 everyday all over the place i never felt anything about the world trade center attacks.
Things hit a boiling point, i developed tendonitis of the elbow, my body had broken down from the lack of love and rest. I went from lifting 65lbs to unable to lift a gallon of milk. The first days became depressing, i was "finally getting where i wanted to be and it all was taken away". So many things went wrong at this time, I spilled things constantly broke things without a even a try, even angry enough to hit the wall. A week later I got it through my physically obsessed head (i indeed believed in Spirit at this time, but did nothing about it) to accept what is happening, this was going to take a while to heal, i learned the value of acceptance in my first and only relationship,but it still took a week here. in this time i started to feel lighter, and one day i knocked over a shake i was about to have, splashing all over the wall and mat and bed and tv in my bedroom. I thought of all thats was happening, The anger, the imbalance, the 6's, the injury that put me out and a lot more, "AND NOW THIS?!" I could do nothing but keep calm and mop it all up. I thought about all of us that try so hard to better ourselves and get chopped down, all of my familly and friends hopes and endeavors just vanish. I began to cry. It felt like this wasnt about me, as if i could feel the disappointment of all of those people.. It was a very introspective clean up. This was all to bad to be true. I finally said, "If you're trying to contact me you're gonna have to be a hell of a lot clearer." i had no idea if anyone was listening, but it couldnt hurt. I wondered what was behind this. In my head i quickly thought " I'm open enough to communicate if must be... why all these trivial upsetting things?"
I think its around this time I began to feel a closeness, I started to see the birds and the many trees that lived amongst me and thousands of others, yet they were invisible. I started to once again remember my place in this universe and the web in which i am a part of. The 6's ceased. This injury was essential.
I gave my 'haywire' cable box to my stepfather when his burned out, which never had a problem and works flawlessly to this day. It is around here the 9:11's began,together with very few 22's.
When i saw that caller i.d number with th 666's last week, i was reminded that i asked for this help( I feel a sense of agitation inside)I asked for the help and guidance to better myself, I asked for help in pushing away outside sources of dependencies, I asked for assitance in this life, I vowed to work together. I was reciveing this help, and i choose to go by what my young and infant mind says?? The mind and body are brand new, but Spirit is ancient and knows, we know. All this while washing the dishes. I really do see it now as a "we got your back' prompt. I now have a Lighthouse when it becomes to foggy for me to see.
Love you all, Daron, gratefully.
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by Sandy »

Hey Daron,
It is good to read your posts and understand where you come from on so many levels. awhhh I just looked up and received a progress prompt 12:34...I wonder now is it for you or for me... :) We'll just say both, eh? ;)

I think I tend to take for granted the nature and environment around me. (Thinking about how different our environment is from one to another) And I walk sometimes with blinders on to the beauty that lies even within the concrete forming the sidewalk...Okay, you really have to look deeper there ;) but as we view life which involves all of our environment we are in fact participating in its creation...from moment to moment...we are co creators able to form and mould and create the life we envisage in some sort of resonate way. I am often sound oriented and I don't talk about this much, but in my early days of meditation I would sit rather traditionally and beg "the powers that be" for a quiet mind. :lol: As many of you may have experienced... this doesn't happen immediately and can take some practice and perhaps some experimentation in lots of different spirit harmonizing ways. I found that noise early on, as I "demanded quiet," with two large needy dogs and a cat who considered my lap as belonging to him and his bathing needs, hindered me and I complained mightily to the invisible friends around me. But soon and with persistence I realized a sense of belonging enveloped me...I began to understand that rather than trying to exclude the noise it is meaningful and helpful to include the noise, embracing it as a precious part of existence. LOL I know not making any sense here and I really do not know what this has anything to do with your lovely posts, Daron... But to finish my strange line of thought...I began to appreciate the sounds I heard around me in meditation instead of stressing about them and they became a valuable part of my drifting, even leading me deeper as a great appreciation for my life and noisy world encompassed me. Yes, even the concrete of our existence sings its praises to the Almighty. :D
I fear not as well Sandy, because what lies within us here on the boards, lies in hidden and silenced in those "masters' and "fat cats" as well.
That is something so valuable to remember ...hmmm much like the noise spoken of earlier they too have place and purpose even love within and without. Thank you Daron... :kiss:
Sandy
“We measure and evaluate your Spiritual Progress on the Wall of Eternity." – Guardian of Destiny, Alverana.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Hello ALL :hithere , i am very happy that I am once again able to sign in here and share in the lives and everyday experiences of the special individuals that gracefully share on these boards. I have had a tremendous time trying to log in for a few weeks, when i attempt to sign in, i am quickly signed out. I am unsure wether this is board wide or simply that I have a very old computer, lol. I am not technologically inclined, although I understand it all well enough ( After all,I did grow up in the nintendo age) but it does not intrigue me, it doesn't call to me. But when i think of this, i directly remember Sandy's words on how we all have our functions, maybe this applies here. Speaking of Sandy :kiss:, who has inspired me in so many ways, even to create a simple wall paper for my p.c. consisting of her words. In the time I have been away,never once did i forget to remember Sandy, her words, and the wisdom that exists primarily on these boards. This in particular, Sandy;
"I think I tend to take for granted the nature and environment around me. (Thinking about how different our environment is from one to another) And I walk sometimes with blinders on to the beauty that lies even within the concrete forming the sidewalk...Okay, you really have to look deeper there but as we view life which involves all of our environment we are in fact participating in its creation...from moment to moment...we are co creators able to form and mould and create the life we envisage in some sort of resonate way.
I have incorperated this into my life...not only because it is wise, not only because Sandy shared this with such Love and relation, but because it is so beautifully true, it resonated deep within, awakening what I seemed to always have known but did remember. I see, hear and feel all around me that I once thought artificial to be teeming with Life, for even the Extremely loud Firetrucks and buses that fly by daily,like mythical dragons are but creations of creations. (teary eyed) I have found life in all things, and therefore, have found new teachers, knowledge and potential for love in all things. I am a little...i don't want to say disappointed, but am confused as to why other 11'ers have not posted on this thread,i was truly looking forward to the wisdom of all their different outlooks. I shall not dwell on that another second, as i am sure this is exactly what it needs to be.
I am very happy to follow up on the Marijuana issue, I quit 'cold turkey' within one week, with the aid of a very useful cleansing meditation, coupled with intention and last but never least...the precious aid of our unseen dear ones and all forces at hand. My friends and some family are aware that i have ceased all outside intoxicants, but they are not informed as to how this occured. It's quite short, yet amazing. If i remember correctly,it was around the time of my slowing down, where i started to see 888 and 88's all over the place for about 3 days straight. I was starting to prepare to possibly say a very solemn "until later" to my dear dear freind and elderly cat 'Pheobe'. I am thrilled to say that it was farewell to substance abuse instead! Though, it happened in an eerily similar way. I had slowed down my usage to a fare amount for a few days, until one afternoon, I took a puff that unknowingly was my last. As i set down this drug i had just used, i became still, and with no thoughts,felt a tiny explosion of warmth directly inside the middle of my chest, it grew until i began to feel a sorrow, not a sadness paticularly. It was very much like i had just found my dear cat no longer breathing, as I of course would have been aware that that passing/returning would arrive sooner or later, it followed with acceptance. I began to to tear up,and my inner voice said, "It's time". I became calm again... yet still emotional as i began to understand what was happening. It indeed was time, i no longer use it, think of it, or am affected by it even if it is around me. I was a 24 hour a day smoker, this is now just a label i onced carried. The words of those within this thread were also a powerful force when combined with intention and meditative cleansing. BOOM! Liberation. THANK YOU MY FRIENDS! :sunflower: You know sometimes when i feel myself falling into irritation and rudeness, 44's and 33's so often show and i would rewind and go in the direction of selflessness, i see the power and reason behind these inspiring prompts, they keep me on the track i so much desire to stay on, even when i can't see that I am derailing. I recenetly had a dream where I repeatedly heard 22,22, 22...and i opened my eyes facing the wall and thought "If that clock says 22..." It did indeed,woken up at 7:22am. There have been so many moments of amazing prompts, learning, Love, Forgiveness, giving, and tremendously Light growing moments that i've experienced in the time since I last posted. Divine moments. I struggle to even remember them all. To be able to touch the hearts and souls of my brothers and sisters out here and bring those immaterial things to the surface, is a glorious gift I have always wished for, even when i was unaware of it. There have also been of course a small amount of days where i feel very alone, and as if I could withdraw from the world and cry all day, and if I dont the sorrow will linger even longer. I am starting to realize that these melancholic days are very important, for what... I have no idea. Before I try and remember any of my encounters out here in the Big apple ( Which I once ignorantly called "The Rotten Apple"). I want to share something that applies to all of us. I No doubt now realize that our beloved angels are behind all of this that i'm about to share.

