Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Use this forum to ask or post about 11:11, 12:34, 2:22, 22:22 etc. The wake-up digital clock signals of our loving celestial friends. They also delight in flicking on or off street lights, traffic lights and ringing door bells.
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kmu2013
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Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by kmu2013 »

Hi All!

I'm thrilled to have found this group! I noticed the 11:11 phenomena a few weeks ago, although it has probably been taking place for a long time (at least a year). About a year ago, I came out of a functional depression due to the loss of my sister. We were extremely close. I took care of her while she was in a persistent vegetative state for 7 years. She passed away in July 2012 and I immediately had an awakening. It's like I'm a new person filled with happiness and gratitude.

I've been married for 8 years and during the past 5 years my husband has been emotionally and psychologically abusive to me. I begged him to change for years and I struggled with leaving my marriage because I have two small children and I was concerned about how divorce would effect them. A few weeks ago, I hired a divorce lawyer and decided to leave. I'm getting my own apartment and I served my husband with separation papers.

Last night, I searched 11:11 and 1:11 and had a spiritual awakening when I found out what this phenomena means. I think that my angels are nudging me to move forward without turning back. I'm concentrating on positive thoughts and praying more than I've ever prayed before.

My question to this group is are my angels telling me that my gut instinct is correct? I read about 11:11 on this site: http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogsp ... r-111.html and it really hit home. Every word in this blog is meaningful to me. I'm new at this and I need to learn how to trust my spirit guides and angels which (I think) are telling me to move forward and don't look back. My heart is telling me to move forward quickly, but I seem to still be hoping that my husband will change and we could keep our family together.Can you all provide any guidance and experience that you've had with this and the fear associated with moving forward?

Thank you.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by overmind »

Welcome to the board kmu2013, glad to have you!

Number prompts are indeed a way for the celestials, spirit personalities, angels, midwayers, etc., to contact humans for one reason or another. Usually it is used as a wake up call in order to spiritualize the thoughts of the individual. The same can be said with the synchronicity of events. I think it is great that your life is moving forward. Separation can indeed be a sad thing, but it can also be a fresh start. Obviously I cannot give much advice since I still know very little about your position, but you seem to be doing well. I cannot really interpret the messages of those on High (at least not when they are directed towards others), that responsibility rests on your shoulders. But even if you are being nudged in a certain direction, you ultimately have to make your own decisions and live with them.

A friend of mine actually suffered through a divorce, but it was a late one. And the years leading up to it were not very pleasant. I knew his parents and we generally got along. When I was young, I did not notice much tension in that family, but it was there. And I believe that if my friend's parents had divorced sooner, he would have had an easier time growing up. Seeing your parents grow apart and separate can be depressing, but seeing them fight can be terrifying. Luckily for me, I have ideal parents with an ideal marriage. In fact, it is like the perfect example of what marriage should be, and I am incredibly blessed to be their child.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by kmu2013 »

Thank you, overmind. Your response is very thoughtful and helpful. Your point is well taken when you said that "growing up with parents who fight can be terrifying." Moreover, I don't want my girls growing up thinking this is the way a husband treats his wife. My life is indeed moving forward and I feel uplifted. But I do find myself doubting and questioning what the angels and spirit guides are telling me to do. Do you have any guidance for allowing myself to trust this spiritual experience? How can I differentiate between my own thoughts and the guidance from my angels and spirit guides? Also, I think my husband has a mental illness because he doesn't sleep well, has some paranoia, goes to work during the week and comes home very late in the evenings, on weekends he sits on the couch and watches movies, and he sleeps in the other room with the door locked. I'm fairly certain he's not on drugs. He sees things in a completely different light from what they actually area, however. I'm actually not certain if it's a mental disorder or if it's pure evil. He stopped going to Church 5 years ago, stopped praying with us, and has zero interest in his family.

