Bad feelings and losing faith in god

[Nikki88]

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone else has this but sometimes right before something bad happens ill get a really bad feeling. I can’t really describe the feeling accurately but it feels sort of like really bad anxiety and apprehension without a cause. It can be a bit debilitating I find that I have to just hide in my room, and focus all my attention on trying to stay calm. Does anyone know what this is and how I can deal with it better? For example I had the bad feeling last week and was lying in bed trying to ignore it, and stay calm when my stepbrother came home all of a sudden and started throwing a psychotic level fit which involved throwing things and slamming doors repeatedly. In a way I’m grateful to have the bad feeling as a sort of pre-warning that something bad is about to happen because if I hadn’t I’m fairly certain that a 3 foot tower fan would have been chucked at my face instead of at my wall. I think the feeling helps keep me out of harm’s way sometimes but I wish I could process the feeling better so I could listen to it but without it being so debilitating. Any advice?

On a separate note in regards to the stepbrother issue it’s caused me to start to lose faith in god as I moved from one house with an abusive male (my dad) to another house with and even worse abusive male (stepbrother). I don’t feel like I’ve attracted this into my life and I sometimes have a hard time processing that this could happen especially since I didn’t choose either of them. It just makes me have doubts about god sometimes because my mind just keeps thinking what were the odds of that happening, and I can certainly say by this point my trust in the male half of the species is forever gone. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to hide in my room all the time .

Anyway thanks for listening lots of love,
Nikki

[Seeker13]

Hi Nikki,
I know it well! Call it my, "Feeling of Dread." And you're right it is a premonition of something to come! I used to panic, calling everyone I was close to to be careful, or not to show up early, or!... come up with a thousand different scenarios to stress out about. It was so frustrating not knowing who or what it was about! I finally came to the conclusion I might be getting a heads up to ask for help, protection and healing for whoever else might be needing it. Our guides and guardians can't help us without being invited to do so. Others might not know how, or that they need to ask for help for themselves. The feeling happens to me for personal emergencies, about those close to me, or a disaster on a global scale.

Maybe this is heaven's way of affirming that you have gifts that can be used to help others? Isn't it amazing we could be helping someone half way around the world just by heeding the call? I always ask for a bubble of healing protection to whomever may be needing it.

I think we all loose faith in God every once in awhile, wonder why our lives are so hard, why we feel so small and all alone. My dad too was a very abusive bi-polar alcoholic. Two older brothers thought we were born to be used as their science experiments, another brother was well, an insane abusive drug addict. Unfortunately in our community the odds were pretty high to be in that type of family. The cycle was generational and realized with my first husband, I'd married 'my father.' Maybe I thought, that's what I deserved?

It's understandable about your feelings about men and hiding in your room as protection. I used to sleep with a baseball bat. So many of us, old and young are struggling with the same problem. With me, I had to decide to not be a victim any longer. A very hard thing to do especially if other's in your life seem to hold all the power. I could tell you we all make a plan before we're born, with the people who are going to be in our lives to help us fulfill that plan. I could tell you The Law Of Attraction is a universal law and EVERYTHING in our lives was put there by us. I could tell you that there is a lesson in every situation we find ourselves, but the truth is Nikki, it's up to you to decide? What do you believe? What course of action do you need to take to change that which needs changing? My first easy piece of advice is to ask God for help, even if you doubt his/her existence. Ask for protection against those who have hurt you. Ask for things to fall in your path to help you bring about the changes you deserve. The other day I copied the celestial message this board sends out. It was, " A Detour Can Turn Out to be a Shortcut" This message spoke to me so much that I wanted to keep it in my pocket to take out and revisit every once in awhile.

In my experience, only you can do this for yourself, because really no one else can... unless it's to send out a prayer to the heavens for a bubble of protection and healing for whomever needs it.

Hope you find your answers,
Love Kim

[Sandy]

Hello beautiful Nikki, the young woman whose posts always exude such a kind and loving feel. I've always noticed that about you...how compassionate and aware you are when there is a need for prayer for those around you. So Kim's inspired post makes perfect sense... for instance this part...

Maybe this is heaven's way of affirming that you have gifts that can be used to help others? Isn't it amazing we could be helping someone half way around the world just by heeding the call? I always ask for a bubble of healing protection to whomever may be needing it.

Not everyone is aware of other's needs. Life pushes and pulls and yet over the years you have frequently placed needy people in the prayer circle. Your caring, compassion and love make you a powerful healer...

But like many people, when it comes to our own lives we can become a bit confused

For instance, a couple weeks ago George had a stroke and for a couple days I walked around in disbelief ..wondering how and why this could have happened to him when he tries so hard to make life better for others with his work in the Progress group. But then little things caused me to take notice and to see the blessings hidden within the hardship. Granted, I was still a bit put out...but it helped to look at the happening with detachment.

But this is about you not me and I think Kim's wonderful words ring with so much wisdom and even healing by one who understands what you are going through. I will remember you as I ride back and forth on the train and gaze at the awesome views of the escarpment and sea. One of the blessings, train time, despite the noise and chatterings around me, can be a very productive meditation time (Of sort anyway. )

Please take good care of your self sweetie. I/m seeing you in a beautiful bubble of Divine Light....
Much love,
Sandy

[Nikki88]

Hi Kim and Sandy,
Thanks for your replies! It had never occurred to me that I could ask for help for myself or others when I get these bad feelings. I was always too caught up in trying to stay calm and fight or ignore the feeling, or tell myself its nothing as I've often been told by other people. Ill definitely try to keep that in mind from now on if I ever get these bad feelings again.

Hi Sandy ,
I’m so sorry to hear about George I will add you both to my prayers and pray he has a speedy recovery. Please take care of yourself too Sandy, I hope things get better soon.

lots of love,
Nikki