About a year and a half ago, when i had just begun to exercise my physical form, I felt the urge to start cleaning up, i really started to feel a change was happening, i knew it was something very deep and complex because the wheel of change had started to slowly turn for me around the year 2000. But i was completely lost as to what kind of change and why. While cleaning up I found an old news paper and threw it out , but then i had this thought, "Check the horoscope for a second, just for amusement" I never, besides my youth felt to live my life in accordance with astrology. I have heard too many people say " I checked my horoscope today and i'm screwed" That is Fear. I feel in my heart, it is about 33% on to something that is deeply complex and ever changing. But that does not matter and i do not judge it, or those that appreciate it's worth, for to judge Astrology or it's readers is to judge and condemn myself.
I still strongly believe we need all points of view to grow.
This is what it read;
"Why is it so hard for westerners of the last two centuries to feel the intimate presence of the divine intelligences? Every other culture in the history of the world has had a more vital connection with the realm of spirit. According to poet Gary Snyder, California's Yana Indians explained it this way: The gods have retreated to the volcanic recesses of Mt.Lassen, passing the time playing gambling games with magic sticks. They're simply waiting for such a time when human beings will "reform themselves" and become 'real people' that spirits might want to associate with once again" Here's why i'm bringing this up, Gemini: I think that right now is a special time in your life when you have the power to become a "real person" with whom the spirits will want to have closer communion."

This is exactly how it is wriiten. I cut this out for some reason back then and placed it in my wallet, my old wallet. I recenlty went to find this older wallet because my new one is not efficient, i lifted up a the flap within and found this, this small piece of newspaper article. This was over a year before i became conscious of ANY repeptitive number sequences. I do not have a camera or Cellphone(not drawn to tech,remember?lol) but as soon as i purchase one... i will post a picture of this article on here... because it, in all clarity applies to each and everyone of us on here. The Angels are indeed with us always!
Love Daron. :hithere
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by Sandy »

Hello and welcome home Daron! :hithere

First of all with a red face I say thank you for those lovely words directed my way that single handedly added two inches of much needed height to this little shortie's self esteem. ;) Seriously, though, there is a very good chance if I have said anything that resonates and affects you that I have had a great deal of help from our celestial friends. You have to remember you are speaking to the decidedly cranky ole lady who ranted and raved half way down the street just now when I saw that a demolition company had taken out two beloved palm trees! :shock: (I love trees whether they are mine or not) For a minute there, I forgot all about love... :oops: (Okay while I am being truthful it was a little more than a few minutes. :roll: ) anyway, I think this afternoon's meditation might need to restore some inner balance and perspective.

Well done!!! Giving up substance abuse is not an easy accomplishment and yet here you are sharing this achievement with us and inspiring others who may have something they too are ready to release. :cheers:

You know, I was just thinking that it is easy for society to recognize the perils of substance abuse but often times something every bit as detrimental is lurking in our collection of behaviours. Stress may not be a quick killer but as it gradually erodes our sense of well being, happiness and self esteem it robs us of our physical health as well and is a killer every bit as much as these dangerous and addicting drugs as it metastasizes in a wealth of various diseases and conditions. So lets all take a closer look at those mind ruts many of us have grooved within us... and let’s try recognizing and staying out of just one of these for awhile. Deal? And while we are at it, let us also keep in mind that we do not face these things alone. We also do not share the joys alone either...At all times in life we are fortunate to have blessed friends. I'm thinking of celestial and human alike as we are all one in Spirit. Just like you have noticed, Daron, with your 33 and 22 and 44 promptings that so encourage you. :happy )
Yes, it is good to have friends! :sunflower:
"Why is it so hard for westerners of the last two centuries to feel the intimate presence of the divine intelligences?
Well, this may seem the case as we look at stereotypes. But since a spiritual connection is very much an individual effort I suspect you will find many a spiritual person in the ranks of the label, “westerners” if we were to take a closer look at history. Religion has taken it's knocks lately but in essense real religion is the very personal relationship we all have with the Creator of all...pure and simple. It does not depend on chants, prayers, hymns, certain books or even an appreciation of the channeling of divine messages, among other things. :) It ruly does not require any system of belief. These things when crystalized and static can interfere with the very process of getting to know the Divine as they serve to limit our own knowledge of the One who is Infinitely ever beyond what we can possibly envisage. So I often wondered why so many people camp infinitely in this corner or that corner of beliefs instead of celebrating the diversity of the wisdom each person can provide as we all learn something precious and new in regards to the Source of All from our own personal experience as it is revealed one on one. We are each indispensible to each other... and purified in Love it is all good!

Okay enough out of me. I look forward to reading the article you mentioned, Daron. :D
Sending you a hug over there in the "Big Apple", a place ever more beautiful by the likes of people like you.
:loves
(((((((DARON)))))))
Love,
Sandy
“We measure and evaluate your Spiritual Progress on the Wall of Eternity." – Guardian of Destiny, Alverana.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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:) Oh Sandy, I also find myself in moments of disagreement with many aspects of life around me, and often i am pulled into a passionate reaction. Just today, on yet another bus ride, and elderly woman, in her early 70's at the least, came aboard. When i got on earlier , i deliberately left the front bus seats available for this exact reason. So as i stood in the back, i see her get on, and when i take a look... there were two young adults with healthy legs and youthful zest, possibly on there 2nd cup of coffee yet they allow this poor older woman to stand there and barely hold on as the bus roughly drives along. Her legs looked so swollen and she was carrying bags. It was very hard for me not to say "hey, that is really selfish, this poor woman standing 1 foot in front of you, is barely holding up, yet you would actually sit here and look straight ahead or bury your face in your cellphone instead, you're legs are no doubt stronger!" But i did not do a thing, only because this happens so often, that i am forced to try and understand the state of mind these people are in. It is indeed selfish, but it is also ignorance and conditioning of the "new york state of mind" that "only take care of yourself/me first" mentality, they are like children that know nothing else, perhaps they are not as bad as they seem, only terribly misguided... in a destructive way. But your words Sandy there, help me realize something. That i am slowly getting to understand. That it is the passion. The passion behind what we feel, what we know, the devotion to that knowing... and the passion behind the Love for all life that others so often walk over. This passion is also knowledge in a volcanic way. Living in this city, i have come to see that sometimes ignorance is bliss, when all you know is monetary, physical and one's own self interest, it is easy to walk over flowers, laugh at suffering, destroy and build or tear down a tree you think is yours...with little respect or even awareness to one's own connection to the source of all things. But this passion Sandy...this 'burden of light' is worth that fire and worth the fatigue of carrying such a knowing, it is an honor. Though far from easy sometimes. Your words echo the honor of this burden, we are blessed to know what it is we do not want to be, we are fortunate to know of the things within us that keep us down, like the mind ruts;
Stress may not be a quick killer but as it gradually erodes our sense of well being, happiness and self esteem it robs us of our physical health as well and is a killer every bit as much as these dangerous and addicting drugs as it metastasizes in a wealth of various diseases and conditions. So lets all take a closer look at those mind ruts many of us have grooved within us... and let’s try recognizing and staying out of just one of these for awhile. Deal?
:loves DEAL!
Along with this realization i also see that you and I... and all reading this, must forgive ourselves for falling head on in to this passion, for our reasons are honorable. Of course there will be the normal agitation and upsets, because although we are very aware of what we are at the core of own being, and our deep rich involvement with the Source of all things and the physical Universe, we are still animals in a sense, at this time we are still very close to our instincts and our very old human nature, these things are a part of us, So we must forgive our physical selves for not always cooperating with our TRUE selves. The passion lies there as well. We cannot get upset at our car when it runs out of gas, it doesn't even understand that it needs gas, it just reacts.