Thanks.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by overmind »

Do you have any guidance for allowing myself to trust this spiritual experience?
What I can say is that faith in God and whomever may be serving Him is worth it in the end. Interpreting spirit, or understanding the role of spirit personalities/angels/midwayers in your life, is a learning experience. It's always confusing at first since you never know which coincidences are set up or hold a greater meaning. You have to feel your way around, so to speak. No one is going to force you to make a certain decision, God does not coerce people, but we can be nudged in certain directions.
How can I differentiate between my own thoughts and the guidance from my angels and spirit guides?
The subject is even more complicated than you currently understand. Almost everyone possesses a pre-personal fragment of the Father in their mind, who's job is to spiritualize the thoughts of the individual. Basically, it is there to help us fight against our animal urges and to balance/silence the ego self. It indwells a child once he or she makes their first moral decision. This fragment can go by many names: the Thought Adjuster, the Father Fragment, the Mystery Monitor, the Indwelling Spirit, the Beloved One, the Inner Voice, the Higher Self, etc. If you were to look at this concept through the eyes of Christianity, you may simply view it as the Holy Spirit, although that term is mistakenly applied to quite a bit. It is through these fragments of the Father that we are able to grow immortal souls, which store everything of survival value that is created in this life (basically, all of our important experiences and what we have learned). It is a product of co-creative effort. The issue is, it is hard to sort what is from God (who has quietly been there for most of your life) and what is from your own higher consciousness. The voice of God (as well as your own inner voice) gets filtered down into your own subconscious, and it is up to your conscious mind to gradually pick up what has been lying there (this is the best way for me to explain it). Through meditation, we can communicate with our subconscious more freely. It is easier for these inner ideas and thoughts to run down your mental filter, because you are turning it off, or at least reducing its impact. Through years of meditation, you may figure out which thoughts are yours and which are not.

This all gets more complicated when you add the following two facts:

1. Your guardian angels, or some other type of personality, may be adding thoughts to your subconscious as well. This most actively occurs when we are seeking a solution to a problem. Even if you were to decipher God's voice, there will be input from those who have yet to introduce themselves. They cannot control/possess your mind however, the Thought Adjuster prevents this from occurring, so there is no reason to worry about that possibility.

2. These thoughts can easily be distorted by the individual. The mental filters I mentioned earlier include beliefs, emotions, perspective and the whims of the individual. This is why meditation is so helpful, it aids people in keeping their mind still, reducing needless chatter and judgement. The celestials will try to work with the concepts, values and beliefs you accept in order to reveal a certain truth or idea. Since we are free will creatures, they are not able to tell us what we cannot accept ourselves. We have to be open to new possibilities, or else our mind will reject what it is being told (like a defense mechanism).

I sincerely hope that this info does not turn you away or overwhelm you, but I can understand how foreign some of it may be since I did grow up as a (protestant) Christian myself. Regarding your husband, there are quite a few possibilities. I will think of some, but it is probably best to post what I have so far so that you are not waiting forever for a reply.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by overmind »

I am just going to provide a simple list for every topic. It will be a lot faster that way.
I think my husband has a mental illness because he doesn't sleep well.
sleep apnea
insomnia
bladder or intestinal issues
physical pain of some sort
emotional trauma
some other kind of disorder not mentioned
has some paranoia
An example would be helpful, unless that is too personal.
goes to work during the week and comes home very late in the evenings
He may work a lot of overtime.
He could be working a second job without telling you. (I have absolutely no idea what the state of your household is like.)
He could be going to a bar or meeting with friends.
He could be doing something behind your back.
(There are just too many possibilities in my mind, it could be almost anything.)
on weekends he sits on the couch and watches movies
I don't see anything wrong with that, although it depends on what he watches.
he sleeps in the other room with the door locked
If he is facing trauma of some sort, the locked door probably gives him a sense of security/safety.
He may not want anyone to wake him up, which would be very important if he was under a lot of stress.
He may enjoy privacy and doesn't want anyone to just walk into the room. I am actually the same way.
He may be doing something he doesn't want anyone to know about.
I'm fairly certain he's not on drugs.
Does this include alcohol?
He sees things in a completely different light from what they actually are, however.
An example would be helpful, but it basically sounds like he is quick to judge. This could be caused by a type of paranoia or may simply be a character trait, similar to being stubborn.
I'm actually not certain if it's a mental disorder or if it's pure evil.
If it's a disorder, it would be closer to amoral than immoral. There is a difference between losing the moral sense and going against that sense willfully. Personally, I think "pure evil" is an oxymoron. If it is anything, it is twisted. Just me mumbling... :silent:
He stopped going to Church 5 years ago, stopped praying with us, and has zero interest in his family.
Not going to church in and of itself is not a bad thing. In this case the reason and context is very important. The same with the praying. I do not know how you pray as a family, if it is simply saying grace or if it is something more involved. Personally, I avoid ritualistic prayer. I keep it personal, spontaneous and meaningful, but I am not insisting you change your ways as I know so very little and am in no place to judge.

