Presence with Fear

[crluvearth]

Normally when I meditate I feel, after some time, a sense of presence, usually a light toughing/stroking to my face, which I love and have grown to feel comforted by, but whenever it goes beyond that I still find myself getting nervous. Recently I lay down to meditate and almost immediately sensed a presence, very strong presence, over me and around me. It even felt as if someone was lying on my legs and I could feel the blankets moving down around me. I tried to stay relaxed but my heart started racing and I couldn't seem to control my fear. How can I want something so much then freak out when it happens?

Fear can sure put a damper on meditating and I am really ready kick it to the curb. Haven't quite figured out how but I'll let you know if I do

Thanks!
Cindy

[Sandy]

Hi Cindy,
I read your post yesterday and it was still in the back of my mind (lots of empty space there ) when I read a post by Blue Nova on another thread today where she mentions her Guides, Gurus and Teachers sitting on her bed as a youngster and trying to encourage her in the difficulties life presented. So it reminded me that this can be a very good thing. It does take you by surprise though doesn't it? I have felt a Midwayer Guide's hand on my shoulder as I work or the feeling of a body leaning against mine as it sits beside me while we both listen to Cherubim Frank give a message. These are things I cherish now but they used to simply take me by surprise and the surprise itself eliminated the contact.

You know I was wondering...
Would you feel less vulnerable perhaps when this kind of thing happens if you were to sit up in meditation? I think I might have reacted as you did with what occured in this lying down position. Maybe it is a a common feeling we women share, but I do not like to feel vulnerable in any way shape and form. anyway just a pasing thought.
Love,
Sandy

[blue nova]

it can be a bit un-nerving at times... perfectly understandable... knowing someone is around and not always seeing them.

i love it when i get touches to the face...like massages with tingles and feelings attached....quite wonderful

i am a parent...wife...and when one strokes anothers face in such fashion....to me, there is great Love involved.

they do that a lot...touch. it is one form of commune/communication for souls.

i received a foot massage just the other night ! i started receiving massage to face...and i was a bit of a smarty-pants...i said to massage giver..."boy, the feet sure could use a rubbin'....they are throbbing"...and next thing i know, i was receiving a foot massage...altho it was a quick one.. as soon as nightfall comes, i look forward to 'them' coming out and mingling with me...

they are especially attracted to Love that stems from meditation....

(((Hugs)))

[mm1111]

Dear bluenova-

I am so happy I just read your post! There have been a couple of times recently where I thought something was touching my forehead while meditating. The first time, I thought a bug had flown close to my face just brushing it with a wing or the wind from the wing. I was in my room where there are not really any bugs and I did not hear one. Then the second time it was stroking my forehead and I knew it had to be something. Yay, whoo whoo!!

SO happy feel close to them! Lately, if I have not been able to meditate properly in the morning, I have been kind of meditating while trying to go to sleep. My husband is right there so I try not to "look" like I'm meditating. I just lay as if I were sleeping and concentrate on saying the divine love prayer in my head and think about how much I love God and how I can be more like Him while going about my day. Do you think they recieve any of this? I know thought and intention have a lot to do with communication so I was just hoping they were getting some of it even though my husband is laying there snoring. lol! It was funny last night he kicked me in his sleep (not hard) three times while I was saying the divine love prayer three times in my head. I had a passing thought of them using him to say hello, probably reaching I know!

Thanks for helping me to understand that they do enjoy touching us. I am also a mom and wife and know those love strokes. My mom and I called them smoothies. I sure do miss her and hope they keep on giving me that love. Much love to you, mm

[LolaandLight]

I have felt someone stroking my hair before. A couple of times, when in the first few seconds of coming out of sleep, I have felt that I was being held by a prescence that left as soon as I awoke and spoke to me before leaving. It didn't speak out loud though. I mean I didn't hear it with my ears. But, I always felt that I was being comforted and, so, there was no fear. Actually, what I felt was more akin to awe that it happened and could happen. I knew the time I was held that it was a male energy presence. I wasn't sure if it was a ghost or if it was an angel or what. I didn't feel violated though, just deeply understood and loved. I think the feeling of being understood meant as much to me as the feeling of being loved.