There is one more thing. I never had an appreciation for these social websites like Myspace and facebook, i felt that they were just taking the real connective communication out of realtionships, people who would not talk to one another in person are all of a sudden leaving quick comments about eachother.
But after being on here and having such wonderful discussions and being affected by the openness of others that i do not know, I started to see the potential there. So I decided to answer a random Facebook sign-up e-mail. And post just my feelings, experiences out here in the city and how someone that looks as I, can indeed have a different inside. I do not mention the midwayers or even prompts, I understand very much the point of view of others, i feel i have walked where they walk and sat where they are sitting, just because they would not understand the 1,111, sure doesn't mean they won't understand Love. I am able to be a living example of how Love is within, that lives can be changed, that there can always be new beginnings. All of my friends and most of my family are there to witness the Love they so long ago gave to me, come to fruition, and see me at it's current state of growth. They are indeed all gardeners, in need of their old seeds planted to return the favor and deliver seemingly unimportant realizations :) .
I'm writing about this because Sandy mentioned the feeling of love for those trees. I have similar feelings. I will post this story from my Face book page now:
I often like to take a few moments alone on the roof of my building. It's really
the only clear breath of nature around here. I see it as a way of zooming out a
little in the picture that is my existence. I of course always know where I am,
but it is a revival to truly witness the bigger picture. I'd sit in the direction
of the sun, in attempt to return the warmth it has given me my whole life. I
remember now about one of the most profound 5 minutes i've ever experienced up there. I, at one point, like many of you know was engulfed in Fear, I absorbed it, and allowed it to become a force in my life, a force which led to many years of solitude and hermitism.
As I sat up there being barely able to keep my eyes
open, as our regal star, our Mother and Father, burned my eyes shut with it's
brilliance. I turned my attention towards a tree, a tree that had always been
there, since I began my life in this building many years ago. I remembered it because when I would be locked up in my own personally made prison, so to speak, for weeks even months at a time, It was always at my window. Summer, winter and Fall. It seemed to always beckon to me, hitting my window, waving in the wind as if saying to me "Come on out here, we are waiting for you...we need you" "Come and allow stories to happen to you, come and participate, for you are a part of this."
I sat in reflection as tears started to well in my eyes, all the precious time i had spent 'hating' the world, all of my ability and worth... silenced by ignorance and Fear, for so many years. As this thought developed I saw with the corner my eye, a large black dot whizzing around above, high up in the sky.
I wondered how an insect could fly so high up there with out being overwhelmed by the wind currents. I observed it for a few seconds until it took an extremely sharp turn and in an glorious display, exploded into a group of over a dozen other flies. I didn't understand if it was a fight or simply a way of traveling
together, it did not matter, nature's point had been made. I was astonished at how I had never seen this before, I gazed again at the tree and thought to myself "How...?", "How could I have lived for over 30 years and never truly have seen these things?" Just a single tear fell as, I contemplated how millions like myself live amongst such things for our whole lives, and yet they were invisible to us. I felt so small but so precious, as I realized that "I am not alien to this...I am a part of it." "these forms of life are as much a part of the whole as myself, and they need me...need us." A deep shame overcame me, but followed quickly by forgiveness. I began to understand something, that i am still trying to grasp.
That Life...all our lives, are more important than what we are taught, so much
more valuable than what we are told and learn from others. We need just listen.
And see that we are a very necessary force to the web of all things. I was, am and
will always be grateful to that tree and those 5 minutes of complete bliss.
Love Daron.
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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CityLight
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by CityLight »

Dear Sandy, every time i read your posts I can't help but have a similar responsive feeling and a story to go with it lol. You set up my punchlines perfectly (so to speak).
As far as that horoscope artical, it was pretty much just a tiny sheet of paper consisiting of just the words i posted. I will post a picture as evidence in the future.
Religion has taken it's knocks lately but in essense real religion is the very personal relationship we all have with the Creator of all...pure and simple. It does not depend on chants, prayers, hymns, certain books or even an appreciation of the channeling of divine messages, among other things. It ruly does not require any system of belief. These things when crystalized and static can interfere with the very process of getting to know the Divine as they serve to limit our own knowledge of the One who is Infinitely ever beyond what we can possibly envisage. So I often wondered why so many people camp infinitely in this corner or that corner of beliefs instead of celebrating the diversity of the wisdom each person can provide as we all learn something precious and new in regards to the Source of All from our own personal experience as it is revealed one on one. We are each indispensible to each other... and purified in Love it is all good!
I cannot tell you how long I have felt this way. I am glad though, that I have reached a point of non judgement and openness to be able to appreciate the goodness even in organized religion. Yet I can't help but see clearly now the difference between one's own personal spirituality and the views of organized faith. I had a discussion a few months ago with a friend of mine, who was for some reason extremely angry with religion. He went on to express his anger towards people of faith, at how some are accepted yet others are excluded. Angry at how if he does not accept Jesus, he will not go to a heaven. I personally think much good in the world comes from people of faith, i also think much fear as well. Yet I began to understand where he was coming from. He was almost afraid, and where there is Fear there is also pain and anger. I believe it was multiple fears. Like what if it's true, or will we always segragate ourselves from one another, or what if there is a hell, or even if this will cause him problems in the future. All of this is unnecessary Fear. I said to him "No disrespect for religion and those with the will to adhere to it, but i used to think of it like those yellow 'for dummies' books. "Computers for dummies" or "Cooking for dummies" etc." I called Religion "Spirituality for dummies" That seems very ignorant and harsh now but i was a teenager when i felt that way. :oops:
But i rephrased it and said "Think of it this way, if i bring you into my home and say, 'Hey you, stand up straight'...how would anyone know if you were still standing up straight once you have left my home? It's up to you. You can't be told to BE a certain way, you must LIVE IT." This is why many are angry with religion, they feel it does not work, as if it were a technique to be used and discarded if doesn't show results quickly. It is Spirituality packaged by men, processed and ready to go, for illusory convenience.
But is as necessary as any other subject in this Universe. I feel even science, which i absorbed into myself for many years, is of a sect now. Some of the most brilliant physicists on earth would literally discard the unseen wonders of this Universe simply because it cannot be measured. We are living proof of the intangible wonders of the source of all things. It seems most people choose black or white. But what about grey? What about being open? I try and practice this openness, i feel that it is an invaluable tool in understanding myself and the physical and unseen world that i am part of, to observe life around me without judgement and without predetermined ideas of what it all is.