Regarding the interest in family, examples and context is also important. For instance, I do not really care if my sister is in a play or musical (I don't care much for the performing arts), but I do generally care about how she is doing in school. Your husband may hold a mild interest in his children, but is simply too busy or distracted. Or maybe he feels guilty about something and does not feel worthy enough to receive the love or attention from his family.

Well, that is all I can think of at the moment. I still have very little to go on since I never met the person, so please do not take all of this too seriously. I can only guess. If you think he is suffering internally, then you should have a deep personal conversation, or get him to see either a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by kmu2013 »

Example - Paranoia:
Won't let the kids roller skate or do gymnastics
Blamed me for cheating. I've never cheated even though he refused to sleep with me since 2008.
He took a coat out of the closet and claimed another man left it there.

Example - Sits on couch every weekend:
He's Nigerian and he watches Nigerian movies on YouTube all weekend while we do things outside of the home like go to birthday parties, free museums, movies, etc. He's never once gone anywhere with us as a family -- and I mean never.

Example - He sleeps with the door locked in the other room:
I think he fears something.

He drinks alcohol, but I don't think he's an alcoholic.

Example - He sees things in a completely different light from what they actually are, however.
He blames me for every failure in our marriage. He basically has never paid bills, bought the children Christmas or birthday presents, or even said Happy Birthday to me or Happy Mother's Day. Just basically mean.

He says that I'm trying to control him by asking him to eat dinner with us and do things with us as a family.

I understand your point about Church and praying together. However, he prayed and went to Church in the past and all of a sudden said he didn't believe in organized religion and praying.

At the end of the day, I'm trying to figure out of he is a manipulative liar or has an illness.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by overmind »

Example - Paranoia:
Won't let the kids roller skate or do gymnastics
Blamed me for cheating. I've never cheated even though he refused to sleep with me since 2008.
He took a coat out of the closet and claimed another man left it there.
Yes, that is very strange behavior.
Example - Sits on couch every weekend:
He's Nigerian and he watches Nigerian movies on YouTube all weekend while we do things outside of the home like go to birthday parties, free museums, movies, etc. He's never once gone anywhere with us as a family -- and I mean never.
Right now it sounds like he can't handle responsibility. I would also be interested in what he is watching exactly, it may be impacting his behavior.
He blames me for every failure in our marriage. He basically has never paid bills, bought the children Christmas or birthday presents, or even said Happy Birthday to me or Happy Mother's Day. Just basically mean.

He says that I'm trying to control him by asking him to eat dinner with us and do things with us as a family.
This gives me the impression that he feels he deserves being taken care of, and the reason may be as simple as him being the man of the household. He sounds like a lazy freeloader shirking responsibility, but this may be related to how he was raised, and his father may have acted in a similar fashion.

