Please Help Me. My Name is Luke. Please Help.

[Desertfish93]

Hello,
My name is Luke. I am 21 years old.
Over the last few months, I have been seeing 10:10 11:11 12:12 1:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 5:55 alot. I started screen shot-ing it on my phone and after now its just not even a thing. I literally Just see it all the time, I wish I could attach all 45 screen shots that I have from the last 5-6 weeks. (The screen shots do not represent the only times I have seen this) The first 2 weeks I took alot and now its just normal for me, its like not even a thing anymore. Look at the clock "O surprise surprise its 11:11"

I have also been having some strange dreams. One in particular that was incredibly vivid. (about 3-4 weeks ago)

It was if I was stuck in a loop of dying, as if that when I died in the dream I was teleported to a parallel universe to experience another death, I experienced about 30 of my deaths that night. I was aware in the dream that I was stuck in a loop of dying and each time I awoke moments before my death in a 'new universe' I tired to tell whoever was around me what was going on. In one in particular I died of lung cancer. I signaled to the doctors to take out my tubing that was breathing for me and the only words I could say to my mum were 'you have no idea what is happening to me.' And bang off to experience the next death. I was shot, stabbed, beaten, hit by cars, waking up in hospitals to give my last words to my grieving family. One poor soul said to me 'It will stop eventually, but you just have to wait.'

Finally I had experienced my last death. I was taken to a gate by a couple of 'people', but as they crossed through the gate I could not. I was not told I could not come across. I just could not cross.
I was taken up as if I had no control of my directory through space and on my way I tried to take as many things as I could with me. When I arrived at the gates I was met by human like beings, I could feel their power, intelligence and wisdom, understading and happiness. They laughed at me, trying to take money across the 'border,' trying to throw things over the gate which I could not pass. Standing on the other side of the gate was what I now believe to be god, an almighty being that I could just sense was beyond comprehension.

I was so mad at him, I told him 'how dare you take me, how dare you take me, HOW DARE YOU TAKE ME.' I yelled at him. 'I am not ready yet, I AM NOT READY YET.' He was just smiling and laughing. He told me that my money and my belongings were no good there.

I told him 'You must let me go back, I am not finished yet, I have more to do, more to learn, more to teach." He told me if that's what I really wanted he would, he sent me back. I awoke in hospital with my mum next to my bed and I told her "Its ok mum I met him, I met him mum, I met god. With that I woke up. Scared out of my beep-beep mind.

It is currently 2014. In 2011 I attempted suicide. I cut. I cut everywhere. Horizontally. From my wrists all the way up my arms, all over my torso, my legs, my face, my head. The big cuts being at my wrists and thighs (where I thought I would bleed from the most.) I had over 100 cuts on my body, 90 of them being pussy cuts, superficial bull beep-beep cuts, at the time it made me mad. I knew I had to cut deeper to die. So I did the cuts on my wrists and thighs were the worst, requiring over 50 stitches.

That night I dont remember dreaming, I dont remember falling asleep. After I had finished cutting. I put down the knife and lie on my bed. I lied in the bed that I had made for myself. I awoke to my sister screaming 'Luke NO, LUKE NO, LUKE NO. They called an ambulance. I was taken to hospital where I was made physiologically stable and was then carted off in an ambulance followed by a police car to a Mental Hospital where I spent the next week.

I beleive it was this night something happened. Something, someone, somewhere was looking over me that night and from then on. Strange things have always happened to me. I see unexplainable things all the time. Usually shadows patches of light whizzing around. And now over the last few weeks this. I feel a pressence around me always, sometimes a cool breeze that makes my hair stand up, some times i feel as if its right behind me looking over my shoulder. I can feel it here. It shares my joy, empathisises my depression, calms me down when I need it, hypes me up when I need it.