I did become afraid of the presences that I could feel around me before coming to this site. I was afraid that they were real and, because I did not understand who or what they were. I was afraid that if they weren't real, I was a bit off my kettle for even "feeling' them around. (I use the phrase "off my kettle" instead of "off my rocker" because if a kettle if full and it is not sitting completely upright, it most likely will spill over and create a huge mess that will take lots of time to clean up. If a rocker is off, a person will fall to the floor. Then, it is just a matter of picking oneself up, brushing oneself off, and going on. Cleaning up a mess from a full kettle is more of a pain in the old batoot in my mind.)

[crluvearth]

Would you feel less vulnerable perhaps when this kind of thing happens if you were to sit up in meditation? I think I might have reacted as you did with what occured in this lying down position. Maybe it is a a common feeling we women share, but I do not like to feel vulnerable in any way shape and form. anyway just a pasing thought.

It's so funny you should mention this Sandy, the 2 things I need to change, timing of meditation and sitting up. Last week I tried sitting up before bed and I kept nodding off and my mouth would fall open Then to top it off I snored a couple of times, which I never do, and woke myself up...too hilarious! SO just another reminder I have to make this a priority in the mornings. If I can wake up at 5am to go to the gym I can fit in a meditation somewhere. My goal this week it to talk to my husband so I can communicate a quiet space for myself so he knows not to disrupt me or let the kids. Thanks for sharing... and the reminders I haven't had that experience since, and I keep telling them it's OK but I'm sure the last thing they want is to scare me. I have Faith they will know when the time is right for me.

i received a foot massage just the other night ! i started receiving massage to face...and i was a bit of a smarty-pants...i said to massage giver..."boy, the feet sure could use a rubbin'....they are throbbing"...and next thing i know, i was receiving a foot massage...altho it was a quick one.. as soon as nightfall comes, i look forward to 'them' coming out and mingling with me...

Oh, I am so using this next time I've done a little testing, you know, just to be sure. And sure enough if I say something like "well if this starts going down my left cheek then it MUST be a celestial" hee-hee, surprising they don't just slap me sometimes.

This is the closest I have come to communication and I'll take it, it is a wonderful delight! So glad to hear others experiencing the same thing, just another affirmation



Cindy

[Sandy]

Hi Cindy,
I laughed out loud when you described your "sitting up" meditation experience... mostly cause I have been there...once nodding off and cracking my chin so hard on my chest that I had a sore neck. This often happens if I wait a little too late to mediate after a long day.
But good on you....

If I can wake up at 5am to go to the gym I can fit in a meditation

Wow! I am impressed and wish a little of that desire to exercise would rub off on me...but maybe at a brighter hour...Say...10:00am.
Hope you get a nice window of "meditation opportunity."
Love,
Sandy

[crluvearth]

Thanks Sandy, glad to know I'm not the only one struggling staying awake....it is quite relaxing I think I remember reading some of the celestial messages making jokes to George about staying awake, it was pretty funny.

If you knew me a year or two ago you would have faint if I told you I was getting up at 5am for anything. The house could have been on fire and I would have probably slept right through it It's something I've worked up to and the first couple of months were painful, literally, but I'm pretty use to it now and seeing the physical and feeling the positive emotional results helps.

Cheers!
Cindy

[blue nova]

i struggle with falling asleep also....

Intent...does not go un-noticed by God , he is aware of our intentions ...

(((Hugs)))

[Sandy]

You know, Cindy,

Thanks! What you said here encourages me...

If you knew me a year or two ago you would have faint if I told you I was getting up at 5am for anything. The house could have been on fire and I would have probably slept right through it It's something I've worked up to and the first couple of months were painful, literally, but I'm pretty use to it now and seeing the physical and feeling the positive emotional results helps.

I have been wanting to get up earlier but George and I have gotten into a strange pattern of staying up late..nearly till 3:00am and getting up late. This routine bothers me and leaves me out of sorts some days... Did you just set a time and adhered to it to rise, or worked your way gradually over a couple months towards a healthier routine? When I first came here Midwayer Mathew always woke me up at 7:33am and I loved that time of morning and meditating first thing. He gradually gave up on me as I constantly ignored his wake up calls.

Hiya Anne!
Thanks for this. ...

Intent...does not go un-noticed by God , he is aware of our intentions ...

Something else I needed to hear, Sis.

