A Newcomer's Story

[JohnR]

Thanks for your kind words Sandy. I am having a hard time. I was the reason back in 1974 that my baby and I became separated. I can't forgive myself for that. Turns out I have never loved anyone as much as I love her. Everything was just so right when we were together. I have another question I may pose in another board. I am not going to find any peace in this world until I can get my head into the spirit plane and talk to some of the entities there. My desire is to speak with my baby herself if that is possible. I don't even know that it would be possible. I suppose it depends on what level a person is placed into upon arrival there. I have been praying Father please fill me with your Divine Love several times a day. Don't know if this will help out in fulfilling my personal desires or not! What is your take on being able to communicate with "dead relatives"?

[Sandy]

Dear John,
I am hoping that forgiveness, forgiving yourself, will come for you with time. I am sure that your dear baby forgave you the moment she looked upon your face with Joy again. And even now...she sees you with loving eyes, knowing that from her end there are many, many years (an Infinite number) that you guys can share together. Please consider that in life we make decisions the best we can under the circumstances presented at the time. Whether they turn out well or provide life lessons that chafe a little can often feel like a roll of the dice. Yet, think about it, if you had stayed with your baby many years ago, there is no real way of knowing how that would have affected the future as it is presented today. Every little thing we do from walking to the post office box to changing jobs affects the outcomes of our life. There is no guarantees that staying together then would have effected pure happiness in your lives. For me, a simple small decision to visit a friend in Ohio for 2 weeks changed in a huge way the flow of my life. I could wonder, where would I be now had I not gone that spring. But my life and all the moments of the past are just that, stepping stones to the person I am now..the person or being I will be in eternity. Perhaps, the long separation gave both of you an underlying strength and ability you would not have otherwise enjoyed, an ability to empathize that would not have been possible otherwise. Dear man, you cannot be responsible for the decisions of your baby or even her feelings and emotions. And she cannot be responsible for yours. Too soon, to our hearts, she left for another realm, but that does not diminish the powerful Love bond the two of you share. Love passes easily between realms and knows no dimensional barriers. So as you Love her it gets through to her and blesses her. While you may not feel that you can experience her love here... it is possible to reach out and sometimes when we least expect it amazing things happen. Please take heart in the fact that fate and the Divine reconnected you in this past year and remember the bliss of those special time together, allowing the painful parts of the past to dissipate. They are no longer relevant..They cannot be changed but the present can be. As we choose ways of being that build our soul rather then destroy our sense of self worth we are creating an ever expanding knowledge of who we really are and what we can become as we get to know our inner gift of the Father more intimately.

You asked:

What is your take on being able to communicate with "dead relatives"?

I don't just believe that you can but I know that you can from my own experience.
This past year we heard from a beloved passed friend of many of us on this board, Wingzie. She says something that might bring you comfort in your desire to erase that long ago decision of the past...

" “There is much to keep you busy here. There is also much to learn, and much to understand in the sense that you discover that in reality it is not going to take a great deal of trouble before all past hurts are healed, before former enemies shake hands, and embrace as kin. "

For me this spoke volumes, the reality that we can heal from the troubles that shake us to the core of our being....from the guilt of something we did or didn't do. But most importantly, we can allow healing to occur even now before we arrive on those beautiful Celestial shores. It comes in Loving ourselves and knowing we are doing the best we can even if it appears failures have occurred. Even in failure there comes victory...the kind that builds mettle and character and is most valuable in the eternal times to come.
How do we do this?
You have made the beginning here... by asking for God's Divine Love.

You wrote:

I have been praying Father please fill me with your Divine Love several times a day. Don't know if this will help out in fulfilling my personal desires or not!

Asking to be filled with Father's Divine Love is always good and right...We are blessed in this Divine Love. And our Divine Parent craves this closeness with us as well. It may seem a means to an end for you now but spend some time contemplating God, the Divine Source and it is almost inevitable that perceptions and healing grows within us.

Perhaps when the time comes you will get what you so desire...But in the meantime and in the now you must take good care of yourself. Knowing that in doing this you bless your baby and those who love you.