I grew up in a family where money was very tight, very very tight. We had none. So now, naturally, all I want is money. During a session of mediation I was on the topic of money. And I was asked by a voice that was not my own, "Why do you want the money Luke?" I answered "to help, to help everyone that has no money." Nothing was said but I just felt like it was the wrong answer, like as if I obtained money that I wouldn't use it to help. I would become greedy. Again it asked "Why do you want the money Luke?" I answered 'To live it up.' Again now words but I just felt that I had gotten the question wrong and I felt shame. Again it asked, "Why do you want the money Luke?" I answered 'security.' I felt that this was the right answer, that whatever was asking me questions without words had told me that it was the right asnwer. That session of meditiation taught me alot about myself. Before this expreience, I have never heard a voice in my head that wasnt my own. It was a deep voice, a very deep voice, it sort of echoed. A few days later, as I was going to sleep. I heard another voice that wasnt my own. It was the voice of a child. A male child. He said to me. "I am Mary's boyfriend." So I said who's Marry and all I heard is what sounded like a classroom of children chanting 'Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary.'

I don't know a Mary, and I dont know who Mary or her boyfriend is. As you can imagine this freaked me out alot too.

Any help would be much appreciated, anything. Whether you are going to tell me I see 10:10, 11:11, 12:12, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 becauase its mathmatics, statistics. Or whether you have something else for me. I am looking for answers.

Before this happened. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Now I know exactly what I want, and almost exaclty how to get that as if I have been given a map.

I know this sounds so strange. I am scared to talk to anyone about it because I dont want to be deemed 'Insane'

Please help me make sense of this.

Please help me.

Luke

[Geoff]

Dear Luke,

I feel for you. I hope you are not cutting anymore, but if you are, thats ok here too. Not as in its really ok, but in as much as we are not going to yell at you. I assume you do know that folks cut because they are so hateful of themselves that they have this incredible desire to harm themselves to get even with themselves. Its not your fault that this has come about, but you will have to be a part of the solution, because no one else can take you down the path of healing. And leaving this planet will not solve it either. In fact it will prove the very worst thing you have ever done. I do know, because my own sister went that way, and I tracked her progress in spirit for many years. Its a VERY hard road back.

As for the numbers, you are being inundated by prompts because the angels are really trying hard to get your attention. You are loved, you are worthy of love, and you should be seeking ways to heal this issue that you have, or have had.

In this forum you will get the explanation that invisible intelligent beings are trying to prove to you that they exist.

hugs
and know that you are loved.
Geoff

[Sandy]

Dear Luke,
Bless you. You have been through more in your short life then some of us in decades of mortal existence. I'm so sorry for the hard stuff you have been through. I could say it will provide valuable experience as you progress through life and into the realms to come after death, but that seems a little cliché because it hurts doesn't it? It hurts to feel confusion, to feel as if your life has no bearing, no possibilities, to find it difficult to see the future with optimism. (I've been there) Yet, you are so much more then your experiences and so much more within you then you can possibly know at this time. Because within you lies heart, "spiritual magic" that can turn the world into an array of wonders. And the numbers you are seeing relate to this wonder that is you. The celestials who prompt us see us with eyes untainted by our own sad dispositions at times. They see our potentials and they see us as siblings...beloved siblings who like them are participating in the adventure of eternity.
Please take heart from these promptings and know that you are cherished, not only by your angels and the Midwayers, who we speak of frequently, but a host of diverse personalities inhabiting the spiritual universe, most importantly God of course who would never leave his beloved child outside the fence. If anything, he would provide the "metal cutters to break you in. In all seriousness, though, there is a gift of God within you as we speak. Imagine the wisdom of the ages guiding you...what a gift! Discovering this awesome gift and aligning yourself ever more closely helps to eliminate the sadness, worry, confusion etc... just a touch at first anyway. And every bit, every little increment makes a huge difference in our well being as we let go of the past, participate whole heartedly with life in the present and project our future. Which in your last sentences you seem to be getting a handle on...

Before this happened. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Now I know exactly what I want, and almost exactly how to get that as if I have been given a map.

So that leaves you and your own exciting and eternal quest for answers... as it should be. Finding the solutions that speak to your heart and soul will be the single best thing that you can do for yourself. ( MY opinion once again of course. ) I'm just glad you've popped in and trusted us to hold your past gently. How could it be otherwise when we ourselves have pasts of our own that reflect some pretty harsh lessons.
Please make yourself at home and please do read the URL that Geoff provided as well as whatever else strikes your fancy. You are among friends here. Welcome Luke!
Love,
Sandy