11:11 Angels Message Board

Human behavior is often viewed as static in the short-run. And when an individual is closely examined by its peers, the logic parameters leading to decision and action appear to be understood. But it is well-known that humans are evolutionary in behavior and progressive in mind as the brain develops. Unless one is deemed psychotic, humans are most likely to follow the logic they have developed for behavior – the code of social conduct. As more is experienced by the individual and wisdom grows as values shift, the person is likely to act in a different manner. I have little need to compare the behaviors of infants, children, teens, adults or seniors in order to prove this point. Humans go through constant growth overall, but have points of regression as well. For a stable human, there are peaks and valleys in the upward trend towards a more advance method of conduct – how the human operates and what principles they live by. This gradually changes over time. However, something which I will call a social cognition slip, occurs when a person slips into a previous form of behavior often used or associated with certain individuals.

A method of conduct that is used with certain people becomes engrained in the mind, so that individuals become certain social cues for others. The brain recognizes this pattern of behavior and stores it for later use, which is picked up by the subconscious when said individuals are introduced to the environment. A friend may create a calming atmosphere. A person may cause you to remember a certain inside joke. The presence of a coworker may induce you to horse around. An individual you have never trusted will cause internal tension or stress. The mere sight of an old bully will cause anxiety or hostility. These things alone are normal cause and effects in a social environment. What makes these into social cognition slips is the amount of time that passes.

It would seem irregular for someone who has grown to adopt a certain method of conduct to suddenly change gears after interacting with strangers. It would also appear strange with individuals he or she has not seen in several years. Both have progressed and regressed at their own pace. Their identity has seemingly altered with age. But the brain takes past interactions with the other person and makes them relevant to the current interaction. The past becomes the present, and individuals may experience an old form of thought processing and social discourse, essentially projecting younger versions of themselves. This desire to go back to the “old days” is most likely a mechanism in which the personalities are better able to avoid friction – stemming from the many changes humans go through in life – or the deeper level of thought required for analyzing new situations. It is the reestablishment of past ties and the resurrection of old feelings. It is a state of permanence in the presence of change.

Hi overmind!

I enjoyed your essay. I think about this topic a lot.

I wonder if you were thinking at all about patterns within relationships, because that's what your essay reminded me of. I've been talking about this with a friend a lot lately. You seem to have skirted right up along the edges of the topic, and I wonder about your thoughts on this.

Thanks for another chance to go inside!

With love to you, Michele

I haven't thought much about individual relationships, just how relationships in general influence human behavior.

Well something in your essay, about how responses to people become ingrained and may echo a preconception or experiences of the past, reminded of pattern people. I think there's a Buddhist idea about this . . . that some of the folks who come into our life aren't even real, they're just there to teach us a lesson of some kind. I tend to think they're real -- their hearts truly beat -- but I like the idea of people appearing in our lives as an instrument of our own growth, and I've witnessed it in my own life.

As far as pattern people go, my idea is that a certain type of relationship can occur repeatedly throughout our lives. I've for instance had many people who come toward me who are looking for a connection with someone, but run like hell once they've found that it is indeed genuine. That's a pattern. It might be a lesson in those people's lives as well, but that's separate from me, I'm the common denominator here. So it's caused me to take a look at what it is about my own personal psychology that attracts such people who aren't quite ready to meet me halfway.

I think a pattern can play out to any end at all, but when you notice recurring themes to relationships and you're the only thing these people have in common with one another, there's nothing to do but turn within to gain greater understanding of the higher (or deeper) meaning.

So that's something your essay reminded me of, as you were talking about the various responses we have to people who enter our lives. A response can be ingrained; for instance often with supervisors and bosses I feel like I have to keep on their good side so I don't get fired. That's an echo from my relationship with my parents, who often 'fired' me when I was growing up. It takes the sting out of my fear of my boss remembering that he's unlikely upset with me, I just worry he might be due to that fear of authority which dates way back.

Thanks for your ideas . . . love to you, Michele

Your post reminded me of a thought I had, where people with authority may feel the need to exercise that authority under the fear that authority will eventually be lost or not respected. It is like one's authority is a form of responsibility on its own, so one must use that authority to serve some kind of interest. I guess you could say it's added pressure.

You know it's funny you mention that. That's the flip side (so a healthy antidote) to my fear of authority . . . remembering how foreign and undeserved authority must at times seem to the person in that position of power. I have often reflected on the fact that when my parents found themselves . . .well, parents! They must have each felt a slightly panicky feeling of "Oh, man! This little creature is alive, and it is solely up to us to keep her alive!" It's not the case that a parent, a supervisor, a CEO, a president, a pastor just automatically assumes such a mantle and is there feeling 100% confident about it. Any humble or sane person will feel a certain pressure, as you put it, and will struggle to exert just the proper mixture of authority and understanding.

Very healing ideas overmind . . .thanks! Love Michele

Chris!

Your essay succinctly explains a behavior that I have noticed many times in myself, in some cases as the situation/interaction is occurring. So you're saying that the social cognition slip is the reversion of thought patterns to something prior, less evolved? I suppose the length of time for which this reversion remains active differentiates the 'slip' from the norm?

To me, it is a most frustrating experience. To say, see an old friend, have a short conversation, realize presently you are being pulled 'back' into a skin you shed YEARS ago but be unable(?) to escape its draw. It happens.

Lucky for me, being obsessive and all, I usually clear myself of the influence immediately after. Like, I refuse to move forward or do anything else until I am saitisfied that I have returned me.

I just saw this forum had been created and I noticed you have several postings. Wonderful! Looking forward to digesting them all.

Love and Light, my brother!


Jody

It doesn't necessarily have to be less evolved or bad. I find it is just easier to relate to one another if we copy who we used to be when we last met, assuming you are actually close to the individual. There are certainly going to be exceptions though.

Hi Jody and all of you thought-filled loving people.
I forget this forum is down here which is a problem because it is easily missed. I am hoping when Geoff returns from his vacation (still two weeks or so away) he might be able to look into moving it into the main body of forums where hopefully it will be better seen.
Well, not immediately, as he will have lots of other things to catch up on and jet lag to contend with. But hopefully pretty soon it will be moved into a better position on the index.
love,
Sandy