Please remember that grief manifests in many ways and will for awhile... We are here for you as you work through the days, weeks, months and even years to come. Just take your time with all that comes to you in life. Please be gentle on yourself. You are doing the best you can and I think that is pretty darn good.

Much Love,
Sandy

[JohnR]

Sandy,
I knew I had made a post, but when I went back later, I couldn't find it! Turns out on my computer screen my last post started a new page and I just now found it! I had been thinking someone must've censored me or perhaps I hadn't pressed the "submit" button properly. I haven't really been absent for two weeks as you might have thought, just lost! I want to say thank-you for your kind words and taking the time to write. I found a lot of joy and comfort in what you had to say, and especially in this line: "she sees you with loving eyes, knowing that from her end there are many, many years (an Infinite number) that you guys can share together". That would really be wonderful. You are perceptive and very wise.

[sammy]

Dear John,

More humble thoughts....As for forgiving yourself.....we are all on a journey. Many will not have much of an understanding of what our purpose was on this journey until we enter the next realm. I think of my dear "Daddy John"...he lost a couple dear friends in the year prior to his own passing. One was a priest whom my dad (although not very religious) held in the highest regard. After this priest passed my father would frequently (in a rather depressed state) ponder aloud that he couldn't understand why he was still here...what was his purpose. I could not see his purpose at that point in time, however, at his funeral his purpose for having been here became abundantly clear. Over 300 people attended, some from over 1000 miles away. They shared many stories and the underlying sentiment was 3 fold...he was a man of honor, integrity and love. I can't tell you how many people reiterated the statements due to their own private experiences with dad. I KNOW in my heart that he is now quite aware of the purpose he served here on his own journey.

I humbly suggest you reflect on your years prior to renewing your relationship with your dear wife and ponder (with great kindness toward yourself) how you may have affected the lives of others. Ripple effect you know! (Paying it Forward!)

And...as for communications from loved ones...I KNOW it is possible. A dear friend received a message that was obviously from my dad (if this friend feels it's appropriate, they are welcome to share it with you)...additionally, I speak to my dad practically every day and I hear a response from him. I've no doubt that they hear us, and understand the why's and what-for's about everything we do and have done. No forgiveness required. Just total loving understanding. They do get the privilege of seeing the big picture going on down here!

LOVE!!!!
Sammy

[Geoff]

My desire is to speak with my baby herself if that is possible. I don't even know that it would be possible. I suppose it depends on what level a person is placed into upon arrival there.

Dear John,

ANY thoughts you DIRECT to a being, whether that being is a celestial, angel, ex-human or whatever, go directly there. Absolutely 100%. Just don't abuse that, as I did with my mother. That's an almost funny story, but I must have lectured my mother for about 18 months, all one-way conversations of course, and when finally a friend channeled her, the very first thing she asked me was if I would STOP. She had heard, and wanted to find Truth her way.

There is another thing that is a problem, and that is grief. Those that have passed need to move on and resolve problems and grow. They don't need to be called back here, by unreasonable grief of those left here, which sadly happens.

I have been praying Father please fill me with your Divine Love several times a day. Don't know if this will help out in fulfilling my personal desires or not!

That's good, you should soon feel the wonderful presence of that love. And it works magic in its own way.

love,
Geoff

[sammy]

Dear Geoff (and John, I hope you can benefit from this),

I find that I feel "drawn" to chat with my dad every night around 6pm or so. They are usually "happy" conversations...as early on after he passed I had a short portion of a Stevie Wonder song play in my head when I was deeply grieving (and I find that is naturally occurs almost every time I am drawn to chat with him)..."Send him your love with a dozen roses....make sure that he knows it....with flowers from your heart..."

It's funny...my first conversation with him was to let him know that he has stuff to learn, and that he was always a quick learner and ALWAYS worked hard until he accomplished what he was striving for...so it should be a fairly easy progression for him. Since then I haven't lectured him...but we do have nice "chats".

I had that "dream" shortly after my grandmother passed (my dad's mom)...I was grieving terribly and endlessly. In the dream she told me that she was happy there and I had to move on with my life. There were plenty more details to that experience which confirmed this was an experience rather than a dream, but what she said to me was the important part. It taught me to (try to) not grieve hard and long with dad. It is not possible (for me anyway) to be perfectly happy with his passing...there are times of grief. But, I TRY really hard to focus on that song "send him your love...with a dozen roses...." and through the tears a faint smile appears and I can feel the love being sent to him.