I went to my cousins baptism 3 weeks ago,and i was very excited to be able to see a mass, it had been so long. I went with deep respect and an open mind and heart to breath in all i could about the Christian faith and all biblical inspirations. I was like a kid in a candy store. :sunflower: But as I listened on for about two hours, much to my dismay...there was so little love expressed, it was all about what Jesus had done and how we MUST accept him, or we will not be one with him and God in heaven. I still listened with care, but i heard almost nothing about how we can change our own lives and even more so the lives of others for the good, for Love. Nothing about changing our perception of the world and therefor changing the world. But the Fear was everywhere in the words of this mass. I began to see that much of this was mans doing...physical man is fear. Fear is mans doing. Men long ago took the beauty that Jesus had to offer the world and twisted it into a book of fear and regulations. Are we not aware of this free will universe? There are no rules, but the way we live will ripple and create our own future experiences and affect those of others. It will be completely off balance and miserable if we do not live in Love, but we are free to do so. God is not a puppeteer. I believe it might have been George Barnard that wrote something of this sort, that we are free to do as we wish, but the universe works better when everything is doing what it should? I don't know why i say this with such confidence, but i feel i know this deeply. All in all it was still a beautiful ceremony and the priest was a wonderfully charming man that had a loving sense of humor and made it all great! I indeed took with me much good and much love and respect for those of the faith, all faiths. I hope that I have not offended anyone, but if by chance i have, then you may want to take a look at that. Because if you feel a need to defend or represent something then you may be stuck in a belief system and it will limit your understanding and growth.
Very much Love Daron. :hithere
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Hi Daron,
I guess religion, as in groups of believers subscribing to one aspect of truth, has served a purpose over the centuries, helping to prevent the total decay of civilization by instilling that "fear of God within men (and women's too) chests". Hell fire and Brimstone were at least partially successful in prodding some of the masses to behaviour more in line with so called-God's will. They may have prevented some terrible tragedies and instigated others which often happens when a group of people get it into their heads that they know more than others and have the right to choose another’s path to the Creator. I wonder sometimes if we will ever learn but with that said, I suppose a close look at our own "cabinet of behaviours" may be in order as the spiritual community as a whole and the individuals within can be "dog eat dog" too. Do we all have to agree?... probably not...we haven't yet in man's assent into the future. Well, we may some day but is this the time? Is it truly necessary for all of us to be on the exact same page? Some may argue from the "yes" point of view but in my opinion in these opening decades of the correcting time that there is still much needed "bridge building" between what every little group and every little individual sees as "their truth." I type the word, truth, with a little "t" because right now what we know as truth is ever changing, growing too as we grow in soul and spirit. This continues long after we leave our mortal attire behind in death and the wonders of the physical and spiritual universe, understanding and knowledge well beyond anything we can comprehend will gradually be ours for the under taking. Right now, however, I suspect we are arguing over the alphabet... the modelling clay, the finger paints of spirit/religious knowledge as it applies right now in this era on earth. We long desperately to know the future, want to see it form as we think it ought to and in the form our leanings/beliefs entail...Are we disappointed as we see delays, realize that the much needed corrections are not so easily instilled, not only in the minds of others but in our own as well? :lol: I laugh because I am talking about myself here...such a dreamer I am and impatient one at that. ;) But as I have said before, I am in this work for the "long haul". Hoping like heck that some of the young folk out there will take up the Love, make it their mission, passing it on now and long after I'm long gone. (bet you can tell what song I am hearing in my head right now. :lol: ) Yes, pass it on! Divine Love will inspire the hearts and minds of men and with it, hopefully, a new era of light unfolds. :happy
From what you have written about your experience in attending the church service, the positive attributes you enjoyed and absorbed...I suspect you will enjoy Kwame's description of the church service that he attends on Friday nights in Kolding, Denmark in this thread...
http://board.1111angels.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=16790
Kwame, (dragonfly) has led me over and over again into peaceful contemplation from this place where religion and spirituality become one...very beautiful indeed are his words and the imagery is food for the soul.

Have a great week end Daron and everybody. :sunflower:
Love,
Sandy
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Thank you for your beautifully wise observations Sandy! :kiss:
We long desperately to know the future, want to see it form as we think it ought to and in the form our leanings/beliefs entail...Are we disappointed as we see delays, realize that the much needed corrections are not so easily instilled, not only in the minds of others but in our own as well? I laugh because I am talking about myself here...such a dreamer I am and impatient one at that.
lol Oh, how you are not alone. :D I mentioned earlier how for me, some days are very somber and melancholy, filled with overwhelming emotion, but i see a lot of what you said, in myself on these days, but to a more inexperienced degree(I have so far to go, No 'problem' though.) I often try and search within to isolate and scrutinize what makes me tick in these particular ways, i find that self knowledge, to be empowering to myself and benificial to the world around me. I began to see how a lot of my sorrow was due to my impatience for results, yes some good I gave returned to me quickly but the majority will not always be so. I see in my reflection... a blindness to my own finite existence. That possibly, because we are finite beings, we wish for things, moments, achievements and even food, to come quickly. All the answers and goals we wish for, to be delivered over night. The physical Universe professes this lesson so well. Solar systems, stars and planets, all the way down to trees and the atoms in our bodies, all have tremendous life spans. IT IS US, that live short and rushed lives. As we fly impatiently through our years, trying to fit it all in before that great unknown devours us. And in this 'flying' we often, or at least I often habitually and subconsciously expect the seeds I plant, to sprout and show within the hour. This, of course, we all know is foolish, yet somewhere in my silly mind there is still that genetic impatience, always silently whining and complaining as it knows only 'want' and the never ceasing "time limit" of our lives. But all this, especially this so called "time limit" goes only as far as our new born minds know. I always try and remember this, but there seems to be a part of me that simply does not get it. Oh well, just another portion of my being to understand, i won't get bored that's for sure. :)

Thanks Sandy, for your time,thoughts and always... your inspiration. :kiss: :hithere

And thank any readers out there, who are always free to express here. :hithere
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Interesting...

