Path Settled Progressing Forward

[murlin99]

Hello Friends,
First of all, love to you all. If you are in a bad spot when you read this just remember, my spirit is there for you.

After the last post here I went through a pretty good bout of depression that lasted for about two weeks. I came out the other side with a new outlook on a lot of things. I was angry for a couple of days trying to sort things out and then woke up one morning and said "frick it". I lived my whole life in a bubble fearing something that was not there.

Then I realized I did not feel that way anymore.

Once I made that realization and accepted it as my path it seemed the flood gates have opened and I have a mission. The ideas for things to write never stop. I have woken up at 2 am with bolts of ideas for new articles to write. I have written many and am on a mission with them. One of them is my life story with the details of abuse and hardships, not as a feel sad for me thing, but for a, I have been through many situations, I know your pain, talk to me. My mind told me it was the thing to do to get it out of my mind and open it to new ideas and the new path.

I really don't think about what I am writing, it just sort of flows.

My passion and I can not shake this out of my head is to take PTSD, Anxiety, Child Abuse, and everything that goes with it HEAD ON! The current system makes it too easy to treat these things with drugs when not needed and no drugs when needed. It is totally opposite of what it should be and sadly parents are the biggest part of the problem. I can no longer take this.

I know two children right now who are stuck in bad situations and the parents are treating them with Adderall, not for PTSD. It is PTSD from bad relationships, I know, I see. But you say that to a parent and it is automatic defensive beep-beep "Not My Family!". I have the support of a registered family therapist that this is the actual problem. She is s cognitive therapist only, no prescriptions. She has had multiple clients walk out when they said ADD and she said PTSD. Also many never make an appt. when they find out she does not prescribe medications. This is bad. The problem is family is no longer family and I am going to do my damndest to try to get through to people on that. If I help 1 family the whole thing is worth it.

I will say that during this depression the 1's were strong. I can not shake the most glaring example out of my head. Near the end of the depression just before the day of being angry trying to sort out the jumble of my mind this happened.... It was 11:11am, The TV was on channel 1111, and my wife paused a youtube video at 11:11 minutes when I asked her if she noticed all of the other 1's. Many say this is just confidence and our ability to notice patterns. But there is no pattern in pausing a video at 11:11, its not like she waited until it was 11:11.

That night I had a dream of my mother, she gave me a kiss and said, get up you got work to do.

I can not make this up. It happened just that way.

My thing is, over 45 years I built a wall and a shield miles thick. And now I have torn it down and I want to help others do the same.

I am blogging all of these thoughts now and will integrate some video blogging into it soon.

I know I have bounced slightly simular ideas around here before, and other crazy things, I now believe those were times when I tried to crack the shield but was not quite strong enough yet. Now it is broken into little pieces and when it comes to this topic that is my passion you are either with me or you can get out of the way. "In a nice way"

Peace and Happiness to All,
Bryan

[happyrain]

Hey Bryan,

Awesome!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is definitely more than recognizing patterns, and it is exciting to read how you are being guided.

Best of luck with your endeavors.

Kind regards,
Eric

[Sandy]

Hello again Bryan,

It isn't easy to take down these walls many of us build around us for one reason or another... but you inspire. Sometimes I think we make the wall bigger and stronger in our mind then it is...and we think it will be nearly impossible to dismantle it. So we go looking for a substitute as you suggested. Inner work is never easy yet the hardest part is taking that first step...a determination to give it a good go and let the "chips" fly where they may. As the hard stuff is considered understood and released gosh...it is so worth it. Inside we are more peaceful more open to beauty and the voices of the "Heavens." Sort of like a Dorothy opening her eyes for the first time and seeing Oz, life looks so different after inner understanding has been reached.

Thank you so much for sharing something that is so close to you and so important to ponder.

God bless you and your family
With love,
Sandy