Talented, lost, young man being sent signals...

[TheArtist]

I'm going to try and make my long story as short as possible. I'm a student at the rocky mountain college of art and design going to fine arts painting and illustration. Im not trying to toot my own horn, but I have amazing skills with a paint brush and think this may be why they are targeting me? Lately I've been noticing the 1:11 11:11 among other signs a lot.


The first I can think about happened about 2 years ago. After a long night clubbing where I took ketamine and acted truly like an idiot, I havent got so beep-beep up since, I had a dream where I was on this swaying porch and a lot of my friends were on it getting drunk etc. I remember feeling really cold and looking off at the mountain sunset trying to get in the light because it was warm and I fell off. I climbed back up and one of my friends put there fingers to my forehead like a finger pistol and at that moment a call from my friend Jesus who I was with the night before woke me up. I listened to the message he left and in it there was a mans voice that asked where did the shot come from? then a female voice that said from the light. Immediately creeped out I went to Jesus's dorm and there were 3 guys playing madden football. I asked why he called and it was because he left his keys in my friends car. Totally strange.

Well anyway Ive been seing 11:11 12:21 2:22 3:33 you name it all the time randomly and cant get away from it. I talked to a friend after I found this site and he said he has too since his mom died. he also sees 4:44 and she died when he was 44, his gas will stop at 4.44 etc. Well he has been battling addiction with pain killers which leads me to my next part of my story which is my addiction to adderall
Ive been on adderall for many years now for my ADHD. I know I am addicted to it as I am dependent on it to do things such as go to the gym, clean, do HW etc. The worst part is I feel like I cannot paint without it. It has weaseled its way into so many aspect of my life, even the one main part which is my art.

three times I feel I have been triggered to stop my adderall usage once was when I was working at an ice cream shop. This lady was tryng to get 10.00 on a gift card at the same time I was about to pop a pill. My co worker was like that's strange it only filled 6.66 on it. She freaked out and I ended up not taking that aderall. I wanted to quit after that but like I said the addiction is sneaky and it weaseled back into my life. Now I quit cigarettes cold turkey because a syncronicity thing that happened so it's not like I dont have will power, I do. that pill has just engrained itself into me, sometimes I think I wouldnt be as good of an artist or maybe not even an artist at all if I never took it?

So the other week I was working doing document management and was thinking about going to the gym after work and I thought what the hell ill just up my dosage a little more since my tolerance is building. Seriously after that i look up on where you put a file name and it said 666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 If you look at a keyboard it is practically impossible to hit 666666 and not another button by leaning on it. After deleting that my office phone got a call from a number with 6666 in it. CLEARLY I am being signaled. CLEARLY im being asked to stop taking my meds. but I am scared. I am scared I will lose my will and drive in life when I dont take it I have no focus. The main thing i'm worried about is I wont want to paint any more once off my meds but I feel I am being targeted because my painting skillls?
any comments or insight I would appreciate thanks!
david

[Geoff]

Dear David,

Welcome. Yes it looks like you have a big decision to make. Such is life. I wish you well, and all the strength you will need.

love,
Geoff

[vivrider]

Hi David,

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you came here. There's a lot of great people to support you, and also a lot of important information. It sounds to me like you are being prompted to make some changes. I hope that helps you have the strength to do it!

Love, Vivian

[inlikeflint]

Welcome to the 11:11 forum.

[theunim]

Hey, welcome. Who's to say that your desire to paint won't be there once you're off the meds? Personally, I would think that the desire would still be there, but then it really would take very good care to make sure you put in the effort and have the motivation coming from within, instead of from chemicals and compounds (Which I assume is the perceived source? Correct me if I'm getting this wrong).

Love,
Theunim

[Sandy]

Hello Artist and Welcome!
I'm afraid I have no experience where medicines are concerned and so I do not know of what importance the Adderall you take is necessary to assist in the management of your physical condition. But please take the time to talk to your physician about your fears regarding this medication and explain your side of it...how it feels to you... that it is taking more and more control of your life.