Love,
Sandy

[luvinlife]

I also needed to hear that (intent does not go unnoticed). Love to all!

Love, Clare

[crluvearth]

Hi Sandy,

Yes, it's hard to get back on track with sleep cycles and I fought it for years. It didn't seem to matter how much sleep I got, I didn't start feeling truly rested until I went to be earlier and got up earlier, the same time consistantly. On weekends I will still stay up late once in a while, and still get my 7-8 hours, but will feel off the rest of the day.

Starting the workouts definitely motivated me and I started with a personal trainer at a unique gym (not chain health club) and it helped me be accountable. Finding a friend you could meet with also helps and I did this a few years ago and we took turns picking each other up so I had to be be and ready By the second month I was getting up much easier and looking forward to going.

Sounds like 7:33 is your internal wakeup clock and I love that Midwayer Mathew was trying to wake you up! You could always work your way back, going to bed an hour earlier each night and waking up an hour earlier each morning until you find what feels best

I hope this was helpful....if we were closer I would love to get up and meet you for a nice walk

Intent...does not go un-noticed by God , he is aware of our intentions

LOVE THIS, thanks for the reminder

Love to all,
Cindy

[HDPG]

[quote]Guides, Gurus and Teachers sitting on her bed as a youngster and trying to encourage her in the difficulties life presented. So it reminded me that this can be a very good thing. It does take you by surprise though doesn't it?[/quote]
Thanks for that Sandy,
I am new to these message boards (in fact this my first post on any messageboard, ever), but I have been reading these message boards and an AC student since January. I get the brushes on my left leg and face. To me, it feels much like a nice breeze in a draftless room. If memory serves me correctly, it usually happens in the left leg, but now I have an explanation of what it is. How interesting! I always had my suspicions, so I appreciate everyone's validations of my experience. I also appreciate the advice to sit up during meditation. It just hit me, looking back, my deepest alpha's have been sitting up and now I have an explanation. I don't feel as vulnerable. That is fantastic! I can practice the AC more this way until that bothersome, yet, innate fear subsides.
My wife has impressed upon me the importance of journaling, and I have tried to be vigilant in this practice since I began the AC. There are those fleeting images, signs, voices, that I just can't quite remember after going through the entire meditation. I have always tried to go through the AC uninterrupted. Is this necessary? Does anyone know if I can open my eyes and journal as I go through the AC and still remain in deep alpha? Thanks for any advice.

[George]

HDPG writes:

Thanks for that Sandy,
I am new to these message boards (in fact this my first post on any messageboard, ever), but I have been reading these message boards and an AC student since January. I get the brushes on my left leg and face. To me, it feels much like a nice breeze in a draftless room. If memory serves me correctly, it usually happens in the left leg, but now I have an explanation of what it is. How interesting! I always had my suspicions, so I appreciate everyone's validations of my experience. I also appreciate the advice to sit up during meditation. It just hit me, looking back, my deepest alpha's have been sitting up and now I have an explanation. I don't feel as vulnerable. That is fantastic! I can practice the AC more this way until that bothersome, yet, innate fear subsides.

It amazes me that even though we all know (at least I presume we do) that there are no more demons and the like, we still harbor fear. Best thing to do is ask for protection before you begin. You won't really need it, but it's a good feeling I'm told.

My wife has impressed upon me the importance of journaling, and I have tried to be vigilant in this practice since I began the AC. There are those fleeting images, signs, voices, that I just can't quite remember after going through the entire meditation. I have always tried to go through the AC uninterrupted. Is this necessary? Does anyone know if I can open my eyes and journal as I go through the AC and still remain in deep alpha? Thanks for any advice.

"Deep Alpha" is designed to take you below where you want to be, and allow you stability at a higher level -- IOW you might drift down to 8 cycles to then rise to 10 or even 12, eyes open and journaling what comes to mind. Never mind if it is sheer rubbish (and it might not be) for weeks or even months. You will "fall into a correct groove" sooner or later, and then it becomes routine for your brain and mind to "go back to that state" where journaling is successful each time.

Hope this helps. It's one way to go about it. Lots of folks go far too deep. I used to.

