Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

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Wallee53
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Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Wallee53 » Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:00 pm

Hello everyone,

I hope you don’t mind me posting this question here. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time and just can’t seem to come to any sort of conclusion about.

My question is, I just don’t understand the point of mortal creation? I really just don’t seem to be very good at the whole being human thing in that I don’t like it and haven’t enjoyed the experience. I can’t help but think I wouldn’t have chosen this were I given any options. I’ve had a very sour time here to put it lightly and I don’t understand why God would subject any beings to this torment and it’s caused me a crisis of faith. I’m finding it hard to find my peace on this subject. I’ve also tended to notice over the years that quite a few messages from celestials not specifically ones from this board but others across all platforms tend to refer to humans as the lowest of gods creatures or lowly beings. I always find this comment to be off putting in the sense that I’ve had a hard enough time of it here and don’t care to have my lowly status rubbed in my face to add to the mix. I find reading those comments tend to further solidify my stance on not liking what I am and make it all the harder for me to find any sense of peace on this subject and move on. I’m ashamed of being the type of creation that I am and I worry that if I can’t find something good about all this it will just cause me more trouble down the road. I don’t understand why God would create a being that would ultimately loath itself in my case.

Any advice or insight anyone can give would be much appreciated. This is something I’ve continued to struggle with for a long time. I’m trying to find some sort of healthy conclusion to come to on it so I can put it to rest and move on.

Thanks everyone,

W

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by sammy » Mon Feb 15, 2021 11:27 pm

Hi Wallee, welcome to the board!

I've given answering your question several attempts, but I guess I am not in a place to answer. Your post did cause me to take a deeper look at myself and I would like to thank you for that.
and don’t care to have my lowly status rubbed in my face
Me either :lol: Funny thing is this is the part that helped me. When I read it I could see ego talking. Ego can set up road blocks for spiritual growth. I have been feeling blocked and I suspect my ego is the cause. Ego is a real bugger, it can hide in places you don't think to look. So thank you, and I will continue to dissect my ego!

Probably won't help, but know that your not alone in your questioning of purpose and not liking being "low man on the ladder". I believe most people struggle with these things at some point.

I look forward to the pearls of wisdom to come from our other board members.

LOVE!!!!
Sammy
Love is a daily decision ~ Mom & Daddy John

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Wallee53 » Tue Feb 16, 2021 9:20 pm

Hi Sammy,

Thank you for the insight. I think I finally came to my own conclusion. I guess just writing it out for me was enough to help me sort it out. I was coming back to delete this post but unfortunately I can’t find a place where I can do that.

Best regards,

W

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by sammy » Tue Feb 16, 2021 10:11 pm

Wallee,

Do you mind sharing your conclusion?

LOVE!!!!
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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Wallee53 » Tue Feb 16, 2021 10:49 pm

Hi Sammy,

I don’t know if I will be able to explain it very well because I can’t remember where the source material is but, I was reminded of a post from a TR that described the difference between humans and created beings. In a nutshell humans have a greater depth of experience in the long run because of the inherent imperfections we are forced to deal with. I also got a gentle nudge when I was reminded of this to be gentle with myself. It’s not perfect or revelatory but hope it helps.

Best regards,

W

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by sammy » Tue Feb 16, 2021 11:43 pm

Aw Wallee!

That is beautiful! We do go through a lot here! What a fantastic reminder...I'm going to use that for myself!

LOVE!!!!
Sammy
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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Seeker13 » Wed Feb 17, 2021 12:32 am

Wallee53,
Welcome to the boards! I saw you were going to delete this thread. I'm really glad you didn't. Hope you don't mind, that I respond to it as you've asked some very important questions, that many of us have struggled and continue to grapple with.

Do you mind sharing what conclusions you've come to?
Wallee53 wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:00 pm
My question is, I just don’t understand the point of mortal creation? I really just don’t seem to be very good at the whole being human thing in that I don’t like it and haven’t enjoyed the experience. I can’t help but think I wouldn’t have chosen this were I given any options.
I guess that is probably a question only the creator of mortals can truly answer, but I would like to share what I have come to understand about it.

