Question about forgiving horrible acts

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Oswald77
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Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Oswald77 » Thu Jul 23, 2020 4:33 pm

Hello all,

Me again! This will probably be my last post before I drift on my way again.

I wanted to ask about forgiveness. Forgiveness is admittedly a short coming of mine. I came from a family of grudges and anger. I was isolated...I also had an abusive father and a very weak & meek mother who was not mature enough in her own respect to have raised a child. I was not brought into existence because two people loved each other and wanted children. I was very thoughtlessly brought into being. I was an item on the check list for my parents and not much more. This coupled with an intellectual disability that I inherited as well as a few other defects thrown into the mix has caused some pretty poor outcomes for me and my life especially with respect to my adolescent years.

When I was a teenager I did some pretty horrendous things. Things that would be considered by most to be down right deplorable and most would agree eternally I should be condemned for it. Even though as an adult I can see why I was so out of control as a teenager I can’t forgive myself for the acts committed and idk if I could live with myself for eternity knowing what I did. As an adult now looking back it’s not surprising that my adolescence was an abysmal failure but still I worry that annihilation for me could be the only thing to make it right. I don’t want to disappoint my thought adjusters hard work especially since it is probably the only reason I even made it this far but still I just don’t see any other way to make it right either. In the end if spiritual annihilation is the only way to make it right than so be it I can accept that fate. I’m not going to make any final decisions on the matter until the first mansion world I figure...assuming I even make it there. I posted this because I was wondering if anyone had any insight on people like me who are in this predicament? Have there ever been any messages on this subject? I wanted to ask because it’s sort of the last major blockage I have. All the others I can handle in the end but this one not so much. How do I forgive myself for something that can’t really be forgiven?

Thanks in advance for any insight.

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Amigoo » Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:45 am

With annihilation only by choice - not condemnation from above - future lives of universe service should well atone for the mistakes of life on this planet. Besides, many of the events of this earthly life are relative only to this mortal existence. Undoubtedly, all who live here pass on to the first mansion world where the choice of annihilation could then be honored ... but not without all opportunities for rehabilitation.

Rod :)

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Amigoo » Fri Jul 24, 2020 10:01 am

:study: A message relating to the subject of "annihilation"
(even Lucifer had to choose annihilation after spurning mercy):

Re: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=26909&p=195550&hili ... on#p195550

"Lucifer was tried, along with his cohorts, in front of the Ancients of Days in the case called Gabriel vs. Lucifer, and after the four archrebels again spurned the offers of mercy they were offered by Michael, they chose annihilation and are no more. Thus ended the trial and adjudication that took place in the fall of 1985."

Rod :)

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Oswald77 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 11:03 am

Hello Amigoo,

Thank you for your message. I guess I didn’t explain well enough in my original post. I’m not worried about being condemned to annihilation. My point was that I can’t come to a place of forgiveness for myself to continue in the end. I don’t want to go down that route because I do believe the only reason I made it out of all that was my Thought Adjuster but I just don’t see any other way for me either. I’m at the age now where I can look back and see why it was such a failure but that hasn’t been enough for me to forgive myself and move on. I hope that make sense...I’m not very good at writing my thoughts because of a disability.

Thanks for the reply,

Oz

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Amigoo » Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:15 pm

Oz,

Your writing communicates well ... even better than some without "disability".

I find it encouraging to awaken every morning with the awareness that a new day has arrived -
the past is history! What happens today is more important than what happened yesterday,
relative to how we progress from here to eternity (if that be our choice).

"Forgiveness" seems to be something we earn for ourselves by moving forward
and not dwelling on the past; positive action more than mental deliberation.

Rod :)

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Oswald77 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 1:46 pm

Hi Amigoo,

Thanks for your reply! Your comment actually touched on another issue I have which is living in the now. From my father I always had to live in the future to be prepared to deal with him at a moments notice. From him my mind became a prediction machine constantly running future scenarios so I could be prepared. From my mother and disability I always had to live in the past agonizing over everything I did wrong no matter how minuet or ridiculous and constantly over analyzing. Since these foundations were laid in my childhood I admit I really don’t know what living in the now is like or really how to even do that in the first place lol. I suppose there’s some benefits to being able to predict and self reflect but I admit it has robbed me of my ability to be present in my life because my mind is always else where either predicting or self reflecting. I know there’s probably not an answer for how to fix it because it’s something I have to figure out but living in the now is definitely a completely foreign concept to me lol.

Thank you for your insight I appreciate it.

Oz

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Amigoo » Fri Jul 24, 2020 4:39 pm

Oz,

Your writing hints that you live in your mind more than on terra firma.
Self analysis and reflection is important, but we need breaks to Be.
Doing things, especially for others, seems to provide good moments
for accumulating better information on how we are progressing.

:scratch: Best guess: You already know how to move forward ...
as the past takes less of your conscious moments.
How would I know? "Been there! Done that!" :roll:

Rod :)

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by Seeker13 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 10:46 pm

Oz,
Seems Amigo has given some sound advice.

Hypervigilance is a common defense mechanism for abused children. I used to sleep with a baseball bat beside my bed. It would take about 10 seconds for me and my brother to be up and ready to defend our mom. That vigilance doesn't go away all by itself. It takes work... everything takes work.

It seems like you've thought pretty thoroughly on how you came to be you, and even on what may come next after you die. Believing all those things about yourself and how they came to be, are your truths, some of them sound pretty horrible. Of course we are the product of genetics and environment we can't change what has been. With the time you have left, what about taking each event and emotion and trying to understand them, those of your parents and yourself. There's nothing you can do about the words and actions of others, but you can try to understand them and try to figure out how they can no longer dictate who you are today. It's a tremendous amount of work, but possible. Taking personal responsibility for your actions, both past and present is the only way I know of to truly forgive yourself. You also have to believe both your parents and yourself deserve forgiving.

There must be a bigger picture, a broader perspective, maybe even a plan. An easy path does not build empathy, or strength of character. Pain, anger, fear can be replaced with love, forgiveness for others and yourself, by making the decision to break the cycle.

Kim
And Spirit whispered, "There are no limits."

We are akin to the aspen forests, seemingly separated but in actuality, one organism.

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Re: Question about forgiving horrible acts

Post by happyrain » Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:04 am

The answer is that it can be forgiven. You can only really forgive something when you understand it. As long as you are intolerant towards someone or something the truth is obscured. There is nothing we can't forgive, God as an omnipotent intelligence surely understands. Therefore, it is reasonable to say God forgives. Your disappointments are just, so long as we are here, we have many more disappointments to face. Your introspection is a testament to your good nature and an opportunity to exercise your Will. We are our worse enemy. Only by the maturity of the soul, life experience, will you begin to see things from another perspective and you will understand people and illnesses better. Ultimately you will forgive yourself for this too. God Bless you, all ways. :loves I believe you have more to see,exciting and joyful experience- Life will surprise you. Take it one day at a time... Be gentle with yourself. Continue your prayers, use your introspection towards making changes in your personal life. Breathe slow, deep breaths. Take time in stillness and ask for clarity. Do your best and forget the rest. As messed up as things seem, there is nothing that can't be forgiven.

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