I just saw our neighbour's mother's artwork today. I have lived here five years and I had no clue of this beautiful creative side of her. Her work moved me as I followed the brush strokes and impressions of "that fleeting moment in her minds eye." It felt almost as if I was intruding in a private thought... a precious memory ingrained within. And so, I wonder if art is somehow beyond that material sense of ours ... something that we can hold in our hand or see with our eyes or even feel and touch with our skin and ears? We truly cannot put a finger on it can we? As art in its pure form is very much a spiritual experience between the artist and the Source energies around him or her. This is the same Infinite "Stuff" that creates stars and nebulae and universes beyond our ability to comprehend.

Your art is more so much more than this physical medicine you ingest... You are so much more than any physical ingredient found in time/space... You are made of Light and indestructible in your pure form... infinite and eternally beautiful. And so, I suspect with the kind of dedication you showed when you quit smoking or the many other disciplines involved in your life and your successes, that you can and will overcome this addiction and your feelings of dependency.

But once again, please do consider speaking with your doctor about this matter, explaining as you did to us just now the detrimental effects you are experiencing.
Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us. I'm glad that you have joined us, Artist.
Love,
Sandy

[TheArtist]

Thanks for the welcomes everyone.

Hey, welcome. Who's to say that your desire to paint won't be there once you're off the meds? Personally, I would think that the desire would still be there, but then it really would take very good care to make sure you put in the effort and have the motivation coming from within, instead of from chemicals and compounds (Which I assume is the perceived source? Correct me if I'm getting this wrong).

Love,
Theunim

Yeah it's very hard to explain because my meds have become so engrained into so much I do. It's almost like im a windup doll and everyday I need to wind up with my medicine just to get going. I am going to try and slowly wean down my daily dose and see how that goes. Probably going to attend some NA meetings with my friend.

[TheArtist]

Hello Artist and Welcome!
I'm afraid I have no experience where medicines are concerned and so I do not know of what importance the Adderall you take is necessary to assist in the management of your physical condition. But please take the time to talk to your physician about your fears regarding this medication and explain your side of it...how it feels to you... that it is taking more and more control of your life.

I just saw our neighbour's mother's artwork today. I have lived here five years and I had no clue of this beautiful creative side of her. Her work moved me as I followed the brush strokes and impressions of "that fleeting moment in her minds eye." It felt almost as if I was intruding in a private thought... a precious memory ingrained within. And so, I wonder if art is somehow beyond that material sense of ours ... something that we can hold in our hand or see with our eyes or even feel and touch with our skin and ears? We truly cannot put a finger on it can we? As art in its pure form is very much a spiritual experience between the artist and the Source energies around him or her. This is the same Infinite "Stuff" that creates stars and nebulae and universes beyond our ability to comprehend.

Your art is more so much more than this physical medicine you ingest... You are so much more than any physical ingredient found in time/space... You are made of Light and indestructible in your pure form... infinite and eternally beautiful. And so, I suspect with the kind of dedication you showed when you quit smoking or the many other disciplines involved in your life and your successes, that you can and will overcome this addiction and your feelings of dependency.

But once again, please do consider speaking with your doctor about this matter, explaining as you did to us just now the detrimental effects you are experiencing.
Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us. I'm glad that you have joined us, Artist.
Love,
Sandy

Thank you Sandy. You sure do have a way with your words, I was just reading another beautiful reply of yours before this one. I do feel it is private, when I paint it is in private and it feel very transcendental. It's seems like the process is above the laws of time as i'm in a whole other place in my mind.
Your last paragraph struck a chord in me too. Just the other day I was eating breakfast with my friend and I said we are nothing but light and as that happened a break in the clouds opened, my friend said my face lit up in synchronicity. It was kind of eerie but touching at the same time.
As for your concerns, I probably should talk to the doc. I havent really talked to anyone about this issue except the one friend I mentioned and you guys it's very nerve racking.

[TheArtist]

Coincidentally I looked at my phone tonight and it read 11:11 of course

[vivrider]

Isn't Sandy amazing?? I agree with her that you should talk to a doctor. I am one myself (a pediatrician) and I know that Adderall can be addicting. I also think that you should really try to take good care of yourself--meditation, good nutrition, rest. I really believe that you can get to a place where your art is even better without the medicine, and you will find so much fulfillment from it that you won't miss the Adderall at all!

Love, Vivian

[Sandy]

Good Morning everyone...It is now just after 3:00pm for me (3:08pm to be precise... a prompt for me) I must confess though, it feels like morning... and a most beautiful one despite the incliment skies above.