I think I better end my input here (unless you want to talk about something else). I am honestly in no position to give marriage advice or judge others, and I'm not sure this message board is the greatest place for it either. I wouldn't say that you shouldn't have discussed it, I just haven't seen many examples of it on the board and I am still pretty new at moderating. :? Unfortunately, no one else has chimed in yet...
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by 11light11 »

Hi kmu2013!

I wanted to welcome you to the board, and thank you for sharing your story with all of us. I am happy for you about the joyous things you describe in your messages -- the awakening you experienced following the death of your sister (while I am so sorry at the same time for your loss); your recent nudges toward spirituality through seeing 11:11, and finally coming here. Welcome!

As for the sad choices you now face, my heart truly goes out to you, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Overmind's done such a beautiful job both explaining the nature of the Midwayers and Thought Adjuster in our lives, and as well, addressing your marital concerns. I had some thoughts as well regarding your last post, where you wondered:
I'm trying to figure out of he is a manipulative liar or has an illness
In fact, if a person is indeed a manipulative liar, they certainly suffer with an illness. However, one of the mistakes we often make when we are in a relationship with such a person is we feel we haven't the right to make changes for ourselves (e.g. leaving, as you are now considering doing), because this person is sick. If a person's sickness contributes to your overall feeling of being abused, then it may not be right for you. A dear friend of mine once said, "If you can only choose one person with whom to spend your life anyway, why choose someone you need to fix?" We can fall into a pattern where we go on trying to 'fix someone,' begging them to accept help and waiting to begin seeing the changes we so long for. But in the end, we cannot fix other people. Real changes can only rise up from within. No one else can make those changes on your husband's behalf, sad though that may be.

As overmind rightly said, no one but you can make these decisions, but it is helpful to keep this in mind. If you feel some commitment to 'helping' him as opposed to taking optimal care of yourself and your children, you can possibly examine that tendency and ask yourself what path feels most peaceful to you, moving forward. I have seen very kind people who worry about being 'unfair' in leaving an abusive relationship, because it feels like 'quitting' or like a 'failure' to give up and move on. If any of your reservations about leaving your husband lie in these kinds of worries, I thought I'd offer you the idea that we all have ranges of behavior. Everyone is capable of nice behavior, and everyone is capable of not-so-nice behavior. What we need to look at is the gap -- how large is that gap between the two extremes?

A normal person has a very small range. Their nicest behaviors and their worst behaviors are very close together. In other words, the meanest or least kind thing they'll ever do might be to get a big snippy when they're in a bad mood -- but they would never become abusive or neglectful.

The idea of a range is seldom discussed in our culture, and we tend to think in black-and-white terms. People are neither all-good nor all-bad, but instead they are more-bad-than-good, or more-good-than-bad. In the end, you might ask yourself which way you view your husband, keeping all these ideas in mind, and also meditating, and overmind suggested. I do think that might help. You've shared some with us here, but you know yourself, and your husband; we only have a rough sketch.

I'll be thinking of you and your family and praying for you. Welcome to your new home here!

Peace to you and with love and empathy, Michele :kiss: :loves :sunflower:
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by kmu2013 »

Thank you overmind and 11light11. I truly appreciate your insight.
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Post by 11light11 »

You're very welcome, and it's lovely having you. Keep us updated on how you are doing!

With love, Michele :loves
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by Sandy »

Dear Kmu,
You have been through so much! I am sorry and my heart goes out to you on the sad death of your sister.

In reading this thread I can honestly say I have very little to add in the way of advice as Overmind (Arthur) and Michele have spoken so beautifully on what they sense from your explanations of your husband and home life. It seems you have been struggling for a long five years and the pain must have been tremendous. I am so sorry! I can empathize with you coming from a former marriage where similar things occurred for 25 years.

I did discover, though, that there is life and happiness for me after divorce, that I was not responsible for my ex husband's happiness, his decisions or his thoughts and action. I am only responsible for the things I think, say and do and my own life flows for good, bad and in between because of these things.( And, in reality, my ex too found his peace and a new life as well after being forced to make a new life for himself). I guess what I am trying to say is that regardless of what you decide to do... your husband will still need to confront the issues that are making his life seemingly unhappy and unfulfilling. If you stay with him and he does not, then you may be looking at many long years such as the last 5.