(59.3) 4:4.7 In science, God is the First Cause; in religion, the universal and loving Father; in philosophy, the one being who exists by himself, not dependent on any other being for existence but beneficently conferring reality of existence on all things and upon all other beings. But it requires revelation to show that the First Cause of science and the self-existent Unity of philosophy are the God of religion, full of mercy and goodness and pledged to effect the eternal survival of his children on earth.
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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I only recently discovered that it was Tolstoy that wrote;
Love hinders death. Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. EVERYTHING IS, EVERYTHING exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.
This quote alone makes me feel the intensity of our individual Oneness with all life and also sums up my personal life experience for rest of my days. Daron in a nutshell.
But all the more iteresting to me is that growing up in the early 80's in inner city New york, i was wonderfully exposed to many different cultures and was graced with much knowledge of the still remnant African american culture of the mid 60's to early 80's. A society that was rich in philosophy and Love. It was growing in these times that i learned of inner strength to overcome hardships, the Power of living in Love, and to live with heart. It was growing in these times where i heard Tolstoy's grand observation, translated ever elegantly into
Everything is everything.
This was always so poetic to me, but it took many years of youth and ignorance to get to a point where I was clear enough to really take it in. That possibly what we see as good and bad, necessary or unnecessary or even right or wrong, is in fact all the same. All of the same source? Everything is everything?
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Lately when I seem to be in groups of very old friends, and sometimes new one's, I find that the words flow much like they do here. It has not always been this way.
As of late I see the attention that is shared, it's like i learn as i speak and they learn as we connect, i can't find the words to desciribe this, literally. It is a mutual openness that I have never experienced in person, from those I know. As of late the conversation often shifts to the deeper aspects of Life, structures and patterns and the unknown in our everyday lives. To me this is new, In the city where i am from, closed mindedness is a taught safeguard, no belief=no sucker. That if you simply ponder an unusual idea you may run the chance of, being let down, or backing something that was wrong all along,this train of thought seems material. No belief = No sucker...this is a dangerous equation. I state it so boldly because I find tremedous balance and value in learning from my mistakes as they happen, and I had made this one equated mistake for over 15 years. It is, in a way dangerous,as it often brings about that ever scary notion, that we are alien among everything else. That we were somehow dropped here and all else can Love and hurt us, that we are not part of it all,that we are all separated...that we are alone. So when I find myself in the middle of a self sparked conversation on the unknown, I try to be the selfless middle man. I know from experiance and from that of my inner voice, that this a crucial time, some may back into a corner with there observations and opinions and feel that whatever they may say at that moment may be held against them and they may have to defend or explain something they just wanted to openly ponder. This i see keeps one's mind from expanding, I see they can retreat quickly to their corners of the room. I find such joy in how they and I can easily be encouraged to flow freely...with a little show of appreciation of each of their individual intelligences. I like to slowly and selflessly, share what helps me to enjoy and gain much knowledge from the wonders of many different perspectives.(Must be selfess,or it will be ingenuine) I always tell myself "Take everything to the point of belief, but don't believe it entirely". I wonder if the Celestials would agree, that would seem a contradiction to a mortal mind like mine. HaHaHaHa.
They seem to open up to this and say "wow". I have been getting many wows lately, and I know it is not entirely me behind almost all i say and do. Because I feel nothing for wows and compliments, as if they were praising someone elses work. why would I feel thanked?
I find a deep peace and renewal after I realize that I have been given the opportunity to wave them out of their own corners of the room, and call them to the center, so that we may have communion. I learned this is like exercise for the Soul . Bless each and every "side of the story", every different reflection of the same image. If we did not have that, we would each see ourselves only one way. :kiss:
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Checking back on this thread a bit, I see that I mentioned Facebook. I like to tell positive stories that occur in my life. This is from a story I see now, is indeed inspired Lightwork.
All of my life, i've been told not to trust anyone outside of myself. For there lies a danger to everything i am. This is important advice. But as I became older, i wondered "who will be the ones to break this cycle?", "who will be the one's to break free of this Fear and charge head on into this danger?' "Are we happy that we must live in a shell for generations?" Day after day these thoughts would grow inside me,to a point where the fear was so small in comparison to the will...the need, to alter this danger. i never speak of what I give away to strangers. indeed family and friends deserve all the Love I can give, but i know deep in my heart that it is the strangers in our lives that truly need this Love.
I often gave change like many others but these days I have been fortunate enough to carry food with me. And have shared many a post-workout snack with hungry strangers. these days panhandlers do not approach me, it is I who approaches them. In one extraordinary moment of clarity in my existence, i saw through a sea of people, a man drifting amongst the crowd like a tired ghost,he was invisible, but not to me. I made a nodding gesture calling him over to me and said "are you hungry brother?" He shyly said "yeah, a little" I said "try this, it's sweet but will pick you back up", I allowed him to grab a few pieces of figs from a bag i was carrying, and although lest his hands be dirty, i didn't care. This man was no wild animal,he was an animal like me, he was my reflection under different circumstances. I watched calmly as his face became lighter. He gave me a fist to fist farewell and said "Good standing out man". I handed him a fresh banana and said farewell, never once did he ask for money.
It was a valuable lesson to me, that Fear will keep us all inside, Fear will entrap us.
I have done this dozens of times after... and the danger I have heard so much about, has never appeared, but my eyes and mind have been widened.
My Love has grown.
This was my way of slowly shedding that "New york state of mind". It is no longer a part of me. :loves
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Hello Daron,
It was with pleasure I read your last offerings and the story from your life warmed me as I pondered the light of this new day and the wealth of potentials within it.
It has been a busy one already for this late riser... and I have had some time to think as I walked to the bakery for a multi seed filled loaf of bread. Sometimes those lonely walks are good for the soul as I finally become quiet enough to hear above the chatter.
Anyway, had some lovely encounters with people along the way. Met the baker for the first time and he was a lovely man with the cleanest kitchen I have ever seen in my life! :shock: The largest part of his work day was behind him and he was waiting for his relief, the young people who will peddle the goods he created while we all slept.
It is nice to meet new people to share a bit of each other's lives. It is clear to me that opportunities abound where ever we look, but not just for others for us as well as in each encounter we take something away with us as well...
I loved this from your previous post...
Bless each and every "side of the story", every different reflection of the same image. If we did not have that, we would each see ourselves only one way.
:sunflower:
Have a beautiful evening. :hithere
With love,
Sandy
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Re: Overwhelmed

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:bana: :hithere Thank you for joining me Sandy, i feel you have stepped into my thoughts and shared beautiful experiences of your own, this is a lovely feeling. Sometimes i get a little gloomy when i realize how different my time zone is from many here, when I'm closing my eyes, You and many here are just opening theirs. But it is equally sweet. As you have said, we can all communicate with and effect one another in many ways.
Anyway, had some lovely encounters with people along the way. Met the baker for the first time and he was a lovely man with the cleanest kitchen I have ever seen in my life! The largest part of his work day was behind him and he was waiting for his relief, the young people who will peddle the goods he created while we all slept.
It is nice to meet new people to share a bit of each other's lives. It is clear to me that opportunities abound where ever we look, but not just for others for us as well as in each encounter we take something away with us as well...
I would Love to take a solo stroll to the bakery, it is in these times alone that i learn much about myself and the world around me. It gets very busy and tense here in the mornings, many are tired and do not want to go where they must, so we all sit and stand quietly preparing for the day. I Love them more so, for this perseverance. I am so glad to here and learn that even though we are in almost opposite places, the Divine source always finds a way of delivering us an opportunity to affect the world. This is comforting, that we can even be locked up and still make a ripple. We definitely do take much from our encounters, even if unpleasant i suppose. I am thrilled when i hear of anothers experience in changing our world through encounters, and I am ecstatic to hear yours Sandy, you inspire me on many levels.
Let us continue this, and never forget our value to the web of all things. Much Love to you and George! :kiss:
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by ~*Star_Struck*~ »

Hi Daron :hithere i seem to have missed this thread entirely!
CityLight wrote:I think my meditation has been ineffective, I believe it has broadened the clarity of my thoughts and sometimes when not meditating i ask questions and before i would finish a question I would get an answer in my mind. the answers sometimes surprise me as I did not see it in that point of view. And the answers were correct. Is this how it works sometimes? I really feel my meditation is lacking. I am aware that it will take time to make any kind of contact but i feel I am going at it wrong. I've tried Different ways and audio to no avail. although there almost always seems to be a moment where i feel a wave of emotion, enough draw out tears, but I dont understand why. Love,Daron :loves
After discovering this website, i of course discovered the Akashic Construct, and it worked so incredibly well for me. I worked on each exercise for a length of time before i was able to make contact, but through steady practise my meditations became so incredibly joyous for me. it does take some time though. During meditation i made contact with celestials, i met my spirit guide several times and it became so that she was often waiting for me, and i would feel her arms wrap around me and the love pour from her. There was huge emotion for me and i've often felt so blessed to know that i am surrounded by such love. after meditating i feel a real lightness to my heart. I just wanted to share that with you.
I definitely relate to what you said about asking a question and getting an immediate answer in your mind. this happens to me too, i also sometimes get an answer before ive even finished asking the question in my head.

Love
Star
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Re: Overwhelmed

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CityLight wrote:Hello and thank you Jack6251! :hithere Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience in this current stage. I would love to share prompts sometimes. Since it's pretty big here in the city, there are so many ways this occurs. In a way it is a part of what caused the overwhelming feeling(not to blame reasons other than myself and my current infancy of understanding what is happening here).But there are just two very important ones that I feel i should really share. I know in my heart that if there were ever a place that I should reveal myself, my love, my dreams and my 'shame' it is here.
The first one i mention, because for me it is new and I would love some information of the significance of these groupings.
It's been about 2 to 3 months since i became aware of the prompts. I rarely see 11's much anymore but i am getting many 22's, 44's a lot of 33's as of late and 55's very often. I see these as beautiful 'we are with you always' prompts, but this is not unusual, what is unusual is only recently (these past 3 days)have i started to see 2244's 3355's , Twice today phone numbers on the t-shirts of people at my Gym 2 seperate people in a few minutes time(it really encouraged my workout. Billboards, restaurants, license plates. I feel i really shouldnt look for deep meaning in these prompts as they are in a way a heads up or a means of getting my attention, but now that the message to get involved has been received by me i should focus more and relax on these numbers. There is so much happening in a small time, The seeds in which i planted erupted very quickly, Fresh fruit and vegetables for my neighbors, gifts for no reasons to friends in the gym(the look I recived from these people who know mostly fear and intimidation illuminated my heart so strongly). But the after effects of the many offerings of love that i gave erupted into full swing so soon after. The right people at the right times, the right moments and situations that would help me in bettering myself came in abundance it was so engulfing. I didnt know what to do with all the joy i was feeling.

