contacting angels..

[LolaandLight]

Petra,

I do the same. I will feel as if I am flying high in my understanding and inner peace. Then, something bad happens, and it knocks be back to square one. It took me a while to realize that the bad tests understanding and ability to maintain an inner peace no matter what happens. It is as if I expect the understanding and peace to create a atmosphere in my life where nothing bad happens. I didn't see that I was doing this, expecting the love and peace from God to be mirrored in the material world. I would, and may still, feel like a failure because I think I am mustering up good vibes and those will keep the bad times at bay. You know the positive thinking mentalilty. The thing is, and this is what I now believe, is that we get the peace. We get the understanding, and then the bad times come as a way to allow us to flex our spiritual muscles. It carries us through the bad times, it chases away the impact they may have on our concept of life, ourselves, and God's love. We build more spiritual muscles and deeper understanding. But, it isn't easy. My first instinct when the bad times come, depending on their nature, is to curl up in a ball crying "why, why, why?"