But, I too feel that only you can decide what is best for you and even the celestials won't give you a definitive answer although we often wish they would. But it sounds like you are well equipped to make these decisions, having looked at the situation clearly and objectively. You have my admiration as you have struggled for these last years to somehow keep the home and family together despite extremely trying circumstances.
I hope and pray that you will find ever more strength, peace and fortitude as you continue to lift your heart to the Creator in prayer... and perhaps as the other's mentioned, you might consider daily meditation. It isn't, of course, an immediate "fix all" but it does seem to help put life into a better perspective and can help fade the emotional scars that this type of stress provides.

I just want to say that it is good to have you here, Kmu. Please feel free to come here and talk to us whenever you wish. We are much like family here and our greatest desire is to help others in any way we can. It can be rough out there and sometimes hard to find the way. knowing someone cares... makes a difference. Well... it certainly saved me all those years ago.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
With Love,
Sandy

Arthur and Michele... you guys touched me deeply with your inspired posts. I definitely want you both in my corner if I am ever in need of support and guidance. :kiss:
“We measure and evaluate your Spiritual Progress on the Wall of Eternity." – Guardian of Destiny, Alverana.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by 11light11 »

Right back at ya, Sandy! :kiss: :love We are a lucky bunch, that's for sure. :roll Your post was very moving, and the way you shared your life experience was so hopeful and so empowering!!! (I'm looking for a little muscle man showing off his biceps . . but this little ole' guy will do just fine!) :cheers:

. . .Hoping it's helpful, kmu, considering these perspectives! It's a tough road you're facing, that's for sure . . .but I remember an empowering line from a book I once read: "Damaged people are dangerous -- they know they can survive!" Truer words were never spoken. ;) After the ordeals you've faced in life, it's just as Sandy said: Diversity creates strength! You will prevail!

:bana:

We'll be on the case sending healing energies . . you just focus on yourself and what you sense about this situation, so that you can move forward in the way that is best for you. We've got you covered on our end!!! :love :kiss:

With love, Michele :loves
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by DAT »

Hi Kmu,

I wish you well.

I don't have much to share.

The Inner Voice, guardian angels and all our beloved celestial beings. They only speak one common language and that is the "LANGUAGE OF LOVE". They never speak of fears. The messages we often receiving from our guidances are mostly directing us to the Light. Most of the loving thoughts are likely from them. GOD our Universal Father is never favoured in any of his children. Even with the black sheep ones, GOD still loved them equally and unconditionally. How would you view your husband from the fatherly perspective?


I can feel you and your suffering. I'm praying for you and your family sooner to a brighter day.


I bow deeply in gratitude to the 11:11 Group for your loving service for all these hard years.

Much Love,
DAT
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"Look where love can see it, and only through the eyes of love you will see a better solution."
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by LurkerAbyss »

Hey there kmu :hithere

I haven't had a chance to go through all the replies yet and there is a lot more I'd like to say, but I wanted to at least get a response in to acknowledge you. I will start by saying two things: for one, welcome to the family! That is what it feels like here, a family, it is not often I've found a community as open and loving as this one, so I hope that you will feel comfortable being with us and sharing.

Secondly, if there's one thing I've learned over the last 10 years, it's that the gut instinct when it feels like your heart is telling you something, is so so so more often right than we realize.

Love
Lucky
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Love is the Essence of the Universe
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by kmu2013 »

Thank you all for your comments. I'm glad to be a part of this group.
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Re: Greetings! I'm new and separating from my husband...

Post by 11light11 »

Hi kmu! Was wondering about you today and sending you healing energies to get through this difficult time . . . How are you doing?

We're glad to have you too, and thank you again for sharing with us. Lots of loving flowing out your way . . . Love, Michele :loves
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