God bless....
George

[blue nova]

George wrote:

there are no more demons and the like

(((Hugs)))

[mm1111]

Hello all-

I hate to bring this up and do not wish to cause anyone fear with their meditation but I feel this is a question I need to ask. When I first found this site I also had fear. I believe it might have been Geoff that wrote in response to me that "all of the bad guys were gone" and there is nothing left to fear. I had some doubts about if the person (i thought was my teacher) that I had been communicating with through automatic writing was actually tricking me. Now, I know that automatic writing is not such a good idea and only meditate. I think I let my gaurds down because I thought all the bad guys were gone and spent 3 months being led away from God and wasted all my time with this astral being whom by the way was extremely rude once I found him out. Did not seem like much of a "good guy" and now I can't get rid of him.

I only bring this up because I would like to know the difference between a "demon" and very rude astral being. Also can an astral being try to communicate through meditation? My impression was no but some times it seems as if he is controlling my mood and if he can do that then what else does he have access to?

Thanks and much love, mm

[HDPG]

You will "fall into a correct groove" sooner or later, and then it becomes routine for your brain and mind to "go back to that state" where journaling is successful each time.

Thanks George. I am looking forward to practing going in and out and capturing every memory I can. I still see mostly Violet and Green light's, but the images are coming more now. There are times when I feel I am slipping very deep and out of my body, and I'll tense up. I have gotton better, but given enough time, I always "snap" back. I feel as though I am dropping down, losing my stomach a bit, then moving out of my eye lids, and floating to my right. I enjoy it for about 30 seconds, then tense up. Frustrating.... Any advice for this particular juncture? I can hold out for a bit, but I would love to just fly on.
PG

[crluvearth]

I still see mostly Violet and Green light's, but the images are coming more now. There are times when I feel I am slipping very deep and out of my body, and I'll tense up. I have gotton better, but given enough time, I always "snap" back.

PG, I experience the same thing, bright violet and green lights that swirl around, it's quite beautiful and relaxing! I think I get too excited and find myself tensing up and losing it but there are times where I stay relaxed and enjoy the sensation, physically and visually. I wasn't sure if it was just me or part of the experience so thanks for the affirmation

Cheers!
Cindy

[HDPG]

Starting the workouts definitely motivated me

Thanks Cindy,
I truly believe that regular and rigorous exercise of our bodies while living on this Earth is important for our soul's growth and evolution in the hereafter. I guess since I can really only speak for myself, let me just say it has been and remains to be important for me on many levels (Self-Discipline, Endorphins, Strength, Durability, Confidence, Stamina, Mood, and the list goes on) . Glad to see you enjoy the same benefits. Biochemically, it gives my brain a distinct advantage in relaxing the body. That, in turn helps my mind and soul be more receptive to the Divine dowloads that come my way during meditation and AC, and I feel it helps me amplify any of my thoughts, prayers, healing, etc. back into the universe. If you live in the US, then you are familiar with P90X. Lot's of variety with Yoga and Martial Arts mixed in once a week each, both of which I feel have been Somatically, most important to my total health (Body, Mind, Spirit).

I experience the same thing, bright violet and green lights that swirl around, it's quite beautiful and relaxing!

Happy to hear of someone (you) close to my level of sights and sensations. I have found them relaxing too. I mentally melt when I can concentrate into their beauty. I get the feeling they are actual entities that I just can't quite see yet. They come and go as they see fit, but many times I will find them answering questions I am having with thought during meditations. The intensity, excitedness, and brightness will come through when relevant thoughts come through that I should be paying attention to. There is much more Violet than Green for me, but practice the AC mostly. Green is additionally present when I meditate on myself and/or creating my present life. I don't know what that color means, but the prensence feels different to me. Do you get any mixed in visions, images, symbols, etc?

[crluvearth]

Hi PG,

Yes, heard of P90X, have a good friend that's been doing it for a few months and loves it! I do Cross Fit training and started running in addition to this, which has been a chore but have finally built up to 2-miles without feeling like I'm going to die I love the combination I get with Cross Fit but no Yoga I use to practice Yoga regularly and it is very helpful, I miss it!