The second is very difficult for me to write. I do not wish to lose the interest of so many wise people on these boards, but i cannot hide what I am, i must dissolve this shame. I have been a marijuana user for many years. I have, in these years drifted into moments of complete abuse and dependency and back to moderation. The 1,111 have changed my outlook on all things. I VERY slowly started to see that it was in fact a hindrance to any improvement i wish to make, spiritually and evolutionary. About one week ago, when everything started to become so very big, i pulled closer to marijuana, it was as if my physical and psychological aspect were telling me that more and more of this would bring me closer to understanding, it was indeed a dangerous crossroad. it began when a family member mentioned briskly that i had been smoking a lot more than usual, I did realize this as i heard those words but not until the next day did it 'floor' me. For months before the prompts, I made it a rule for myself not to smoke four hours before bed, because of the extreme grogginess i feel when i awake. But those past days i had started before sleep again. After a smoking binge i get up very early very groggy, eat breakfast and for the first time in 7 months i smoked before going to the gym. I headed out to the bus stop, the bus pulls up, Bus number '3666', I get on thinking that it is coincidence as i have become more relaxed on every physical aspect, no more fear of missing a meal or relentless workouts that i "must keep to" no matter what. As the bus ride proceded i take a look at all the very different and special people on this crowed bus as i do everyday, And as if i heard someone call me(not really) i pull my head to look out the window and out of all the trucks and cars and people and stores and signs i could have looked at...the very first thing i saw was "6366" on a repair shop window sign. I think to myself "Ok, i'll keep my eyes open today because the 6's ceased the first weeks. I said in thought as the bus went on,"what could this be about? really big I thought "THE MARIJUANA", "MARIJUANA". I arrive at the gym where only once did i see 66 only on a repair number for gym equipment, but i said maybe i'm just to excited about all thats happening lately, "Dont see signs in everything,Daron' So i head home wanting to smoke again. When i get in to my apartment i go straight for the phone as if i were expecting a call, i dont usually do this but I really did feel like my friend was gonna call me for some reason. The only call on the phone was a random NY number' 'New york (***- ***-6667). I got the message, and although i feel my physical aspect stomping and saying i dont wanna stop, I know what should be done now. I have barely gone near it. i wish I could say completely But For someone who smoked all the time, i figured i could maybe get a little slack. :oops:
I hope this helps someone out there. Because you are all really helping me as well.
What do you think of all this Jack6251? I hope Sandy understands.
Dear Daron
I myself am a chronic marijuana user. As you know, i am bipolar with many issues, and i have self medicated my depression for years with it. 11 years, i think it is now. When i started using it as 15 it was just a bit of fun, and i still enjoy it immensely. However i now realise that its my crutch and i must learn to walk without it. im not saying this is true for you. but i personally hope one day i can leave it behind because i no longer need it and have moved past it.
I don't do any other drugs, and i very rarely drink alcohol. Marijuana is a vice for me, in my opinion, because im so stressed out all the time and i want to relax! it gives me that freedom to drift away from it temporarily. It also seems like it gives me some sort of mood boost.
Thanks for sharing with me.

Love
Star
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Re: Overwhelmed

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:hithere :bana: Hey Star! Thank you so much for the advice. I seem to have posted in a very quiet corner of the boards :lol: But even though i was hard to find I am very happy you have joined me here, very happy! :sunflower: I just ordered the Akashic construct CD, I think a lot of my difficulty with learning to meditate properly is the kind of meditation videos i'm starting with. I think your advice will help.
i met my spirit guide several times and it became so that she was often waiting for me, and i would feel her arms wrap around me and the love pour from her. There was huge emotion for me and i've often felt so blessed to know that i am surrounded by such love.
That made me tear up, I long for this so much, to communicate and make some kind of contact, i wish to say "thank you" with all my soul. But i can be patient, that's one thing i learned along this spiritual path, anything forced will not be as sweet as it coming about through natural flow. Thank you for sharing with me. :loves :roll

The marijuana use for me became a very big crutch, it is hard to see something we enjoy so much for so long as actually stifling us from getting out of a tight spot. I think my use was from 20 until 31 and i dont think i ever skipped a day until i went to Canada. One thing i did notice is that it would help my depression at the time of use, but it would double it the next day...unless i smoked again. I tell those who are casual smokers that when it becomes a 24 hour morning to night habit, that it remains in our systems and actually causes a very irritating feeling and a tired sorrow that requires more smoke to ease, not until i quit did i realize this. It actually has it's own type of hangover. But i'm pretty sure it could have been the type of plant i was using. Maybe your experience is better. I have never really been a drinker, by choice and also my body seems to reject alcohol, I cannot hold my liquor physically as well. Im happy about that. :) I am so grateful you stopped by here, you have a beautiful and calming presence, i'm happy you chose to share it with me here. :kiss:
I have had an interesting week and would Love to share it here, i will post soon.
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Hello all :hithere , This week has been a little low and rather uneventful, besides challenges to my ability to forgive. These challenges are most likely just as important as making a positive ripple in the lives of others. So in an attempt to honor the better days, i will speak of my previous week.

It was a very enlightening week. I see that sometimes many opportunities arise where i have a chance to go out with and connect with new and very old friends. There was a time in my life where all who new me, would never even bother to call and ask me if i would like to join them for lunch or a nice drive. I suppose all the times they called and stopped by to ask me, they eventually realized that i may never say "ok, i'd like that". When i think of that now, i feel shame and that I may have caused them to feel less hopeful, not only about my relationship to them, but to life itself. To see someone they hold dear actually hiding from life, is not a a site behold. It is now my very great pleasure to say yes without hesitation, as a reward for their patience and unwavering friendship. This week i got a call from my close friend and he asked me if i would like to go for a ride and pick up another dear friend of ours, we have been buddies since we were children. It was extremely hot out and i remember many times i would not have even answered the phone just to avoid the disappointment of having to say no, hiding from the heat, from the crowds, from life all together. I could here my inner voice, "dont be afraid...this is for you. this life experience is for you...do not hide" I thought deeply about this, "how could i be afraid of the heat?" "yes i will sweat, yes it will feel uncomfortable, but this is our weather. It would not BE if wasnt, why should I feel that this heat is not meant for me and everyone else? I am part of it." So i, with great joy accepted and was able to say "Sure! Sounds good, i'll be ready" The pleasure in my old friends voice was uplifting and redeeming. :roll
As my friends often do, they decided they were hungry and we all agreed to an impromptu lunch. This to me was LIVING! Funny jokes, deep conversations and a very unexpected moment that really brought my connection to all things, to the surface. We sat and talked and ate lunch outdoors, when two pigeons approached me slowly from behind. They circled me and kept coming back. My friend suggested "Try feeding them by hand" I grabbed a grain of rice and pinched it between my fingers. With humility and respect in my heart i served this animal, and with understanding, it pecked it with such courage right from my grasp. The other came and i continued to serve them. It was beautiful. An elderly woman with a cane stopped to see if it was actually happening, they snatched a piece and her face changed entirley, i saw such joy surround her as she said "Wow!" I would call them over and they would approach over and over again. I fed those chubby little dudes a lot of rice. the funny thing is my friend tried but they would not take it, he said "look at that man, they just come right up to you...they Love you." I heard myself whisper inside "I Love them too". Many funny jokes followed and it really set the mood for the day. We spent much time together that day until the late night hours. There was nothing i could have done at home alone that would have compared to that day.