Artist, I have a question for you. Is that one of your beautiful artworks that is gracing your avitar photo? I suspect it is and I must say it is awesome! Stunning! I can only imagine the power the original would imbibe!

That moment of inspiration and light that you described as you ate breakfast with your friend is confirmation and a blessing, somerthing to stick in your heart and remember on those rainy days when you feel alone and out of sorts. Nope, you are not alone.
Hugs,
Sandy
Thank you both, Artist and Viv (Wonder Woman ) for the kind things you said.

[LurkerAbyss]

Dear Artist,

Sweetest wishes and blessings to you!

Love
Lucky

[paintboxx92]

Hi Artist!

Ur story was interesting! I'm an artist too! so yaaay for the artists. Im okay with a paint brush, but markers are my strong hold. When i first started seeing the prompts, I was battling with low self esteem and a lil bit of depression. my first time prompt was actually 3:33 and i still feel like thats my special number. Usually when i have a depressing thought or just feel really down about myself and about things, thats when i start to get all the other time prompts, and i start to see orbs as well. the angels are telling me that everythings alright. so i cheer up and listen to some GReeeeN lol, raise my vibration back to that heart chakra!


Love
Paintboxx

oh and welcome to the fam, love, peace and blessings!

[AthenaGrey]

Hi Artist and welcome!

You are in a good place here

I do feel it is private, when I paint it is in private and it feel very transcendental. It's seems like the process is above the laws of time as i'm in a whole other place in my mind.

I started out in life painting, and my greatest joy holding a paintbrush was never the finished product, but that sense of awesome peace and power that I felt when I was laying paint on canvas. It was as if God was guiding my hand, showing me a secret of creation and life. I felt I had truly been given a gift, and it was my first truly spiritual experience. Be happy that you have this gift as well, and please don't think that something like a drug can give or take it away from you. It is important to be healthy, but you have been given a gift of love from a far greater source, and it will always be there.

P.S. While painting was not my life's pursuit, I found that art in general is. I love life and I love beauty and you can't divest the two from one another. I'm currently a writer, and I will pretty much try any artistic pursuit - which tends to happen a lot, because i have a hard time focusing on just one creative endeavor. I used to be disturbed by this, thinking I was doing something wrong or had "just too many hobbies" - but now I embrace my creativity. So what if I like to do ten different artistic things at once. It has opened far many more doors that I would have thought, and I can't think of one it ever closed.

[Kenneth]

Hi Artist,
I can empathize with you.
I know Sandy's advice and words of wisdom could serve you well in this new time/direction in your life.

If you're genuinely ready to leave the dependence of these meds behind you, your doctor or psych can definitely help you in weaning off these pills, usually by tapering your dosage down as opposed to a "cold turkey" approach.

I must stress, please do not try stopping your meds without advice and a plan from your doc.

I believe it's a chemical dependence combined with a psychological/physical dependence. It's the psychological dependence that causes us to believe that we cannot function without them, but there are proven steps and treatments that don't involve adding more chemicals to the situation, that can help you if you really want to distance yourself from them.
It is possible.

It's not an easy choice to make, and I think that's because deep down we know that any big changes or disruptions to our lives as we know it, can be really daunting, scary and often overwhelming, but as I've learned recently, when the clouds lift and you feel the sun on skin for the first time, all of that apprehension and fear dissipates. With each day, with each little step, we become more and more comfortable in this new "skin".

Please know that your talent and passion for art, does NOT come from chemicals. It's an innate gift, that is yours, you own it.
Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk some more.
Love.

[Irit]

CLEARLY i'm being asked to stop taking my meds. but I am scared. I am scared I will lose my will and drive in life when I dont take it I have no focus. The main thing i'm worried about is I won't want to paint any more once off my meds but I feel I am being targeted because my painting skillls?
any comments or insight I would appreciate thanks!
david

Hi David,
It seems you are trying to make a decision here. I am not a doctor, but I was involved with a person that was taking Adderall and he was in his 40's. He had a very high profile job and was very afraid he would not be able to function and be at his best without taking his meds. I believe this is part of the addiction. Maybe you can speak with your doctor about your feelings and even find a support group to help you out.

I have been an artist most of my life and I feel once you are off the meds you will still do your art, because this need to create is coming from your soul. Your style may change slightly, but that happens with maturity also.

Hope this helps you,
Irit