I just posted something today I experienced meditating last night re; ringing in the ears. You'll have to read it but not sure what it all means, was quite new and strange. I definitely saw something but my biggest block as an Akashic student is fear. I came into this whole process basically a virgin in regards to spirituality and religion knowledge/experience. I have to remind myself that daily and that I can't undo years of nothing in a few months. That makes me feel better about what path I'm on. I'm an instant gratification type of gal so some days I get impatient, especially when I read new people starting and getting contact/messages right away...no fair

Last night I was reflecting on where I was at a couple of years ago compared to where I was today and it made me very grateful. When I look at the big picture and know that I was given this opportunity by receiving then noticing the prompts and then finding out what it all meant and finding this wonderful group, it makes me feel extremely blessed!

I wish I had more experience with visions, etc. to share with you. I know there are a lot of people who have and I think once I can really let go of expectations and quit thinking about what's happening instead of just experiencing it I will probably be much more in tne with what I am seeing/hearing.

Sounds like you are well on your way

Love,
Cindy

[HDPG]

I have lots of friends doing the Cross Fit. That is tough stuff!!! I have been doing the P90X for almost a year now, and it has really just become part of my daily life now. I used to run and train for triathlons in the past, but that is too time consuming. I hope to build more Yoga into my daily routines, though. I feel the best after Yoga, for sure......
I remember George mentioning on one of these posts (some time ago) that there is a good reason for the slow "progress" or learning curve regarding what we see or hear. It certainly makes sense that I feel mentally stable with what I see and hear, and slowly learn how to integrate it into my life. The fear will subside when it is supposed to. Keep up the good work!!!

Much Love,
PG

[HDPG]

I think I get too excited and find myself tensing up and losing it but there are times where I stay relaxed and enjoy the sensation, physically and visually.

Cindy your quote here goes way back, but I wanted to pick this thread back up, share an experience, and see if anyone else out there can relate.

Just yesterday I had what I feel was a small breakthrough or small step in the right direction toward relaxing during my floating sensation. Normally that "loss of control" makes me tense up, so in the spirit of working on that, I decided to try a sunset stillness meditation outside on a float in my pool. The idea was to let my senses naturally skip the "floating meditation tense up" altogether because I would already be floating in my pool. I have to say the transition was almost seamless. If anyone is familiar with the Summertime phenomenon of the insect Cicadas, then you'll undersand the perfect resonating drone and tone they sing during the late afternoon. Well, I used that sound to "lullaby" or quiet my brain while I floated. Once sufficiently quieted I would see the most beautiful violet, lavender, and indigo.....Mostly violet. Soon after it was if I could "focus" my eyes further on the color and I saw the colors were made of concentric lines that were continually oscillating in many beautiful patterns. Think of it much like looking at a violet fingerprint lines that were constantly changing their pattern. I've seen this before, but the clarity yesterday was unmatched. Has anyone seen this before? Ok, soon after that stage, I felt myslf floating from left to right....The colors faded but the grayish background began to streak as I moved. There was no detail, just streaking as I moved left to right. About that time a songbird above me in a Pine tree began singing incessantly. Just beautifully...... All the while I floated without a care in the world. The sensation was,finally, just as fabulous as I had longed for it to be. If anyone can add, share or relate I would love to hear it.

So happy to share this one....
Phillip

[Sandy]

Hey Phillip,
Ahhh... what a fabulous meditation you had!...I felt myself relax just reading it and it brought back a few memories as well. Not sure this is exactly like yours, but I remember one meditation in particular when I was "floating on my outside swing"..back and forth... back and forth the wind gently moved me and I began to see geometric patterns of color much like in a Kalideskope. It was very peaceful!

Thank you for mentioning the cicadas. It goes to show how we can also use the sound in our environment to assist us in meditation rather than confound us. I think it may be all in the way we view our annoyances. Something for me to remember when the neighbors dog insists on being noticed.
Love,
Sandy

[Geoff]

Something for me to remember when the neighbors dog insists on being noticed.

Dear Sandy,

Here is a challenge, that is easily done. Provided the dog is BORED, and not on watch, worried, you can put him to sleep. You can of course very easily tell the bark of a bored dog. Just focus on him, you dont need to know where he is, or even his name. Imagine stroking him, and talk to him nicely. Within ten minutes he will have stopped barking, and another ten minutes should see him asleep. I have had a dog respond in SECONDS to this treatment, with the doggie equivalent of "Huh. What's Up. Who is that?"

love,
Geoff

[happyrain]

wow HDPG that is beautiful