This very same week, i was invited to my cousins fiance's birthday party at a restaurant in the big busy city. I once again heard my inner voice, "this is for you, this is a valuable opportunity for you to learn and to Love." These are moments i would have dreaded a year or two ago.
But instead of allowing my mind to "predict" the outcome and succumb to Fear, I followed the guidance of our unseen dear ones, and became courage, became Fearless. I went out the very next day and bought a nice dressy shirt and fancy slacks, and prepared for what I knew was not a threat, what is meant for my soul, for my evolution. The day approached and still i felt no anxiety or Fear. This was new to me, i always bit my nails and paced back and forth until the very moment arrived, NO LONGER, NO LONGER will i serve Fear, my dear celestials, i thank you with my every being, my every atom and every fragment of the creator within me. You have freed me from my own prison. (Tears) My dear friends reading this, do not fear what is meant for you, do not hide. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FRAGMENTS OF A GREATER SOURCE. :love Throw yourself into that fear and burn it away as if tossed into flame. Share your beauty with all the world. We need you. <3
That night as i prepared my clothes to go, i spoke aloud and and for a brief moment found myself saying, "we Love you Daron...we are so proud...you are FEARLESS." Tears rolled down my face as I felt this Love and felt this fearlessness. I felt the freedom.
I stepped out gift in hand, a lovely bunch of colorful flowers and still alive in the soil. I wanted them to still be growing for her, i wanted "Life with color" to be there in her home. I set out with my cousin and we get to the city, boy it was a sight. It had been a while. As we crossed that New York skyline, i never felt more at home. The city glistened in the night. Twinkling with thousands and thousands of life stories and events...one which will soon be mine.
After a long search for a parking space :lol: we set out on the busy streets. It was a city alive...alive with all types of people on all corners on all streets. Conversations erupting at every turn. Smiles and laughter and movement, bikes and cars, buses and taxis. I felt blessed to be calm and clear to see it all. As we appraoched the restauraunt, i could now see that this was no eatery, this was a night club. The great source and celestials have guided me to a New York city Night club. :o Still i felt no Fear. Inside me stood the ever cemented wall of knowledge and Love, sturdy with the understanding that whether strolling alone through grass and trees or in the depths of a dark dance club...I am always where i need to be. I am home. We decended into a place called "La Caverna" (The cave/cavern). Indeed it was, a very tight spaced low lighting place packed with groups of people dancing and singing and drinking. The place was built to resemble a cave, rock on the wall stalactites on the ceiling and all. I felt like looking for bats. :lol: Still no Fear held me. I gave my Loving greetings to old and new friends alike, and started to observe and learn without judgement, through eyes of Love. I even had 2 to three drinks! It had been at least over a year, but that voice inside is ever monitering, I remember it saying "yes, go ahead...ok one more only,anything more and you risk blurring your clarity and so lose sight of the lesson here" I of course followed this and had the time of my life. I didnt want to leave! I actually danced with my dear friend, She shouted over the extremely loud music and said "I'm just gonna dance with you, even if you don't ok?" :lol: Soon that fearlessness erupted and i replied "I will definitley join you", and somehow i knew how to dance. I never dance. :lol:
The most incredible moment was, (which i see know as the main reason i was called there) as i stood back against the wall in observation, my eyes panned the busy space back and forth. I looked upon may different people and saw a celebration, a celebration of life, of their only two days of freedom in a long week of servitude. I saw that deep in their hearts they knew...they know that they are free. I know many of us have fallen "in love", that feeling of observing someone being, and find them so endearing and adorable , that play our heart strings like master musicians. That night, i fell in Love with every one there. I deeply felt for them all, "such amazing and beautiful children they are,living as best they can with so little knowing" My eyes teared up in that New York city night club, as i fell in love with an entire population. All in all it was an enlightening experience long overdue, but as the voice in side says ..."Better late than never."
Love Daron :loves Very much
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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A quick word on a dream i had that same week. i sometimes find myself getting a bit short tempered with close family members when they carelessly cause very negative ripples in life for very meaningless things, I do not shout at them or condemn them, but do point it out. This causes me to feel a deep lonliness inside. In thought, in feeling, in being. After an encounter like this, i fell asleep for an unexpected nap, and began to dream. In this dream i am walking with family and friends into what seemed like a very light blue train tunnel almost as if made of ice, but there were no train tracks. I look around and everyone is walking separately 5 feet away from each other. I all of a sudden become engrossed in sorrow, i look and see that they are all skeletons, I grab one crying out loud "I"M SORRY...I"M SORRY!" The skeleton i held and all of the others began to melt and disintegrate into a greenish glow, i soon stood by myself. I staggered head down into a side room apparently, still bright and blue, Where I hear a voice, loud and clear all over as if from a loud speaker. It calmly and peacefully asked me "WHY DO YOU DO THIS?" i immediately replied in tears "because i'm alone" it clearly and simply said "WE ARE ALL ALONE"...and i woke up. As i still sleepily stared at the wall not knowing what it was all about, i began to cry. And at this time a thought appeared in my mind "We are all one" The image of the big bang appeared in my mind soon after. Not until later that day did i realize, "ONE" "One is singular" "One is alone" Are we all fragments of one source? Alone by nature. Was the great creator alone? Is this why we search for people and relationships and material things to fill this hole of loneliness? Is it forever? is it divine? I still get emotional now when i think of it. Although I think it has somehow enriched my life. I Love you all.
Daron.
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Dear Daron,
I can see that this was an emotional dream for you. But take heart. We are not doomed to a life of loneliness. because we all carry a special part of the Divine One, the Creator within us. It is true, "we are all one."
In addition, we are all made up of material emmitted from the Infinite Creator. This Universe God-fabric contains his essence connecting everything and everyone. It is an amazing thought to think that a simple object...my little and long cherished teddy bear mug is made of of material that once issued from this unimaginable distant place.

Just yesterday I came across a bit of a transmit that was posted elsewhere but it applies to your questions... So I found it in our celestial messages forum. Here it is my friend.
“Mindsets in Disrepair.” -- Machiventa Melchizedek.

by Sandy » Fri May 25, 2012 1:15 pm

Illawarra District, Australia, May 20, 2012.
Machiventa Melchizedek.
Subject: “Mindsets in Disrepair.”

Received by George Barnard.

Machiventa: “It is good to spend time with you, and for me to enjoy your presence and new-found energy. In the months just past there were many (human) healers on your side of the fence who offered their prayers and sent you energy for you to mend when you needed that. Also there were many (celestial) healers on my side of the fence who did their very best. It is good to see you are in better shape. This is Machiventa, and, naturally, I jest.

“We would all be on the same side of the fence, if really there was a fence, but there is no division. We are one. We are each other. From our celestial viewpoint, we simply cannot be separated. It is from your trivial human efforts in the analysis of our possible connectedness that you see separation, total separation at times, for the pendulum swings and has swung to the extremity of its sweep. Humanity approaches a difficult to navigate crossroads.

“Truly, the appropriate path to take – for you simply cannot forge ahead – is clear to your celestial Teachers and Guides. To the human majority your future is opaque, laden with fears of hardship, poverty, extreme governmental overcontrol and rumors of war. What we witness from the time-distant sphere that makes us invisible to you is that you have become unclear about your purpose in life. From the lowest worker to your so-called elite, your mindsets are in disrepair.

“You were entrusted by the Creator of all, who remains indeed a part of you, to progress His universes to the delight of all creation. You were collectively assigned the task of being the gardeners of all his myriad planets from here to untold lightyears away in all directions. He delegated the care for your brothers and sisters to you, all of you capable of caring. In doing these things, consciously, willingly and tirelessly, you are doing the Creator’s Will.