I do at times wonder however, if after they pass they are capable of grieving. It seems as though many times I feel that dad is grieving. (OK...didn't mean for this post to end up here, but...well...as Forest Gump would say..."And that's all I have to say about that")

Hmmm...I REALLY didn't mean to make this all about me. I hope it benefits you in some way John.

LOVE!!!!
Sammy

[Sandy]

Hello John, Sammy and Geoff,

Hmmm...I REALLY didn't mean to make this all about me. I hope it benefits you in some way John.

Sammy, I just want to say that I think the words that you and Geoff posted and what you both have experienced as well as the initial questions John asked will help others who have recently been separated by a loved one who has passed. I am taking them to heart and thank all three of you!
Love,
Sandy

[JohnR]

Sammy,
I have to second what Sandy had to say. I want your thoughts! I am glad you didn't hold back. I want everyone who has helped me on this thread to know that you are all vastly more experienced in matters of Spirituality than this beginner and I TAKE WHAT IS SAID HERE VERY SERIOUSLY. Having a website such as this one with people of the caliber who appear here is a wonderful gift to me and I thank you all very much! I am fortunate. In the last couple of months I've come across many "spiritual" websites that don't ring true in my mind. Some are really whacked out. This website talks to my heart and sings a song that I "know" is Divine.

It must have been God's will that led me to 1111angels.com on the 2nd click 2 1/2 months ago. This may be interesting: I was curious and a couple of weeks ago tried the exact same Google search that I originally used to get here and got no reference to 1111angels.com or its affiliates at all. I went to the fourth page of the search and still did not find a reference to 1111angels.com using my original search parameter, which was "What is the significance of the number 11?" I just now tried it again and got the same results: nothing. So indeed, I am fortunate.

Already, in only 2 months I have become a different person. My focus has changed big time. I am still working with the Akashic Construct CD. I have read The Keys To Thy Kingdom, located here: http://new-birth.net/booklet/keys.PDF. I plan to read it again and start practicing its teachings also (thanks again Geoff, I love that book). I need to finish reading Through The Mists. Love that book as well. I bet it'll take a year (longer!) to check out all of the material presented in the Spiritual Books section. I have discovered that for a beginner it's hard to sit "still" for even 5 minutes. My work has picked up and lately there is little time left at the end of a 12-13 hr day and 30 minute drive to and from work. Such is the life of a trucker. (At least I get home every day!). I know I need to do the stillness when I first wake up, but I'm still working on that!

Last night I had to wait more than an hour for the day driver to come in with my truck. So I sat in my car in the dark and tried the concentration/prayer/meditation which is taught in the book The Keys To Thy Kingdom. During this whole period I hadn't really been conscious of the passage of time. When I opened my eyes I was surprised that an hour had passed and I felt relaxed and refreshed. Good stuff!

[sammy]

Aw John!!!! You are making huge and fantastic spiritual strides!

Just a quick note...do try the meditation first thing in the morning...BUT it is important to note that rules are not hard and fast...some times work better for other people. (I for one will fall back dead asleep if I attempt to meditate first thing in the morning...hmmm...maybe I should get our of my comfy bed before I start )

LOVE!!!!
Sammy

[Geoff]

Dear John,

Good to hear.

love,
Geoff

[Sandy]

Dear John,
You are an inspiration and a teacher in your own right. Thank you for the reminder about that wonderful book, Keys to the Kingdom. I began it just now and will hopefully be able to enjoy it's wisdom as I await the birth of my first grandchild. (Won't be long now. two weeks and counting! well, of course baby may have other ideas.
Love,
Sandy

[JohnR]

About 5 weeks ago I posted on this thread that I had found more 11's in my life, and then I had to come back and apologize because I had counted days wrong.

The other day I was musing about what happened to me on 11/11/11 and discovered there ARE, in fact, more 11's in that story that have hitherto gone unnoticed.

