So nice to see you as well Sandy! I feel the same about the weather. I seem to thrive more in cooler temperatures and winter is my favourite time of the year here in Australia -- I even still swim in the winter here..hahaha. It's so wonderful to hear from you and I hope you and all your loved ones are well. Thanks for asking about my little German Spitz Lizzie. Sadly, she crossed that rainbow bridge a couple years ago
But she had a great life...she lived on three continents! Her passing was very difficult for me (I connect with animals very deeply). It's kind of a long read, but if you're interested, I wrote a short story about her life (her telling the story in her own words) -- writing it, and revisiting it every once in a while helped me in my grieving process. I'll post it below. Take care my dear friend, best wishes to you and the whole family.
I AM LIZZIE WOLF
"I’m so hungry but I can’t find my mommy. I’m only five weeks old and I don’t understand what is happening around me. Mommy where are you? In the distance, I see a stranger, a beautiful woman walking towards me – maybe she knows where my mommy is. She is funny, she has mud on her toes…I lick them. “Thirty Euros” I hear the farmer say. “The mother will no longer feed it, and if you don’t take it now I’m drowning them” – he points to the big tub where the horses drink. I know he is talking about me and my brothers and sisters…he always calls us “it.” The kind woman picks me up out of the mud and we leave the farm (is this my new mommy?) I wonder. I have a nice meal and it’s very warm and safe; I like it here. A strange man walks into the room with his hand in front of his eyes…he says “I cannot look at her.” I’m confused. Later in life, my mom would explain to me that on that day, my dad was afraid to look at me because he knew that once he did, he would fall completely in love with me.
I am safe and happy. I love my new family. I’m no longer called “it” – my name is “Lizzie” and I am a little white wolf (that’s what my daddy calls me). We are in southern Germany and my daddy takes me for walks in what he tells me is the enchanted black forest; he talks to me a lot (more than anyone else in his life), and I understand everything he shows me and tells me. He talks to me about so many things: my favourite toy, the birds, the stars, the moon, to name a few. Although we speak different languages, we share the same feelings…and that is why we understand each other. Sometimes he talks to me about the evolution of animal consciousness, but I’m still quite young and don’t fully understand this. When I was two years old we went on a road trip to Italy. I remember sitting with my family on an old wooden bench under a tree having lunch; the Italian countryside was beautiful – we even stayed a few nights inside a real castle!
My daddy always wore a uniform and it seemed like every time we moved, the patch on his shoulder would change. We are now in upstate New York and I occasionally see deer running through my back yard. Out in the yard my daddy makes a massive ball of snow (bigger than me!) and calls it my throne; he puts me on top and tells me how special and powerful I am. We are in Savannah Georgia and I’m six years old. I chase the squirrels in the yard, and one time during my walk, we went up to a horse that was eating grass and I tried to jump on its head! I always wanted to protect my dad.
We are now in Australia and my dad is wearing a different kind of uniform. The patch on his shoulder is different…it has pictures of animals on it. I’m now ten years old – I am “Lizzie Wolf” and I now possess the wisdom that my dad always told me I had. I love my family so much and I’ve always remained on guard to protect them.
I’ve always slept on the floor next to my parent’s bed and many times in the middle of the night I would sneak into their bed (dad loved that). I’m twelve and a half years old now. Cough-cough-cough,…what’s happening, something doesn’t feel right. My dad looks at me with worry and concern – it’s the same way he looked at me a couple years earlier when I ate something really bad in the back yard. Time to go see the vet again. I hear the cardiologist telling my mom and dad that I have a bad heart…and in that moment, I could sense that my parent’s hearts were breaking. My dad quit his job and I heard him tell my mom that dealing with people who are cruel to animals is becoming just too much. My dad gives me medicine every day, he looks so sad.
Me, my mom and my dad take a trip to the beach, and I have the time of my life. I overheard my dad telling my mom that it was both the happiest and saddest day of his life. I know why he said this. I’m now much older than my parents (in dog years) and I’ve become very wise. My journey on this planet is nearly over. We have a wonderful weekend at the beach and then return home. A couple weeks later……………………….Thud! Although my eyes are open I cannot see. I feel very far away, but I can hear my dad calmly saying “she is breathing…keep breathing puppy, keep breathing” and moving his hand gently up and down my back. I came out of it wagging my tail. I had fainted and collapsed in the living room right in front of my dad (I’m glad he was there). My dad said to my mom “tonight is the night,” and I know what that means. I know all about the rainbow bridge (my dad talks to me about everything).
I’m at the vet clinic, but things are different this time. My whole family is here and they are all crying – I am worried about them. I tap them with my paw to tell them everything is okay. My dad whispers into my ear. I’m no longer in my body and I can now feel that my heart is once again very strong. I can still hear and see my family. My dad never knew how he would handle this moment, but I could read his thoughts, that said: “the only reason I can leave you behind on that table is because when I look into your eyes and whatever that thing is, that we call <life> has now moved on to another place.” He was right.
A few days later a man knocks on the door and he is carefully holding the pieces of me that remain here on planet earth. He explains to my mom and dad “I am bringing Lizzie home to you.” This was an important moment for my family; they needed to have a piece of me physically back home with them. My dad wears a locket around his neck to keep a piece of me close to his heart. He knows this is symbolic, but it helps him. He understands that the true essence of what I am, will forever live within his heart and spirit.
Although I have a lot of friends in this new place, I’m able to be with my family at the same time (it’s kind of magical). I’ve been gone a month now and I notice that my dad is once again wearing a uniform with a patch. This new patch also has animals on it but it’s completely different from the old one. I’m able to make out the writing on this patch, and it reads: “Say goodbye with grace and dignity.” I then remember that this is the same uniform the man was wearing when he brought me home. I follow my dad around every day and he is now bringing home other loved pets that have crossed the rainbow bridge. When the time is right, he shares my story with others and sometimes it helps bring some comfort and solace.
There is a common theme here in the land of rainbows. We all just want two things for our family members left behind. We want them to be safe and happy. Staying safe and happy is the greatest way you can honor us. My dad still talks to me every single day. He speaks not only in words, but also uses another language…the language of the Heart—and I understand everything. I am Lizzie Wolf."