Monkey see! Monkey doo!
... if monkey eats too many bananas.
If a pasture is greener on the other side
... just turn it over!
Early to bed and Early to rise,
... then Early starts a new day.
Once upon a time may occur twice,
... but each remains "once upon a time".
A Yes or No answer
... is best for a Yes or No question.
If it's all behind you
... you may be facing the wrong direction.
When a bear sits in the woods
... it doesn't climb a tree.
"Three sheets to the wind!" could happen
... when chased by a bear in the woods.
"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!"
... said Noah when the cruise ended.
The first day of the rest of your life
... may be tomorrow (if not today).
How would you know when Frosty the Snowman
... transitions to another identity?
When food is consumed at a picnic table
... is that a picnic?
Shovelers at the stable believe that it's snow
... when it's white and frosty.
The third horse to win the race
... is still the best of Show.
If you walk around a corner
... you may never get where you're going!
If it's not all it's cracked up to be
... it may need more cracks!
When are day and night the same day?
... Every day!
Why are fingers called digits
... if they were invented before numbers?
Could Frank Sinatra have said something stupid
... on a Smartphone?
If YouTube is like a flat tire
... you tube needs more air.
Why is a pen like a sword?
... They both make a point.
When is a cow called Bossie not a bull?
... When it's a cow!
If there's no pot at the end of the rainbow
... smoke the other end.
When you're at the bottom of the food chain
... everybody likes you!
If the light at the end of the tunnel is a train
... why is it called a light?
When it's your turn at a 4-way intersection
... why would you drive straight?
Is Moonset! a command
... to sit and stop mooning someone?
If no questions are asked
... can answers be given?
Skip the stew if the menu says "Stew!"
... since ew! may be the quality.
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup
... if it dribbles down your chest.
Despite edible underwear for intimate rendezvous
... a condom is never a condiment.
The Ozone section of a sports stadium
... is where your hear the best Oh! s.
The No Passing section of a ballpark
... is where you don't get to first base.
The real reason "It takes two to tango"
... is that two feet are required.
If you're up to your analysis in alligators
... you're probably a successful psychiatrist.
Does "Have your cake and eat it too" mean
... that you don't finish eating it?
It's Ok for men to wear pantyhose
... but not because they wear panties.
The real reason it's called Coffee Break
... is because coffee is a diuretic.
You should learn all about rocket science
... to audition at NYC's Radio City Music Hall.
If Mickey and Minnie had a child, it would be called
... a Mouse.
The difference between "losing car key" and "losing car"
... is the key to this conundrum.
When the pot calls the kettle black
... the cook is slurping the sherry.
If a nappie covers a sesame seed bun
... the baby was changed at a picnic.
It's best to brush your teeth
... while you still have them.
Saving yourself for old age
... is better strategy when you're older.
The shortest distance between two points
... is to say nothing between them.
If everybody goes to bed at night
... what do they go to in the morning?
If two pizzas are made from the same dough
... are they siblings?
Always drive on the right side of the road
... according to road laws.
When is Uptown the same as Downtown?
... When you're in the town.
If there are digits on a keyboard
... is someone typing?
A paper towel is self-defining, but toilet paper
... is just paper until first used.
If someone has a noisy muffler
... did they eat beans?
One drinks 8 glasses of water a day
... because they don't eat water.
The Pooper always precedes the Scooper
... in the product advertising.
Humans can wear a head light, but how
... can they wear a tail light?
If prisoners can request a last meal
... why can't they request a first meal?
Ice cream is not "ice cream" until it's frozen
... so why is it "ice cream" after it melts?
If you're "asleep at the wheel"
... are you in the car or outside?
People who rest in peace
... don't snore.
If a cellphone had a 4- or 5G Whiz button
... would this give you permission to go?
Since "pre-op" occurs before the operation
... "op-post" should occur after the operation.
If the jury's decision was a "no-brainer"
... did they really decide?
In a binary bathroom, the morning paper is over
... but the evening paper is under.
In a vegetarian stadium
... are root veggies louder?
If your cup runneth under
... do you need a larger size?
When a finger nail and a toe nail marry
... do they both "nail it"?
If the child of two finger nails is late-term
... is the child called a "linger nail"?
Is "happily ever after" what happens
... after a postnuptial?
When a child keeps returning to the nest
... does it get frequent flyer miles?
Hammer:nail and screwdriver:screw, so
... what's the stick in stick:tape?
If you must sign on the dotted line
... must you separate your letters?
When letters race numbers
... how do numbers ever win?
Since a New Year lasts a year
... "Happy New Year!" is a daily greeting.
How do you know when you receive "snail mail"?
... When you receive it.
Which came first? SMTWTFS or JFMAMJJASOND?
... SMTWTFS, if you read left to right.
Some Pi are square ...
... so pass it a round.
Rod
For the stand-up comedy ...
Try to guess how before reading this article. 
After all these decades, I just realized that the formula 
If Dickens captured this advice ...
... "Been there! Done that!" 
Re: 
Morning meditation on "This is as good as it gets!" ...