To me it's almost like what any parent would be thinking deciding to have a child and then sending them out into the world. "Be born, grow my child. Learn what you can, then find your way back to me." If God is everything, with no beginning and no end. He/She already knows how it all turns out." Our planet was created in time/space to give us the opportunity to grow, have new experiences, and those experiences are added to the collective consciousness of all. All individuals are accompanied with a team of celestial helpers. On most worlds everyone is aware of these teachers and have help and guidance available to them as they live their lives.

Then the Lucifer Rebellion happened(a story for another time). Because of that, our planet and a few others that joined the rebellion, were cut off from the collective consciousness(all celestial help outside of the planet) so the ideas behind the rebellion didn't contaminate the rest of the planets. The 1111 Midwayers left who supported God's dictates, were the only ones here to help support humanity. Those humanoids were just beginning in their evolutionary development. Those who rebelled, pretty much did what ever they could to cause fear and chaos on the planet for millennia. Fortunately, as of 1981(?) the major players of the havoc wreakers were rounded up and adjudicated. That's the reason why humans exist on this planet. Since then the task of getting us back on track, unraveling the lies, and reestablishing the spiritual connections has been on-going.

What I'm going to tell you next is what I've come to believe as the truth. I believe that each and everyone of us is love unconditionally by God, no exceptions. Before being born we create our individual life plan crafted to learn and develop certain aspects of our person. This world is a pretty tough classroom to enter, but we're completely aware of that. Considering the chaos and downright hatefulness of this world, combined with free will, why would we choose these lives?... Because the lessons we need to learn are so very important. Not only to get ourselves back on a spiritual path, but to get our whole planet back on track to Light and Life.

All of this has been very general information. I would like to address your specific inquiries.
Wallee53 wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:00 pm
I’ve had a very sour time here to put it lightly and I don’t understand why God would subject any beings to this torment and it’s caused me a crisis of faith. I’m finding it hard to find my peace on this subject.
If you can wrap your head around the idea that God did not place us here to be subjected to this life. God is the ultimate being of love. Why would any parent place their adored child in such a world? We have free will. There are unlimited other choices available. This life is of our choosing, we thought we could handle it.
Wallee53 wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:00 pm
I’ve also tended to notice over the years that quite a few messages from celestials not specifically ones from this board but others across all platforms tend to refer to humans as the lowest of gods creatures or lowly beings. I always find this comment to be off putting in the sense that I’ve had a hard enough time of it here and don’t care to have my lowly status rubbed in my face to add to the mix.
Honestly, from a celestial standpoint, because of the Lucifer Rebellion and all that has followed, humans are on the bottom rung of the spiritual ladder. We have so much to learn. I don't think any of us like being referred to as 'lowly beings'. I think because of living the lives we have here were more sensitive to criticism. Where as beings from other worlds have never experienced the concept. It is beyond their comprehension. It might be that they do not realize they're being insulting, or perhaps the receiver of the transmission may have had their own negativities about the term and their interpretation reflects that.
Wallee53 wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:00 pm
I find reading those comments tend to further solidify my stance on not liking what I am and make it all the harder for me to find any sense of peace on this subject and move on.
Many of us have been gravely mistreated by our fellow beings. That coupled with hearing we're at the bottom of the barrel of everything by celestials... is just another slap in the face! I'm included in feeling and reacting the same way as you. When at my lowest low this realization came to me. "You are my precious child." Every time self-doubt, loathing, and insecurity began creeping back in, I clung to that statement.
Wallee53 wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:00 pm
I’m ashamed of being the type of creation that I am and I worry that if I can’t find something good about all this it will just cause me more trouble down the road.
Only we can make changes in ourselves. If we want our lives to be different, we have to be different in our actions and reactions. There comes a time we're at a crossroads. What will our choice be? To live as we have been, or do the work to get out of it? It's not easy, or quickly achieved.

