something i want to share

AiR1k · Post by **AiR1k** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:12 am

i feel that i get too involved in personal matters at time's- i guess that's what makes it ironic, seeing as it is a personal matter- something that needs to be looked at- and yet here i am saying i feel that i put myself further away then what is necessary.

it was and still is quite the conundrum.
sometimes i feel that i get lost within trying to find myself-
perhaps feelings of being loss can serve as a source to some form of being, "off-balance"

this much is for sure. with uncertainty comes great confusion... when this happens--> it's like i'm falling onto different, never-ending thoughts.

my mind might take a situation and create more then what is necessary- and then-> i am willingly pulling myself into whatever emotions that might be derived from such(whether this acknowledgment is conscious or not), the point being it is all self-created.

i'm not here to say this is good or bad, but i believe during times of depression- this mentality can be harmful to self. it's easier to manifest feelings of sadness, etc.

it is only recently- where i want to take a step back and get real. i want to be able to see things without rooting onto the subject. i feel that to do so would require a sense of detachment from it all- however,
sometimes i question this motif for ethical reasons. (i wonder if remaining detached for too long makes it easier to be deemed as portraying a, "heart-less" persona)

all of this boils down to mere blueprints towards the creation of who i am or who i want to be. when we see these things, we have a choice.

wanting to slow down... wanting to feel calmness...
i'm going to stop trying to be and just be.
it's not hard really, but my restlessness is a cause of the difficulty.
this is what i've been wanting to share with you all--
it's something my father told me late christmas eve/early christmas morning-
we had been talking outside,
right under the stars- sitting next to a warm fire...
:}.
sorry, enjoying that moment once more.
anyways-
he told me, "time is a test."

this saying has been presented to on numerous occasions.
what's real interesting is,
at specific time's i am finding myself looking back on things i might have remembered doing, seeing, writing, or researching- and it is then when something revealing happens, and it is then when i am reminded of what my father told me.

for example,
if it is something i had written a while ago. the meaning may have been different then the meaning i get from it now- or,
the meaning might be the same- but i would not have seen it on such a personal level until now. it's funny because in the beginning i don't really know why i am writing it- i just am... never once did i think: "oh hey, about a year from now i will stumble across this again and find some hidden meaning." it just doesn't work like that.

the universe works in mysterious ways.

if it is true that every thought has potential- that these, personal- yet meaningful epiphanies come by our way every now and again- the only thing distorting our vision is time.

if you're ever unsure about something you might be doing, remember to keep your eye's open
and remember that time, is a test.
just keep that in mind and see where you take you.
it's helped me and i am sharing this in hope's that you become impacted.

i hope you guys enjoyed the read
have a great day :}
just about to go to sleep and wanted to get that off my chest before doing so.
until then,
love.

Fatalrandomness · Post by **Fatalrandomness** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 2:17 pm

I feel that too almost always...Indeed its confusing...But i got no comments here.

----PEACE----

ChildofGod · Post by **ChildofGod** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:58 am

Breathe in........let go and let God..............breathe out.

Love and light

Liz

Child of God

MichelleP · Post by **MichelleP** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:17 pm

Hi Eric,

What great self insight you have here. And I will tell you that the more objective and detached you get the more love you will feel. Your emotions are becoming unconditional. The emotions become more clear and pure rather than the confused feelings that you go through when our ego is making up stories to try and rationalize life away. So keep plugging on ahead because it only keeps getting better. And keep talking to your dad. He sounds very insightful himself. Thanks for sharing.

Love,
Michelle

AiR1k · Post by **AiR1k** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:41 am

YAYY
thank you michelle!! >^______^<
(love)

and ty liz and fatal-
HUGS ALL AROUND AYE?
yes im in a good mood today.

Post by **Sandy** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 5:49 am

Hi Eric,
As always you have given me much to ponder. Even though your words may come from a personal place within in reflection of your own circumstances at the time, when shared with others they take on a life of their own and with the wisdom of the Universe behind them can impact others who are struggling with something similar.

I love the way you open yourself so fully in evaluation, yet understand what you are saying here about too much can be a detriment and prevent you from enjoying what is real in the moment.

"Time is a test." Thank you for that! Your timing couldn't have been better my friend. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Sandy

Petra Wilson · Post by **Petra Wilson** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 5:09 pm

yes im in a good mood today.

Good!

Love you Bro, Pet XXX

blue nova · Post by **blue nova** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:28 pm

eric wrote:

sometimes i feel that i get lost within trying to find myself-

this is natural when we find ourselves in deep communion with another.

we will lose sense of self...and gain sense of oneness.

this is good. for, we are all a part of One...yes ?

((((Hugs))))
anne

blue nova · Post by **blue nova** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 4:14 pm

try and ignore feeling of loss...grab onto that other feeling that is reaching for you....the longing/love/Oneness feeling. grab onto it and hold it with all your might...it will lead you where you want to go

((((Hugs))))

welfki · Post by **welfki** » Tue Jul 28, 2009 6:01 pm

blue nova wrote:try and ignore feeling of loss...grab onto that other feeling that is reaching for you....the longing/love/Oneness feeling. grab onto it and hold it with all your might...it will lead you where you want to go

((((Hugs))))

thanks anne

7 more post and i can return to the wonderful land of PM

jfarris · Post by **jfarris** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:09 pm

WOW, AiR1k!!

Didn't know that you and I had this in common, but I really understand what you are talking about!!

my mind might take a situation and create more then what is necessary- and then-> i am willingly pulling myself into whatever emotions that might be derived from such(whether this acknowledgment is conscious or not), the point being it is all self-created

My mind sometimes does the exact same thing as you describe. And when I have 'caught' myself in the depths of some mental scenario such as this, I was scared because it seems indicative serious mental issues. Or at least issues.

But the real kicker is when, as you said, the mental imagery is so vivd and engrossing that one reacts emotionally. To an artificial construct of one's own mind!

At which point it is very easy to not keep those feelings from affecting ones actual reality. That is, these emotions automatically intertwine themselves into reality, if the utmost care is not taken to prevent the same.

Fascinating, though!

That this penomenon occurs in others as well as myself.

Because when you think you are the 'only one' who experiences something like this, the isolating consequences are very detrimental in a life already tortured by depression (speaking of my own).

Love to all,

Jody