Hello again Mustangocd,
I can assure you that none of us here will think you are nuts after what you just wrote from your heart. There are several people on this board who share your gift and one jumps readily to mind. Her gift, like yours are indiscriminate and sometimes It is very hard to know what she knows...Perhaps she can help you manage it or give you some ideas how she deals with it. Bless you...to know when people in your life will die. No that can't be easy and I can certainly understand why you may look on it as a curse.
What you are receiving, the intuition, because of the nature of it, I believe comes from a connection with your own very special part of God that dwells within you. It is information of a Paradise (heavenly) kind I think...and there is a reason you are receiving it. You seem to have a very caring heart. You are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. And you, for whatever God's reasons, are given something very important, something very special...pre knowledge. How you use what you know could be the difference between acceptance and peace with it or the continuation of what feels like a burdensome curse that carries such stigma and weight in your own mind. Think for a moment... This special intuition can also be cultivated in knowing what people's needs are at one of the most important times in their lives, their death. It is a most caring service that some perform even in the next realm to help those who have recently transitioned to adjust. It doesn't have to be limited to death either. It can service the living too! This is something you are already familar with as is evident in your posts that are filled with caring attitudes towards those who are a part of the world around you. As you respect and develop your intuitive gift and the communication welling from within, a peace will ensue because you are actually walking and talking with God and it is from there that you derive your strength. It is from there that all of us derive our stength and determination to persist against what seems the slim odds of success. Lets face it, the news is filled with ugliness that man/woman do to each other and the world at large. The outlook is mind numbingly gloomy! But luckily we know there is more and we know that none of us are alone and without needed celestial help and guidance. We mentioned Midwayers...They are very close to us and are celestial kin who work with our angels and were actually born on this very earth a long time ago. They love our common Parent, God too, and they also love us, their human cousins, dearly and long for this world to be peaceful and full of light for all our sakes. They work tirelessly for the health, welfare and good of all of us. Here are a few URLs that might help explain about Midwayers and their role http://board.1111angels.com:80/viewtopic.php?t=9021
and our board's purpose here http://board.1111angels.com/viewtopic.php?t=6573
... The reason this site was begun. http://board.1111angels.com/viewforum.php?f=9
We are light workers, Mustangocd. We try to help those around us in what ever way is presented for us to help. We do not always know if we have made a difference but it doesn't deter us. Because it is in the trying, in the loving, and the offering of a hand up that we fulfill a purpose of sorts. We learn from the situations good and bad that occur and use it to further our understanding and love of others and even ourselves too, as the case may be.
I don't know exactly what I am saying here Mustangocd... I guess I am gropping for a way to show support and to help you understand that you are safe here and not alone. If I/we can accomplish this and help you to see that we do not judge you, that you are accepted into our 11:11 board family with love and even real joy... that you do not have to carry this burden alone anymore, then maybe we have reached a small beginning and maybe you can see a spark of hope. Hopefully others who understand and have experienced what you have for themselves will assist you, and maybe, down the road, it won't be so hard to carry this burden anymore. I'm glad you opened up and I am glad you are here. I am glad and proud to call you a new friend.