“It is time to consider the appropriate path to take on the crossroads you are fast approaching. It is time to ‘rearrange’ your disparate mindsets towards a common goal of no more wars, no more sanctions, no more inequality, no more fables of imaginary enemies that breed real enemies in the end.

“I am Machiventa, the Melchizedek of Abraham’s time, proclaimed your new Planetary Prince by Christ Michael, pleading with you to ‘lift your game’ in this Correcting Time and recall your task to the Creator’s greater glory. I bid you Adieu for now.”

© The 11:11 Progress Group.
You lit a Flame, and it will become a Raging Fire—ABC-22.

... please know that you are not alone, even though your thoughts, words and actions may differ from those who share your life, there is a place for all of us in the heart of the Divine. We will all learn and grow and become our future perfected spiritual selves at our own pace... sometimes moving ahead rapidly and at other times perhaps taking two big steps back. (Obviously its gonna take me awhile at that pace. :lol: )
Truly, your greatest weapon is your loving being, your example of compassion and kindness as you live your life. Perhaps you can ask for answers, ways you can positively deflect the actions of those that cause the "ripples of negativity around you. Our greatest wisdom lives within us, afterall.

Hang in there. I have great faith you will discover what helps to dispel your loneliness. :kiss:
((((((((HUGS))))))))
Sandy
“We measure and evaluate your Spiritual Progress on the Wall of Eternity." – Guardian of Destiny, Alverana.
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by ~*Star_Struck*~ »

CityLight wrote::hithere :bana: Hey Star! Thank you so much for the advice. I seem to have posted in a very quiet corner of the boards :lol: But even though i was hard to find I am very happy you have joined me here, very happy! :sunflower: I just ordered the Akashic construct CD, I think a lot of my difficulty with learning to meditate properly is the kind of meditation videos i'm starting with. I think your advice will help.
i met my spirit guide several times and it became so that she was often waiting for me, and i would feel her arms wrap around me and the love pour from her. There was huge emotion for me and i've often felt so blessed to know that i am surrounded by such love.
That made me tear up, I long for this so much, to communicate and make some kind of contact, i wish to say "thank you" with all my soul. But i can be patient, that's one thing i learned along this spiritual path, anything forced will not be as sweet as it coming about through natural flow. Thank you for sharing with me. :loves :roll

The marijuana use for me became a very big crutch, it is hard to see something we enjoy so much for so long as actually stifling us from getting out of a tight spot. I think my use was from 20 until 31 and i dont think i ever skipped a day until i went to Canada. One thing i did notice is that it would help my depression at the time of use, but it would double it the next day...unless i smoked again. I tell those who are casual smokers that when it becomes a 24 hour morning to night habit, that it remains in our systems and actually causes a very irritating feeling and a tired sorrow that requires more smoke to ease, not until i quit did i realize this. It actually has it's own type of hangover. But i'm pretty sure it could have been the type of plant i was using. Maybe your experience is better. I have never really been a drinker, by choice and also my body seems to reject alcohol, I cannot hold my liquor physically as well. Im happy about that. :) I am so grateful you stopped by here, you have a beautiful and calming presence, i'm happy you chose to share it with me here. :kiss:
I have had an interesting week and would Love to share it here, i will post soon.
Hi Daron! :hithere
Im so glad to read you have ordered the Akashic Construct. It truly has changed my life.
After being on this site for a while, an old member was kind enough to purchase and send to me by post the CD.
I was very very excited, and so were my celestials!! on the day that it arrived, i picked it up from my PO Box and went to work. That day i was prompted so much i couldnt believe it. i must have seen 50+ prompts, just everywhere i looked, and every few minutes i would feel this incredible urge to look at my phone, only to be hit over the head by another one. I could not wait to go home and start work on the AC, and i could feel their joy as well as my own. It was a very important step for me, and it changed everything.

Sandy, i loved the message that you shared. it seemed to resonate so much for me. Thank you for sharing.

Love
Star
Now i know the answer to the question:
Do dreams come true?
Still staring at the world
Through my rear view.
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CityLight
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Re: Overwhelmed

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Hey Sandy And Star!
... please know that you are not alone, even though your thoughts, words and actions may differ from those who share your life, there is a place for all of us in the heart of the Divine. We will all learn and grow and become our future perfected spiritual selves at our own pace... sometimes moving ahead rapidly and at other times perhaps taking two big steps back. (Obviously its gonna take me awhile at that pace. )
Truly, your greatest weapon is your loving being, your example of compassion and kindness as you live your life. Perhaps you can ask for answers, ways you can positively deflect the actions of those that cause the "ripples of negativity around you. Our greatest wisdom lives within us, afterall.

Hang in there. I have great faith you will discover what helps to dispel your loneliness.
Thank you so much for these lovely words Sandy, i carry them with me at this moment. Thank you for that post, it is a deep reminder of the oneness of our being. Many many hugs for you. :love
Im so glad to read you have ordered the Akashic Construct. It truly has changed my life.
After being on this site for a while, an old member was kind enough to purchase and send to me by post the CD.
I was very very excited, and so were my celestials!! on the day that it arrived, i picked it up from my PO Box and went to work. That day i was prompted so much i couldnt believe it. i must have seen 50+ prompts, just everywhere i looked, and every few minutes i would feel this incredible urge to look at my phone, only to be hit over the head by another one. I could not wait to go home and start work on the AC, and i could feel their joy as well as my own. It was a very important step for me, and it changed everything.
Hey Star, I can even feel the excitement there. The CD hasn't arrived yet. I try not to think of things going bad most of the time, but i always get concerned that my mail will be stolen. I'm sure it will arrive soon. I feel that both I and the celestials are both in waiting for this CD. So much that I have actually stopped any other meditation. This is where i have gone wrong, but i will continue again until it gets here.
I missed you both very much, and I hope that we can share our experiences with the Akashic Construct together. I've been feeling so very unclear, i'm sure this has to do with my fuzzy connection to the source and my guide, my balance has been off. And for the first time since joining the boards my writing has become difficult, i struggle to find words, and they do not flow as they once did. I feel that what i write is from my heart, and if it is not, I will not write it. But I will be back.
:loves Your guidance is appreciated. Much Love for you my sisters. MUCH. :loves
I was a seed once planted long ago, nurtured and showered with the Love of others. I now sprout to feed those who gave that Love...and return the favor, tenfold.
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Re: Overwhelmed

Post by Sandy »

Hey Daron,
While the cd is a valuable tool... there is nothing better than some form of communion with our Gift of God within us every day. This is where we derive our strength our peace and harmony. But even so, there are days we can feel more "fuzzy" then others. (I am hearing the words to a song in my head... "Mother said there'd be days like this...there'd be days like this my mother said." :lol: ) It is only human to feel out of sorts from time to time as our bio rhythm perhaps hits some conjunction of lows, for one example. And then, sometimes hard things in our lives or the stress felt from those around us can knock us around a little. The important thing to remember though, is to be gentle with yourself...there is no pressure to preform and function perfectly. We are all just doing the best we can and that goes as well for your beautiful posts on the Message board. Whether you feel inspiration when you write or simply want to commiserate about life with a group of people who love and care for you ...it is all good. Life is about supporting each other...being fair and understanding with each other and that goes on the good days as well as the off days. When I am obviously having a bad day...yes, it shows...I feel it and others may as well...but would you think badly of me if I showed those cracks in my spiritual armour, would your roll your eyes and send me away...not to come back till I felt better? No of course not. :) So darlin, none of us here will judge you or hold your posts up to the light for testing for worthiness. We are all in this eternity together my friend and honestly, I cannot think of a better bunch of people to share that Grand adventure with.. :kiss:

So no worries...all is well...dear brother. Please write to your hearts content...we will just love you any old which way you are. :kiss:
With love,
Sandy
“We measure and evaluate your Spiritual Progress on the Wall of Eternity." – Guardian of Destiny, Alverana.
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