The already mentioned series of 11's, 111's and 1111's are as follows:

My baby and I were married for 11 days. She died on 11/11/11. When I left her apartment that day (she was in the process of moving to my place), my eyes were drawn to the Bose WaveRadio. I put my glasses on in order to focus on the display because it looked like weird lines. The display is showing the time and it's 11:11. This isn't even the right time, as the clock had not been set. Five minutes later I'm at the gas station gassing up my car. Before I could get out a vehicle pulls up to the pump in front of me and the license plate has 3 letters, a space, and three digits. You guessed it- 111.

What I realized the other day follows:

1)- My baby sent me her Facebook "Friend" request on the 11th of July. I didn't count that before, even though the odds of even that happening are 30:1.

2)- This is the one that really "struck" me! I didn't see the Friend request until July 12. I accepted it and we ended up talking on the phone that day for 8 hours! So, July 13 would be day 1 of being together, OK? We were married on Halloween. Counting out the days from July 12 to Halloween is... 111. We had been together for 111 days (almost to the hour) when we got married. How bizarre is that?

As far as I know, I haven't had any more prompts since then. Until last night. I'm not sure why I would get prompts now. My whole life changed when I found this website and started reading and praying (every day) about all things spiritual. Last night was a no work night for me. I decided to indulge myself and watch TV for several hours while lying in bed. I turned on the TV around 9:30 PM. I had not glanced at the clock even once. When I did turn my head to look at it the time was 11:11. So I'm thinkin' OK! Right on! I can relate to that. But what I thought was REALLY peculiar was the next time I looked at the clock it said 1:11. So now I'm thinkin' I'm definitely being prompted again, but I don't know why. I tried listening to that inner voice but I didn't pick up on anything.

[jack6251]

Hello John

I stand with everyone here when I say I'm really sorry about your loss! I don't believe in coincidences, it's not chance you found your way here I feel, and now that your are, you're in good hands with fellow 11:11'ers!

I can relate to everything you said there about your more recent 11:11/number experiences, I can't tell you how many times that's happend to me too. I occasionally grumble at the numbers when seeing them all blurry eyed when in bed, as though they're a pet dog or something pestering me to get up lol. (couldn't find a dog smily so the pig one will do). Actually the numbers are like a family member now, always present in whatever shape or form, occasionally annoying, but always welcome with love!

Glad you're on the board John, I look forward to reading about your future number experiences

Jack

[Sandy]

I personally love "the pig" Jack. It reminds me of two pot belly pigs I saw the other night on a TV show each of them being spooned ice cream by a spoon from a loving human. That picture tickled me and I wonder sometimes if the celestials who so patiently care for our spiritual welfare often spoon feed us information as we messily get it smeared across our faces in our desire to ingest it quickly. How many morsels probably fall to the ground untouched...
but one thing I noticed in said pigs is that they remained enticed by every spoonful whether it made it to their mouths or not. We all may prefer "special flavors" eh?... but in the end the enjoyment of it all sends us all "spiraling through space and time".
(((HUGS)))) to John R and all my precious 11vener family. How I love sharing this spiritual 'picnic' with all of you!

Sandy

[JohnR]

Hi Jack-
Thank-you for your interest. I think there are random coincidences, but they are just that- random. I used to make music in my spare time. Now pretty much all I do is read. From what I have read about the Law Of Attraction, the subconscious mind, quantum physics, Biocentrism, and even our existence in the next life, we quite literally create our own existence here and in the next life by what we perceive, what we think, and what we believe. And all of this is contradictory to what we've been taught!

Hi Sandy-
You are a huge inspiration to all of us. Thanks for stopping by! How is your new grandbaby?

[LurkerAbyss]

Welcome to the family John

I was reading this thread the other day, and I just wanted to say that I was both saddened for your loss but, more so, moved and inspired by your story. I can see very much that a process has already begun where you are experiencing personal growth and evolution into a newer, better "you" and I thank you very much for sharing that with us.

You were saying above about how the myriad things you've read and studied seem to point to truths contradictory to what we've been taught; yes, it would seem that way, and since I started realizing the same sorts of things I've become very displeased looking back at the teachings, both social teachings and curricular teachings, that I had in school and how I actually learned next to nothing in terms of importance versus what I have learned since then. However, I do very strongly believe that one day in the new future, among other radical changes in society, education will be much different and a lot of the spiritual truths that individuals are beginning to awaken to will be taught almost as "text book truth" because they will make so much sense and be understood by so many to be true and much more valuable than the education standards of the "old world".