Little by little if we can push all the judgements and assaults aside, and remember one thing. "We are loved without condition...We are here to learn to love." Without exception, if we can learn to love ourselves, our lives will change course.

As Sammy said, "You are not alone."

Kim
And Spirit whispered, "There are no limits."

We are akin to the aspen forests, seemingly separated but in actuality, one organism.

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Wallee53 » Thu Feb 18, 2021 4:26 pm

Hi Seeker 13,

Thank you so much for your response! I appreciate it. I’m glad to know now that I am not alone and that I am not the only one who struggles with these thoughts. I felt badly because I believed these were only problems I had. Everyone else just seems to naturally go with the flow of life here. I’ve never been much good at it :lol:. I’m not sure where I stand on the whole life plan thing In that I don’t know if I believe it’s true or not. If it’s a true thing then I believe mine was derailed by something that happened on accident. I became afflicted with a pesky illness early in life. It’s one of those ones that science still hasn’t caught up with or made any progress on. I prayed for years with no answers in sight. One night though I did hear an answer just not the one I was hoping for. One night I heard a female voice say to me very clearly and sincerely “I’m so sorry this happened to you”. Since that night I feel that what happened to me wasn’t a part of the plan and that all there is to do now is try and pick up whatever pieces I can that are left. In hindsight I’m sure what happened to me in life is why I struggle with the issues I laid out in my original post. I do believe that I’ve been guided throughout my life and that everyone did the best they could for me. Sometimes though I think plain old science needs to figure it out and it just wasn’t in time for me.

W

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Seeker13 » Fri Feb 19, 2021 12:07 am

Wallee53,
I understand and respect your feelings. It's definitely difficult to accept, "Everything happens for a reason," and/or, "There are no accidents," when you're living with the consequences of those 'accidents' everyday. I guess... for me, it makes it easier to accept my limitations knowing there was a reason and a plan for them to be in my life. I do not know what your limitations are, they sound pretty serious, but you are definitely not alone on this board. Don't let us fool you! Most of us have had much to overcome, either physically, mentally, or both.

With all the advancements of science and technology it seems like all illness and afflictions should be curable, unfortunately for those still suffering, that is not the case. Maybe for cures to come about, we must learn to couple science and technology with the spiritual? More and more they are learning that the mind is a powerful healer. What we believe, shapes possibilities.

Because of the female voice you've heard, it tells me someone is/has been watching over you. They have seen your suffering and feel compassion for you. Maybe you will always suffer from this, but you can change the way you feel about yourself. You can feel that depth of compassion for yourself. What ever has entrenched the degree of self-loathing in you can be unraveled and reversed. Wallee everyone deserves to feel worthy. Everyone deserves to be happy. This is God's wish for every single one of us. If that is what we want also, it's up to us to figure out how to accomplish that. It doesn't take a million dollars, or gadgets. It takes a change of perspective and self-acceptance, then begin the work.

Kim
And Spirit whispered, "There are no limits."

We are akin to the aspen forests, seemingly separated but in actuality, one organism.

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Sandy » Sat Feb 20, 2021 1:11 pm

Dear Wallee,
I am so sorry. I have just seen this as I haven't been on the threads in some days now. To be perfectly honest, I am working though my own dark night...but feeling better tonight...and you know why? I finally sat down and had a heart to heart with the Creator of all. (Well to be perfectly honest, I did much of the talking...but that's okay...When we're stressed, worried, fearful and all that nasty jazz...it is harder to connect in ways we feel "benefited." We are "benefitted" though whether we feel it or not... So I smiled when I read in one of your posts that the writing it out helped you. That is what I often do when I am at a loss. :) I cannot recommend writing enough as it has a way of pulling out exactly what we need to understand and hear.

You have gotten so many lovely thoughtful answers but I would just like to add one thing to the mix.... I know sometimes we hear something to the effect, that we are on the lowest rung of the spiritual ladder, but would you believe that Paradise beings who come into Time/Space to help us are not exactly jealous of us, but envious ( hmmm same thing, eh? ) well, take off the harsh negativity from those words and that's what they feel. They consider us to be the most blessed as Eternity is our "oyster." We have unlimited opportunities throughout our trek Upwards to contribute/learn/be anything do anything... Now, I for one think there is something to be said for being zapped into a perfect world with perfect beings that are as full of the Creator's love as is possible without being the Creator themselves... But hey...it is what it is and somehow, some way...God's perfect plan for us will reveal itself...maybe a million years from now. sigh Okay, I am a little sour myself sometimes...so you can see you aren't alone in your frustration. Ai yi yi.. I just now remembered what it was about the time years ago George was transmitting Monjoronson and I went ballistic and spoiled his transmit. I had mentioned it a couple weeks or so ago on another thread I think... But anyway, It was exactly what you are talking about. Monjoronson was speaking of how blessed we are.... etc... and I was having a particularly hard time on this day and Man!... I behaved like the lowly child some like to tell us we are. :shock: LOL I did apologize later to this Magnanimous being from Paradise... and that's the cool thing about Celestial Beings of such High origins... they are so loving and forgiving and understanding of all our peculiarities.

But I have heard we are the "babies of the universe.".. but this doesn't bother me because...think how much people on Earth love babies? Then imagine what it must be like for our celestial kin when they look at us doing something precocious or silly.
Yep, we are loved along with all our feet stamping tantrums...Thank God or I would have been thrown out with the bath water a long time ago. :shock: :D

xxSandy
“We measure and evaluate your Spiritual Progress on the Wall of Eternity." – Guardian of Destiny, Alverana.

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by Wallee53 » Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:55 am

Hi Sandy,

Thank you for the reply! Hope you’re feeling better today. I’m glad I left my post all the responses have really helped me tremendously. I was originally going to delete it after I finally found my own conclusion on it after writing it all out. I’ve written it out before idk why this time was finally the ah ha moment I needed. Anyway, I’m glad I left it; everyone’s responses have really helped me put this issue to rest now so I can move on. I don’t know what my future will hold but I think I can relax now and just go on whatever the journey is going to be for me with a clear head.

Thanks again everyone,

W

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Re: Struggling to find peace with what I was born as

Post by RunningScroll » Thu Dec 30, 2021 7:19 am

Dear Wallee

Humans on our planet carry a lot of detritus from the Lucifer Rebellion discussed in the Urantia Book. A lot of this is in our deep subconscious or unconscious mind, or even in our DNA. On top of this, our world was disconnected from the wider universe, adding to our sense of being 'an outcast in the universe'.

I, like many others (for instance the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, worth looking into his writings on living in the present moment of now), have had this feeling of not being existentially "right". For Tolle, this suffering eventually resulted in an inner transformation. The Wingmakers Materials teach us to see our sense of separation as a "pathway into Wholeness and Unity", the Wingmakers Music I have found does a lot in remedying this feeling of separation, by enticing us to embrace the higher vibrational spiritual forces within us and around us, that can help us clear out the dross.

For my own spiritual journey, I too once felt intolerably separate from life, where the odds against feeling joy and peace were too great! The thing that eventually got me out of that, to a tolerable mind and being, was meditation, but not just any meditation, asking as well our Divine Parents (Michael and Nebadonia) to come into me on a daily basis, and help clean up the detritus. After about a year or so, things started getting a lot better. But I was reminded, by them, to have courage and patience, and to not put an end date on the suffering. It will pass when it will pass, based on your own unique situation. Call upon your angels and your Thought Adjuster as well, and trust that eventually you will find the relief you seek.

Just remember, it's not really your fault, and is mostly a result of the planet you were born on, and the associated baggage. Just remember that when you eventually find your peace, it will be all the more sweet.

Read the Urantia Book too, and that will help you build your sense that 'everything is okay' even when it is not.

God bless you!

Dylan.

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