People like you, and I, and so many other lightworkers here and there are the ones who will, and must, act to bring these truths to the surface and introduce the radical new paradigms that culture and society follow.

Keep us posted John! You are family now

Love
Lucky

[JohnR]

Yes Lucky,
You are right about radical changes in society coming soon. My take on it is that science is getting backed into a corner. In the not too far off future the physicists, biologists, and chemists are going to have to admit that what we've been told for years is all wrong, and when that happens all hell is going to break loose! They are already saying that everything we can observe in space is only 96% of what is out there, and we have no idea what that is. (Think dark matter & dark energy). I think Bob Lanza is right on track with his theory of Biocentrism, the idea that life created the universe. Here is a quote from the intro of his book "Biocentrism":

"This book proposes a new perspective: that our current theories of the physical world don’t work, and can never be made to work, until they account for life and consciousness. This book proposes that, rather than a belated and minor outcome after billions of years of lifeless physical processes, life and consciousness are absolutely fundamental to our understanding of the universe. We call this new perspective biocentrism."

Berman, Bob; Lanza, Robert (2010-02-02). Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe (p. 2). Perseus Books Group. Kindle Edition.

[jack6251]

Interesting stuff John! I'll research your points I think, you raise some good things.

As for everything changing, I watched a documentary on a BBC chanel the other night with all the current big thinkers of quantum physics in, guys like Michio Kaku and others. They all admitted, due to a series of re-thinks on where we're currently at with physics, they no longer have much of an idea what's going on with the universe, and especially black holes. There was a little section where one by one they all admitted - nope, no idea anymore - which actually I found quite liberating for some reason lol.

I think they're just back themselves into a very expesnive corner now, will be interesting to see if they stop throwing money at certain projects over the next few years because as we know here, some things and the ability to explain them through science, is currently beyond where we're at as a planet.

Jack

[fmspirit39]

Hi John,

I just wanted to make a quick point about the importance of reading or listening to Urantia first hand. I have read it three times and I have never cared what questions other people pose about it. I also don't pay attention to what is being said about 11'ers either. It is none of my business! It is too distracting for me to care about what others think of my own spiritual leadings. I reccomend reading the book and not opinions about the book. Many blessings.

[JohnR]

fmspirit39,
Your idea to read the U Book for yourself and not listen to the opinion of others is so right. I would venture to say that principle applies to everything else, as well. I believe we, as individuals, all have the in-born ability to distinguish truth from what is not.

Have you ever read A History Of The Urantia Papers? History It is so long, it is actually an entire book unto itself. To me, what was so amazing about The History was reading about Dr. Sadler and his observations of the sleeping subject. Sadler studied with Freud and is one of the heavyweights in the field of psychiatry. He was absolutely convinced that everything metaphysical could be explained. He even wrote an entire book around this idea. At the end in one of the appendices he states there were two cases in his life that he could not explain. 1- the sleeping subject (the entire U Book is involved with this man in one way or another), and 2- one of the mediums that he investigated.

Apparently, after the papers started to appear in handwriting on the desk in the sleeping subject's house, Sadler went so far as to follow him around during the day to see where he went and when he was writing these papers, (even though they were not written in any known person's handwriting!), but he never figured it out. Apparently, after the papers started to appear in a written form the unknown authors stated that after the papers were read and typed up they would be destroyed by fire. Sadler had been keeping them in his safe and every time some new papers had been typed up they would disappear from the safe. So Sadler even went to a bank and started putting them in a safe deposit box that he had rented, but that didn't change anything, they still disappeared.

[Sandy]

Thanks for speaking of the History of the Urantia book JohnR. I have that book and read it years ago but have forgotten many of the details you mentioned and then some. It must have been such an amazing time for the people involved. How pleased they must be from their now time distant abodes as they look at our beloved world and see the good their efforts provide for all of us and those yet to come.
I feel Larry Mullins did a great job on what probably was a difficult subject.
Love,
Sandy

[arleneangle]

It is so interesting about the story.